It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:
Assuming the posture of lotus,
Buddha lifted his voice to give notice:
“You may chant on this knoll
If it pleases your soul —
But you’re gone if your mantra is ‘POTUS.’”
Congratulations to STEVE BENKO, who wins the Special WEAPON-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:
Said Lizzy, “I’m grabbing an axe,
And my mother I’ll give 40 whacks.
Though that may seem uncouth,
I’ve discovered the truth:
She writes checks to Republican PACs.”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tim James, Sjaan VandenBroeder, Elaine Person, Janice Power, Brian Allgar, Dave Johnson, Tony Holmes, and Steve Benko. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
HONORABLE MENTIONS (“SOLE/SOUL” RHYME DIVISION)
Tim James:
Asked the sage of his student: “Young soul,
How is Donald J. Trump like a mole?”
Well, the boy was wise too
And his answer was true:
“Both their heads are lodged deep in a hole.”
Sjaan VandenBroeder:
“Though your homophones, Oscar, are droll,”
Mused Richard, “this piece on the whole…
Well, I like ti with bread,
But a note ‘pulling thread’?
Any chance you might brighten up sol?”
Elaine Person:
I just met a cool man named Cole,
Who played his guitar with great soul.
He asked, “Do you play?”
I replied, “In what way?”
For I had a non-music goal.
Tim James:
Many years from now, Trump bares his soul:
“I regret that I lost all control.
I renounce my bad acts!”
But it’s time to face facts:
There’s no WAY that he’s making parole.
Janice Power:
Making devil’s food cake was her goal;
On her fate, though, it took quite a toll.
For this offer she took
From the demon’s cookbook:
“For my recipe, sell me your soul.”
Brian Allgar:
The fish swam around in a shoal.
God was angry, and told them: “Your role
Should be worshipping Me!”
They said: “As you can see,
We’re sardines, and we don’t have a sole.”
Sjaan VandenBroeder:
Three fiddlers who knew Old King Cole,
Scoffed, “THIS guy? A merry old soul?
You should see what an ass
He can be without grass,
So we fill up his pipe and his bowl.”
Brian Allgar:
Since “God’s Chosen One” is his role,
Well, of course Donald Trump has “a soul.”
But there’s one little twist:
Theologians insist
That it should be pronounced as “asshole.”
Dave Johnson:
Some researchers have a new goal:
Determine if Trump has a soul.
One summed it up best:
“It’s an arduous quest;
We’re combing a bottomless hole.”
Tony Holmes:
In denial, Dad spurned self-control,
And repeatedly loaded his bowl;
But it wasn’t the fries
That secured his demise,
But a hook that was left in the sole.
HONORABLE MENTIONS (WEAPONS LIMERICK DIVISION)
Sjaan VandenBroeder:
There’s a reason I’ve no wish to trifle
With the likes of a pistol or rifle:
My aim’s more impressive
When passive-aggressive.
(More conspicuous urges, I stifle.)
Steve Benko:
Said Oog, “Me go hunt now with spear.”
But his wife said, “You full of lies, dear.
What you call ‘business trip’
Is excuse; I am hip
To what means your Neanderthal leer.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
