Happy National Chopsticks Day! (February 6)
Eating East Asian food drives me nuts.
The reason? Alas, I’m a klutz
And am dreadful with chopsticks;
I frequently drop sticks…
So must stick to a fork like a putz.
Posts Tagged ‘February Holidays’
Limerick Ode To Chopsticks
Saturday, February 6th, 2016Happy “Take A Cruise Day!” (Limerick)
Wednesday, February 3rd, 2016For some inexplicable reason, today’s “Take A Cruise Day,” which is my excuse for this limerick:
While a fellow was off on a cruise,
He smoked grass and kept knocking back booze.
“When I’m seasick,” he said,
“Weed and hootch soothe my head.
And I’d rather be woozy from wooze*.”
* “Wooze” is slang for the combination of weed and booze.
Limerick Ode To Pluto
Monday, July 13th, 2015With all the renewed attention on Pluto, I’m hoping it will be re-designated a planet instead of a measly “dwarf planet.”
I often like staring at stars
And at planets, like Venus and Mars.
How I pity poor Pluto–
’Twas given the boot — oh
To be “plutoed” must surely leave scars.
Pluto Day is February 18th, in honor of its discovery on that day in 1930 at Lowell Observatory in Flagstaff, Arizona, by astronomer Clyde W. Tombaugh.
Staten Island Chuck the Groundhog Lives (Limerick)
Monday, February 2nd, 2015There’s been a Groundhog Day rules change at the Staten Island Zoo, in the wake of last year’s groundhog death at the klutzy hands of Mayor Bill de Blasio:
Staten Island Chuck the Groundhog Lives (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Seems the zoos of New York had their fill
Of Mayor-caused Groundhog Day-kill.
Last year’s groundhog is dead,
So “no holding,” they said.
“We are Chucking your touching rights, Bill.”
Limerick Ode to “I Love My Dentist Day”
Monday, June 2nd, 2014Brace yourself for “I Love My Dentist Day.” (June 2nd)
Limerick Ode to “I Love My Dentist Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Some holidays offer delight,
And others are likely to bite:
Love My Dentist Day’s one
That is NOT packed with fun,
So I brush the day off like a mite.
(You might also enjoy my Dental Deal and my Biting Limerick.)
And don’t forget about National Toothache Day (February 9th) and Dentists Day (March 6th.)
Presidents Day Limerick
Monday, February 17th, 2014Presidents Day Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s Presidents Day. Zut alors!
Does anyone know what it’s for?
I’m not sure, but I’d guess
It’s meant to address
The need for more sales at each store.
Note from Mad Kane: I blame the champagne.
Post-Valentine’s Day Ode
Saturday, February 15th, 2014Post-Valentine’s Day Ode
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Shoveling snow–
Not my favorite chore.
Mark did it for me.
That’s what marriage is for.
Grouchy Limerick
Saturday, February 16th, 2013Happy “Do A Grouch A Favor Day!” (February 16th)
Grouchy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I don’t like being seen as a slouch,
But I’d rather not help out a grouch.
I’m not holding a grudge,
But I still will not budge.
Oh okay, you may sit on my couch.
Crawling With Gift Ideas (Limerick)
Thursday, February 14th, 2013Crawling With Gift Ideas (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s too late for a Valentine’s broach?
Need a holiday gift plan to poach?
Well, here’s something new
From the helpful Bronx Zoo:
Give your sweetie her name on a roach.
From the Bronx Zoo, a strange and limited Valentine’s Day Offer:
Can’t decide on what to get that special someone for Valentine’s Day? Sometimes the answer is all around us, and right where it’s been for millions of years—like cockroaches!
Naming a Madagascar hissing roach in honor of someone near and dear to your heart shows that you’ve noticed how resilient, resourceful, and loyal that person is. You’re not afraid to say, “Baby, you’re a roach!”
WCS’s Bronx Zoo has 58,000 of these brown, iridescent beauties, and most go humbly by “whatchamacallit.” With a $10 donation, you can name one for your sweetie, and send a truly unique certificate of honor.
Limerick Ode To National Bagel Day
Thursday, February 7th, 2013Is everybody ready for National Bagel Day? What about National Bagels & Lox Day? Whatever you want to call it, it’s celebrated on February 9th.
Limerick Ode To National Bagel Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Is “Bagel Day” fun, or just folly?
I suppose it makes bagel fans jolly,
Served with lox and cream cheese,
Maybe onion, but jeez,
I would rather just have a bialy.
Limerick Ode To Groundhog Day
Saturday, February 2nd, 2013Limerick Ode To Groundhog Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s an animal hogging the news
And casting a shadow on views.
It’s the groundhog, of course:
Our annual source
Of featherbrained seasonal clues.
Happy Groundhog Day! (February 2nd.) And for more groundhog poetry, visit DVerse Poets.
Happy World Animal Day (3 Endangered Animal Limericks)
Wednesday, October 3rd, 2012In Honor Of World Animal Day, celebrated annually on October 4th, here are three endangered species limericks: Limerick Odes to the Tasmanian Forester Roo, the Hippopotamus, and the African Wild Ass. (I previously posted my Rhino limerick, which is included in the International Poetry Anthology For Rhino in a Shrinking World.)
Limerick Ode To The Tasmanian Forester Roo
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Tasmanian Forester Roo
Is endangered. So here’s what to do:
Sign petitions. Give cash.
Host a fund-raising bash,
Else its time on this earth will be through.
Limerick Ode To The Hippopotamus
By Madeleine Begun Kane
When I look at a hippo I wonder:
What’s the size of its herbivore plunder?
At three point five tons,
It clearly outguns
Any crops as it tears them asunder.
Limerick Ode To The African Wild Ass
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The African Wild Ass, alas,
Is at risk. It may soon come to pass
That the last one dies out.
It’s endangered, no doubt.
This horse-cousin may vanish en masse.
UPDATE: February 15 is Hippo Day and Endangered Species Day falls on the third Friday of May.
Limerick Ode to “I Love My Dentist Day”
Thursday, May 31st, 2012Brace yourself! I Love My Dentist Day is coming on June 2nd:
Limerick Ode to “I Love My Dentist Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It seems “I Love My Dentist Day’s” here
On June 2, but I simply can’t cheer.
Toothless days like that bite!
I can take no delight
In a guy who spurs fear with his gear.
(You might also enjoy my Dental Deal and my Biting Limerick.)
UPDATE: Happy National Toothache Day! (celebrated yearly on February 9th) And happy Dentists Day! (celebrated yearly on March 6th)
Limerick Invention
Thursday, May 10th, 2012DVerse Poets asks us to wax poetic about machine dreams:
Limerick Invention
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow invented an app
That fills a technology gap:
It gives you a pinch
If your boss starts to inch
Near your desk, while you’re taking a nap.
(You can find more of my technology humor here.)
UPDATE: February 28 is National Public Sleeping Day.
UPDATE 2: National Napping Day is the second Monday of March (the Monday after DST.)
Show-Off Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)
Sunday, April 1st, 2012It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was trying to show…*
or
A woman was trying to show…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Show-Off Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was trying to show
He was savvy, refined, in the know.
But he blew it one night —
An embarrassing sight:
He mistook Pinot Noir for Bordeaux.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Update: Happy Drink Wine Day! (February 18th)
Limerick Ode To National Margarita Day
Tuesday, February 21st, 2012February 22, 2012 is National Margarita Day! (Perversely enough, it’s also World Thinking Day.)
But I’d rather write a limerick about margaritas:
Limerick Ode To National Margarita Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Margarita Day’s here, so Olé!
Send agave tequila my way.
Don’t need worms or a mix
For a spirited fix.
Add some juice, triple sec. Make my day!
Valentine’s Day Limerick and Haiku Too
Tuesday, February 14th, 2012Yet Another Valentine’s Day Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
St. Valentine’s Day can be risky
Cuz the men folk do tend to get frisky.
And watch out for the pious:
They sure like to try us
Before and yes after their whiskey.
*****
St. Valentine’s Day
may be over in theory–
never in spirit.
