Posts Tagged ‘Food Verse’
Friday, January 11th, 2013
Every time CES rolls around, we’re bombarded with another slew of silly inventions. And CES 2013 is no exception.
I’ve already versified about the Smarter Socks app for hard-to-sort socks. But today I found an even more ridiculous invention: The WineRack Bra:
Turn an A cup in to double Ds AND sport your favorite beverage for yourself and your friends!
Better than a Boob Job and Cheaper Too! Not to mention the savings on over priced drinks.
We developed The Winerack to “Fill Out” our product line if you will. The picture shown here is of our good friend Drea, who is NOT, no offense Drea, Well Endowed. Sporting the Winerack and Voila’ Drea’s giving Pamela Anderson a run for the money.
Take a bottle of wine, a mixed drink or even a fifth of your favorite hard stuff to the movies, concerts, ball games, even PTA meetings. Sporting a rack that will turn heads and serving a beverage that will have guys standing in line for a sip of your secret stash!
With simple blow into the tube it’s easy to keep that full look even as you drink from your secret stash.
This cries out for a limerick, don’t you think?
Yet Another Invention For Boobs (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Here’s another demented invention:
A bra to enhance each dimension
Of your breasts using wine.
Sip your bra while you dine?
Both sexy and oh so thirst quenchin’.
(In case you missed it many years ago, here are my Wonderbra Song Parody lyrics, which you could sing to “Miracle of Miracles” from “Fiddler on the Roof”.)
Tags: Boobs, Bra Humor, Brassieres, Breasts Humor, CES, Clothing Poem, Consumer Electronics Show, Fashion Verse, Food Humor, Food Verse, Inventions Poem, Odd Inventions, Physical Appearance, Underwear Humor, Wine Humor, Women's Fashion
Posted in Fashion Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Trends, Physical Appearance | 10 Comments »
Wednesday, January 9th, 2013
The 9-1-1 emergency number has become so common, you’d think people would know when (and when not) to use it. But apparently not.
How NOT To Use 9-1-1 (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The 9-1-1 number is meant
For a notably urgent event.
Don’t call to report
A stale pizza or torte…
Or hamsters that breed sans consent.
(Using 911 to report a lion sighting in Virginia is probably okay … even if it turns out to be just a labradoodle groomed to look like a lion.)
Tags: 911 Calls, Animal & Pet Humor, Cops & Police, Crime & Punishment Humor, Emergency Calls, Emergency Line Limerick, Food Verse, Hamster Humor, Labradoodle Humor, Lion Humor, Pizza Humor, Policeman Verse, Telephone Humor
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Behavior & Personality, Crime & Punishment Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Telephone Humor | Comments Off on How NOT To Use 9-1-1 (Limerick)
Tuesday, December 4th, 2012
Happy National Cookie Day, December 4th.
Ambitious Techie (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A techie served cookies malicious
To his team members. Talk about vicious!
A promotion he chased.
He was fired post-haste—
Just deserts for a guy so ambitious.
Tags: Ambition Verse, Computer Humor, Cookies Limerick, December Holidays, Dessert Humor, Food Verse, Just Deserts, National Cookie Day, Self-Promotion, Techie Humor, Technology Humor, Workplace & Career Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Food & Drink Humor, General, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Workplace & Career Humor | 4 Comments »
Wednesday, October 31st, 2012
Though schools remain closed,
trick-or-treat stash is untouched:
Halloween Sandy.
*****
Hurricane Sandy
sure outpaces Halloween
in sheer spookiness.
Tags: Candy Humor, Children Humor, Food Verse, Haiku & Senryu, Halloween Humor, Hurricane Sandy, New York Weather, October Holidays, Trick-or-Treat, Weather Poem
Posted in Children Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Holiday Humor, Weather Humor | 2 Comments »
Saturday, October 27th, 2012
Tomorrow, October 28th, is National Chocolate Day. (Okay, every day is chocolate day in my house. But still…)
A Limerick for National Chocolate Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Oh, no! Did I make a mistake
While baking that chocolate cake?
An ingredient doubled?
Or tripled? I’m troubled!
I should have bought something from Drake.*
* Drake’s a baking company, now a subsidary of Hostess.
UPDATE: If you need a further excuse, I’ve just learned that December 16th is Chocolate Covered Anything Day.
Tags: Baking Humor, Baking Limerick, Candy Humor, Chocolate, December Holidays, Drake's Cakes, Food Verse, Hostess, National Chocolate Day, October Holidays
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 7 Comments »
Thursday, October 11th, 2012
Just what we all need — yet another reason to eat chocolate!
Eat chocolate, win a Nobel Prize?
It may sound far-fetched, but a new study suggests it might not be bad advice.
The results show countries that eat the most chocolate also have the highest number of Nobel laureates per capita.
Yet Another Excuse To Eat Chocolate (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If you want yet another excuse
To engage in some chocolate abuse,
It seems eating those sweets
Will create smart elites
And can Nobel Prize winners produce.
UPDATE: If you need a further excuse, I’ve just learned that December 16th is Chocolate Covered Anything Day.
Tags: Brain Humor, Brain Studies, Chocolate, Chocolate Poem, December Holidays, Dessert Humor, Food Humor, Food Verse, Intelligence, Nobel Prize, Science Humor, Scientific Studies
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Mental Health Humor, Odd Holidays | 13 Comments »
Saturday, October 6th, 2012
Claudia over at DVerse prompts us to write food-related poetry.
Dining Out (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There are rest’rants that set a good mood
And are great at adjusting your tude.
They’ll charm and beguile
With a great sense of style.
Now if only they served decent food.
Tags: Dining Humor, DVerse, Eating Limerick, Food Poem, Food Verse, Poetry Prompt, Restaurant Humor
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | 16 Comments »
Saturday, June 16th, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A man who was never in doubt…*
or
A gal who was never in doubt…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Doubt
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A chef who was never in doubt,
When challenged would glower and shout.
To the slightest critique,
He’d respond with great pique.
But the fellow could sure dish it out.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Chef Humor, Criticism Humor, Critics Humor, Food Humor, Food Verse, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Self-Doubt, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 76 Comments »
Wednesday, May 16th, 2012
An Acrostic Limerick Treat
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though desserts can be very enticing,
Remember — beware of the pricing:
Ended up with a bill
Awf’ly high — bitter pill.
Thanks heavens for chocolate icing!
(Writers Digest’s Poetic Asides prompts us to write a dessert-related poem.)
You can find more of my acrostic limericks here.
Tags: Acrostic Poems, Chocolate Poem, Dessert Humor, Food Humor, Food Verse, Money Verse, Poetic Asides, Writer's Digest
Posted in Acrostic Limericks, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor | 2 Comments »
Sunday, January 22nd, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A gal with a very full plate…*
or
A man with a very full plate…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
A Plateful Of Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal with a very full plate
Was planning to cancel a date.
But the fellow’s insistence
Met little resistance:
The allure of good food was too great.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Dating Humor, Employment Humor, Food Verse, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Workplace Poetry, Writing Prompts
Posted in Contests, Dating Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 54 Comments »
Sunday, November 20th, 2011
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A man was attempting to eat…
or
A gal was attempting to eat…
Here’s mine, which I hope doesn’t describe your Thanksgiving dinner:
Edible Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man was attempting to eat
When he spotted a mouse near his seat.
So he smashed down his foot,
And the mouse went kaput,
As his kid cried, “You killed little Pete!”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Children Limerick, Food Humor, Food Verse, Mice Humor, Parenting Humor, Pets Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Thanksgiving, Writing Prompts
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Children Humor, Contests, Food & Drink Humor, Holiday Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Relationship Humor | 72 Comments »
Wednesday, October 19th, 2011
October’s a big month for holidays. No, I’m not talking about Halloween. I’m referring to National Nut Day And National Bologna Day, October 22 and October 24, respectively. (And no, National Nut Day doesn’t celebrate politicians, although it should.)
National Nut Day — No Baloney! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s a day for ‘most any old food—
Launched by salesmen, I’m forced to conclude.
October touts nuts
And bologna. Cold Cuts
Day is March, though. I plan to get stewed.
Tags: Advertising Humor, Cold Cuts Day, Food Verse, Marketing Humor, National Bologna Day, National Nut Day, October Holidays, Sales Humor, Weird Holidays
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Marketing Humor | 3 Comments »
Sunday, October 2nd, 2011
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A guy in the mood for a bite…
or
A gal in the mood for a bite…
Here’s mine:
A Limerick Bite
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A guy in the mood for a bite
Was upset — not one rest’rant in sight.
All he found was a deli
Whose odor was smelly.
Did he live through his meal there? Not quite.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Food Humor, Food Verse, Hunger Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Restaurant Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Contests, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | 49 Comments »
Sunday, September 4th, 2011
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was trying to dine…
or
A woman was trying to dine…
Here’s mine:
Dining On Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was trying to dine,
When a teenager started to whine.
Then a baby chimed in —
Spoiled his steak. What a sin!
So he yelled, “Damn those children of mine!”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Children Limerick, Food Verse, Parenting Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Restaurant Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Children Humor, Contests, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | 75 Comments »
Monday, August 8th, 2011
Raw Confusion Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I stare at my freezer, unglued:
I’m in “Indian leftovers” mood.
But it’s chaos in there.
Yes, from now on I swear
That I’ll label my freezer-bound food.
UPDATE: I just found out that November 29th is “Throw Out Your Leftovers Day.” And October 30th is Haunted Refrigerator Night.
Tags: Eating Limerick, Food Poetry, Food Verse, Freezer Limerick, Frozen Food, Haunted Refrigerator Night, Household Chores, Indian Cuisine, Leftovers Limerick, November Holidays, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Throw Out Your Leftovers Day
Posted in Chores Humor, Food & Drink Humor, House & Home Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 10 Comments »
Wednesday, June 22nd, 2011
Watching Twitter can be a good way to spot disgusting new trends. For instance, just yesterday the phrase “Fried Kool-Aid” was a hot tweet topic. So naturally I had to investigate.
Here’s what a learned about fried Kool-Aid:
Creator Charlie Boghosian explains that the Kool-Aid balls are “kind of like donut holes” with a batter made from flour, water and Kool-Aid. His inspiration was fairly straightforward; Boghosian loved drinking Kool-Aid when growing up so he thought, “why not fry it and see what happens.”
Fried What??? (A Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Fried Kool-Aid? The thought makes me gag.
Seems it’s prompting some tweet tongues to wag.
Do you munch it or sip it?
I think I’ll just skip it.
Hope it comes with a giant barf bag!
Tags: Charlie Boghosian, Deep Fried Kool-Aid Balls, Food Humor, Food Verse, Twitter Verse
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Trends, Twitter Humor | 6 Comments »
Tuesday, June 14th, 2011
Healthy Complaint (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dark choc’late, caffeine, and red wine
Might harm us, or may be just fine.
Ev’ry news item muddies
My mind with new studies.
Please make up your mind: What’s benign?
(Prompted by We Write Poems, which encouraged poets to use two prompts at once. I used health and chocolate.)
You might also enjoy my Are Health Studies Making Us Sick? and Margarine Is Good For You. Oops — Never Mind!
Tags: Caffeine Humor, Chocolate Poem, Diet Humor, Food Verse, Health & Medical Humor, Health Studies, Wine Humor
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse | 21 Comments »
Sunday, June 5th, 2011
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow who loved fine cuisine…
or
A woman who loved fine cuisine…
Here’s mine:
Gourmet Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
Thought non-gourmet dining obscene.
But he could not afford
The food he adored,
Which explains why that guy was so lean.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Dining Humor, Eating Limerick, Food Verse, Gourmet Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Contests, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | 64 Comments »
