Posts Tagged ‘Exercise Humor’
Saturday, January 13th, 2024
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using GRAND at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to COACHES, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best COACH-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
GRIP, LUSH, PROMISING, SEARCH, YARN.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on February 11, 2024, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 10, 2024 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my GRAND-Rhyme Limerick:
A grandstanding fellow named Mel
Plays the piano, but not very well.
His recital was panned:
“He abused that poor grand
And deserves a life sentence in hell.”
And here’s my COACH-Themed Limerick:
“Don’t sit like a bump on a log,”
Said the coach. “Shake a leg. Maybe jog.
If you want to get fit,
It’s time to show grit,
And skip all the eggnog and grog.”
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
While reciting a tale, Dan said “Darn!
I’ve forgotten the end of this yarn,
Which (I promise) is gripping.
It features unzipping
And (maybe) a cow in a barn.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Coaches Humor, Competition Limerick, Exercise Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Music Humor, Piano Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Reviewers Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Exercise Humor, Light Verse Contest, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Music Reviews, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 121 Comments »
Wednesday, December 13th, 2023
Notwithstanding this limerick, I do stretching exercises daily:
It’s important to stretch, so I’m told.
Some claim it fights pain when you’re old.
I prefer not to kvetch,
But that feels like a stretch…
Though with luck, it might fend off a cold.
(“National Stretching Day” falls on December 11th.)
Tags: December Holidays, Exercise Humor, Exercise Limerick, Odd Holidays, Stretching, Stretching Day, Stretching Humor
Posted in Exercise Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Stressed About Stretching? (Limerick)
Monday, November 13th, 2023
An athlete ran nude down the street
And was caught by the cops — no mean feat.
He explained (all erect)
“‘Twas a test to detect
If detectives on foot can be fleet.”
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Cops & Police, Crime Humor, Crime Limerick, Exercise Humor, Exercise Limerick, Jogging, Nudity, Nudity Humor, Nudity Limerick, Running
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Crime & Punishment Humor, Exercise Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Outdoors Humor | Comments Off on An Athletic Test (Limerick)
Wednesday, June 21st, 2023
This headline reminded me that today (June 21) is International Day Of Yoga: “International Yoga Day: PM Modi leads celebrations at UN Headquarters in New York”.
So it’s time for yet another yoga-related limerick:
I used to do yoga most days.
It was more than a health-conscious phase.
But I did it MY way;
Certain moves were a NAY
To avoid setting bad wrists ablaze.
Tags: Exercise Humor, Health Limericks, International Day of Yoga, International Yoga Day, June Holidays, Mental Health Humor, Odd Holidays, PM Modi, Relaxation Humor, Sports Limerick, Stress Humor, United Nations, World Yoga Day, Yoga Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Celebrations Poetry, Celebrity Humor, Exercise Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Happy Yoga Day! (Limerick)
Saturday, April 22nd, 2023
Last weekend, we took a short stroll
To a mini-golf range — a fun goal,
Though I CAN’T aim at all;
Ended up with no ball,
Its location, alas, a black hole.
Tags: Exercise Humor, Exercise Limerick, Golf Humor, Golf Limerick, Outdoors Humor, Outdoors Limerick, Sports Humor, Sports Limerick, Walking Humor, Walking Limerick, Walking Poetry
Posted in Clumsiness Humor, Exercise Humor, Limericks, Outdoors Humor, Sports Humor, Walking Humor | Comments Off on Mini-Golf Madness (Limerick)
Saturday, May 14th, 2022
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using WIRE at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to WATER, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best WATER-related limerick.
And if all that isn’t enough, I’m adding an EXTRA, EXPERIMENTAL LIMERICK CHALLENGE TODAY! If it works out well, it may become an occasional, or perhaps even a regular Limerick-Off feature:
I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
RETIRE, ARROGANT, MISCREANT, SHOES, THINK.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on May 29, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, May 28, 2022, at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my WIRE-rhyme limerick:
This disbursement is urgent. It’s dire!
If it’s late, there’s no quelling the ire
Of a violent man
With a life-or-death plan.
Send it pronto. It’s down to the wire.
Here’s my WATER-themed limerick:
“The first time I jogged wasn’t fun.
I was parched when I’d barely begun;
I’d forgotten to heed
The “must bring water” creed
So, alas, ’twas a dreadful dry run.”
And here is my own RANDOM WORDS GENERATOR Limerick:
I think that my arrogant boss
Should retire already. No loss
Would be felt by his staff
We would all simply laugh,
Throw a party and roast him with sauce.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bad Bosses, Boss Humor, Competition Limerick, Crime & Punishment Humor, Dry Humor, Exercise Humor, Jogging Humor, Jogging Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Random Words, Random Words Generator, Running Humor, Running Limerick, Thirst Humor, Urgency Humor, Urgency Limerick, Water Humor, Water Limerick, Wire Humor, Wire Limerick, Workplace & Career Humor, Workplace Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Crime & Punishment Humor, Exercise Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Workplace & Career Humor | 159 Comments »
Saturday, September 15th, 2018
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using HOLE or WHOLE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SCHOOL SUPPLIES, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best SCHOOL SUPPLIES-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on September 30, 2018, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, September 29, 2018 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A fellow went out for a stroll,
Healthy exercise largely his goal.
He encountered a hitch,
Falling down in a ditch.
Not too healthy that walk, on the (w)hole.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Exercise Humor, Health, Health Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Exercise Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 170 Comments »
Saturday, June 23rd, 2018
It’s Hydration Day. Do not forget:
It’s important to keep your bod wet.
On the inside, I mean,
And not booze or caffeine.
Drinking water replenishes sweat.
Tags: Exercise Humor, Hydration Day, June Holidays, Odd Holidays, Sweat Humor, Water Humor
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Happy Hydration Day (Limerick)
Saturday, June 20th, 2015
The U.N. has decreed June 21 to be International Day Of Yoga … which gives me a handy excuse to post this silly limerick:
A gal doing yoga while dressed
In a toga, when questioned, confessed
That her garb did not work—
Turned her poses berserk.
So instead of relaxed, she was stressed.
Tags: Clothing Humor, Exercise Humor, Health Limericks, International Day of Yoga, International Yoga Day, June Holidays, Mental Health Humor, Odd Holidays, Relaxation Humor, Stress Humor, Toga Humor, Yoga Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Celebrations Poetry, Clothing Humor, Exercise Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Odd Holidays, Physical Appearance | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, January 13th, 2015
Yoga Tale (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A student was learning a stretch
From her yoga instructor — a lech
Who made passes in classes;
He loved fetching asses.
A class action’s been filed v. that wretch.
*****
View my Yoga Tale Limerick image here.
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Class Actions, Exercise Humor, Lascivious Humor, Lecherous Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick Images, Litigation Humor, Yoga Humor, Yoga Limerick
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Education & School Humor, Exercise Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Thursday, October 9th, 2014
Python Massage? What Kind Of Snake Oil Are They Selling? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A python massage? Thanks, but no!
It’s relaxing, you claim? I say whoa!
If it’s torture I’m after
(Now please hold your laughter)
Then off to the gym I shall go.
If you want a complimentary python massage, all you have to do is visit the Philippines Zoo.
Tags: Exercise Humor, Massage Humor, Philippines Zoo, Python Massage, Pythons, Relaxation Humor, Snake Limericks, Zoo humor
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Exercise Humor, Limericks, Travel Humor | 1 Comment »
Thursday, May 15th, 2014
May 16th is National Bike to Work Day. Of course, some rides work out better than others:
A Spousal Ride (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Spousal nagging pushed hubby to strike
Some balance by riding a bike.
But when ego and ass
Took a beating, alas,
He told biking and wife, “Take a hike!”
Tags: Bicycle Limerick, Bike Humor, Exercise Humor, Husband Wife Limerick, Marriage Verse, Outdoor Activity Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Exercise Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Outdoors Humor | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, August 6th, 2013
Wiggle Your Toes Day (August 6th) isn’t quite as silly as it sounds:
Limerick Ode To Wiggle Your Toes Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Since I’d like both my feet to obey,
I must exercise each ev’ry day:
I wiggle my toes,
Rotate heels — heaven knows
It looks lame, but forestalls foot decay.
Tags: Exercise Humor, Feet Humor, Foot Limerick, Health Limericks, Odd Holidays, Toes Humor, Wiggle Your Toes Day
Posted in Exercise Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Odd Holidays | 1 Comment »
Thursday, July 25th, 2013
Limerick Ode To A Stimulating Ride
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If a bike rider seems too elated–
First euphoric, than seemingly sated,
I suspect that her seat
May be vibrating heat,
And that she and her seat cover mated.
Note from Mad Kane: Yes, you can really add excitement to your bike trips with a “Happy Ride” Seat Cover. Apparently it does pretty much what you’d expect it to do.
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Bicycle Limerick, Bike Humor, Exercise Humor, Happy Ride, Outdoors Humor, Sex Humor, Sex Toys
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Exercise Humor, Limericks, Outdoors Humor, Sports Humor | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, June 5th, 2013
Happy National Running Day, celebrated yearly on the first Wednesday in June.
Limerick Ode To National Running Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My joints tend to creak when I walk.
My knees will lock up and then squawk.
I’ll keep shunning my running,
But watching is stunning!
So I hope you won’t mind if I gawk.
Tags: Athletics, Exercise Humor, Health Limericks, Jogging Humor, Joints, June Holidays, Knees, Marathon Humor, National Running Day, Odd Holidays, Physical Fitness Humor, Running Humor
Posted in Exercise Humor, Gym Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Outdoors Humor | 2 Comments »
Thursday, March 29th, 2012
Yoga’s been in the news quite a bit lately. Is it good for you? Is it bad for you? Should you purchase some fancy yoga garb and skip the actual yoga?
But the oddest story so far is this one about naked yoga classes in South Park Slope, Brooklyn, New York.
Nude Yoga? Yikes!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Take a yoga class naked? How scary!
I confess that the thought makes me wary.
Yes I’ll gladly condone
Nude yoga alone.
But in public? I’m sorry. Too hairy.
(If you’re in Brooklyn and want to study yoga in a more modest fashion, check out my niece’s Crown Heights Fitness.)
Related Posts: A Fountain Of Face-Yoga Youth? and Yoga For What?
Tags: Attire Verse, Clothing Poem, Education Limerick, Exercise Humor, Health Limerick, Naked Limerick, New Age, Nudity, Yoga, Yoga Humor
Posted in Exercise Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, New Age Humor, Physical Appearance, Sports Humor | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, March 23rd, 2011
Limerick Ode To A Vigorous Old Lady
By Madeleine Begun Kane
An old grandma with spring in her walk
Moved so quickly that people would gawk.
When asked if a gym
Was the source of her vim
She said, “No — Jim, Kim, Henry and Hawk.”
(Posted at this spring prompt and at Poetic Asides’ spring prompt.)
UPDATE: July 23 is Gorgeous Grandma Day.
Tags: Aging Humor & Verse, Energy Verse, Exercise Humor, Gorgeous Grandma Day, Gym Membership, Health Poetry, July Holidays, Odd Holidays, Seniors Humor, Vim And Vigor, Walking, Wordplay Humor
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Exercise Humor, Gym Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Light Verse, Limericks, Odd Holdays, Physical Appearance, Relationship Humor, Seniors Poetry, Walking Humor, Wordplay | 8 Comments »
Thursday, January 27th, 2011
Who needs to join a gym when you own a home in New York and experience … pardon my French … winter! Cardio? Check. Muscle building? Check. Seriously, there’s nothing quite like lifting a snow-packed shovel way over my head in my quest for a place to dump the damn stuff. I’m talking mountains of snow, some of it still lingering from December.
That brings me to my wintry mix of limericks:
I Need A Landlord, STAT
By Madeleine Begun Kane
While owning a home can be nice,
It isn’t all sugar and spice:
After snow and ice falls
There’s no landlord for calls
About shov’ling. That’s part of the price.
Lamentable Weather
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I know that it sounds like I’m wailing,
But it’s thund’ring and lightening and hailing.
It was snowing all day.
Now an ice storm? Okay,
It’s official. Can’t take it. I’m bailing.
Tags: Exercise Humor, Gym Membership, Health Limericks, Home Ownership, Ice Storms, Landlord Tenant Humor, New York City Verse, Shoveling Snow, Weather Humor, Weather Poem, Winter Humor
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, House & Home Humor, Limericks, New York Limericks & Haiku, Outdoors Humor, Seasons Humor, Weather Humor | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, January 5th, 2011
Big Tent Poetry prompts us to write poems about feet this week. My pal Amanda’s already composed one. So, why not a limerick?
Feet Trouble Afoot
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I can’t always rely on my feet.
When I dance, they say “Please take a seat!”
Though I stretch ’em and bend ’em,
I can’t seem to mend ’em.
Of foot, I confess, I’m not fleet.
Tags: Ballroom Dance, Exercise Humor, Feet Humor, Foot Limerick, Health Poetry, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Dance Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | 14 Comments »
Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman succumbed to a whim…
Here’s mine:
Whimsical Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman succumbed to a whim
And enrolled in an overpriced gym.
She tried free weights, machines,
Even yoga for teens,
Till she ran out of money and vim.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Exercise Humor, Gym Membership, Health Club Humor, Health Limerick, Money Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Whimsy Verse, Writing Prompts, Yoga
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Gym Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor, Sports Humor | 23 Comments »
