Brace yourself! Tomorrow, August 31, is Eat Outside Day.
Although eating outside can be fun,
My enjoyment is quickly undone
By insects that join
To dine on one’s loin.
Just one bite, and I’ll bug out and run.
Posts Tagged ‘Food Humor’
A Limerick To Help You Celebrate “Eat Outside Day” (August 31)
Sunday, August 30th, 2015For National Banana Lover’s Day, A Limerick (August 27)
Thursday, August 27th, 2015It’s National Banana Lovers Day, so here’s my requisite limerick:
The smell of bananas is vile.
Just one hit of them raises my bile.
They taste awful when green
And when ripened, obscene.
In essence, they stink up the aisle.
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: JERK at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5
Saturday, June 27th, 2015It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using “JERK” at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A chef who had many a quirk
Would pretend to be simple, then smirk.
He’d rant and he’d rave.
He’d act chicken, then brave–
Seems the fellow was simply a jerk.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Happy “National Donut Day” (1st Friday of June)
Thursday, June 4th, 2015I swear I’m not making this headline up: “SI Swimsuit Models on National Donut Day.”
Makes sense, cuz after all when you think “donuts,” you think “swimsuit models.”
On the other hand, tomorrow (the first Friday in June) really is National Donut Day. So I figured I’d celebrate with a somewhat more apt stereotype:
“I’m famished — need something to eat,”
Said a cop who was walking the beat.
“My last donut was noon.
I need sustenance soon.
Make it something that’s sugar-replete.”
Holiday Tip (Limerick)
Thursday, May 21st, 2015Holiday Tip (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m presenting a holiday tip.
No it’s not what you think. Get a grip!
It is Waitstaff Day. See?
And I’m sure you’ll agree
That those folks deserve more than this quip.
(National Waitstaff Day — May 21)
Knackered Limerick
Sunday, March 15th, 2015Knackered
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A laggard was wearing a placard,
But not moving — the fellow was knackered.
His excuse was he ate
Lots of sweets on a date.
It appears he was overly snackered.
How NOT To Butter Up Your Waiter (Limerick)
Wednesday, February 25th, 2015How NOT To Butter Up Your Waiter (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
When given some butter — a dollop,
She said “More, and don’t loll! Hurry! Lollop!”
On the waiter’s return
With a butter-filled urn,
She threw the urn, earning a wallop.
Limerick Ode To Pyro-Gourmaniacs
Thursday, January 15th, 2015Attention Pyro-Gourmaniacs! Are you all ready for Hot And Spicy Food Day? (January 16)
Limerick Ode To Pyro-Gourmaniacs
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Since my taste favors flavors that hurt,
“It’s not spicy enough,” I’ll assert,
As I dive for the water,
Which worsens the slaughter;
Can’t save taste buds for sav’ry dessert.
Limerick Ode To “Homemade Bread Day” (Nov. 17)
Monday, November 17th, 2014Limerick Ode To Homemade Bread Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It is Homemade Bread Day, but don’t make me.
Even future bread begs, “Please don’t bake me!”
I’m not good with a stove;
Don’t know clover, from clove.
In the kitchen my brain cells forsake me.
Limerick Grub (Limerick-Off Monday)
Saturday, November 1st, 2014It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was grabbing some grub…*
or
A fellow would frequently grub…*
or
A scientist studied a grub…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Grub
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A cabby was grabbing some grub
At a bar in a neighboring hub,
When he noticed his eggs
Appeared to have legs.
From now on, he’ll steer clear of this pub.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick Ode To “National Greasy Foods Day” (Oct. 25)
Saturday, October 25th, 2014Limerick Ode To “National Greasy Foods Day” (Oct. 25)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s “National Greasy Foods Day.”
What a concept! I have to say “Nay!”
Such a day sounds so cheesy.
The thought makes me queasy.
Melted brie? Hmmm, for THAT I might stray.
Limerick Ode To “National Nut Day” (October 22)
Wednesday, October 22nd, 2014Limerick Ode To National Nut Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A morsel to chew on: It’s “Nut Day,”
As opposed to, say, “Sit On Your Butt Day.”
It celebrates food—
Not the fruitcakes whose ’tude
Seems deranged, but a “Junk For Your Gut Day.”
Limerick Ode To Kale
Monday, August 4th, 2014Limerick Ode To Kale
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Woe is me! There’s a shortage of kale,”
Bitter health nuts are starting to wail.
Seems there ain’t enough seeds
To meet all their needs.
Tell you what — I’ll my own kale curtail.
Fruity Study? (Limerick)
Tuesday, July 15th, 2014Fruity Study? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though I don’t want to lead you astray,
It appears that an apple a day
Is a way to enhance
A gal’s sex life, perchance.
I’m not ribbing you. Mālum? Hooray!
According to a sex study with a rather small sample size, apples might possibly be a libido booster.
Fried Limerick
Saturday, July 12th, 2014Happy National French Fries Day (July 13.)
Fried Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I am not a big fan of French fries.
I don’t find them a sight for sore eyes.
(A sore stomach, perchance.)
Belgium fries, though, entrance.
But neither is wise for one’s thighs.
Limerick Ode To The Stove
Wednesday, June 11th, 2014Limerick Ode To The Stove
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A stove is a handy device.
For cooking, some say, it works nice.
I can’t speak to that fact,
For I don’t interact
Well with kitchens. I can, though, boil rice.
Today in Kitchen History: On June 11, 1793, Robert Haeterick was granted the first American stove patent for a stove design of cast iron.
Passover Verse
Monday, April 14th, 2014May your seder be lovely,
A holiday treat.
May it not be too late
Till you finally eat.
Happy Passover to all who celebrate it!
Strained Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)
Saturday, April 12th, 2014NOTE: THIS IS A TWO-WEEK LIMERICK-OFF. LIMERICK SUBMISSION DEADLINE IS SATURDAY, APRIL 26, 2014
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
Please note that due to the holidays, this Limerick-Off will run for two weeks, instead of one. So I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner two weeks from today, on April 27, 2014, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full two weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 26, 2014 at 11 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
And since you’ll have two weeks, I’m offering you a topical alternative: In addition to your regular challenge, you may write a limerick related to any April holiday, using any first line. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best holiday-related limerick.
And now, getting back to your regular Limerick-Off challenge, I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman whose budget was strained…*
or
A singer whose voice sounded strained…*
or
A fellow had struggled and strained…*
or
A woman whose mood was restrained…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Strained Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A chef who had struggled and strained
To serve noteworthy food appeared drained:
“I’m losing my shirt,”
He said, scarfing dessert.
Seems his rep (and his shirt) had been stained.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
UPDATE: July 25th is National Culinarians’ Day.
Just Deserts (Limerick)
Wednesday, March 26th, 2014Just Deserts (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“It’s home-made” is just one of those lines
Often used after everyone dines,
And they’re serving dessert.
That’s when guests ought not blurt:
“Tell the truth; it’s a mix — ‘Duncan Hines.'”
Happy birthday to Duncan Hines — author, food critic, and founder of the company that bears his name. (March 26, 1880 – March 15, 1959)
(You might think that I use mixes; I couldn’t possibly comment.)
Limerick Ode To Poultry Day (March 19)
Wednesday, March 19th, 2014Happy Poultry Day!
Limerick Ode To Poultry Day (March 19)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The chickens and turkeys squawk, “Beat it!”
But they’re looking a wee bit defeated.
Though it’s Poultry Day, true,
It’s a day those birds rue,
Cuz the way we rejoice … is to eat it.
