A woman was stunned and aghast
On learning her husband’s dark past.
Seems the man had a sheet
That was long and replete
With crimes both severe and half-assed.
So she threw her spouse out on the street
With the help of two lawyers elite.
(For divorce, they were tops!)
No surprise that the cops
Now have murder to add to his sheet.
“Wet clothes in the hamper? That’s foul!”
Said a gal to her spouse, with a scowl.
“What is wrong with you men!?
If you do it again,
I’ll divorce you and throw in the towel.”
Although I share this woman’s fondness for cold sake, this limerick ISN’T about me. (Happy Sake Day!)
“No wonder our marriage was rocky;
All my ex does is eat and watch hockey.
And the chip on his shoulder
Is big as a boulder…
Plus Milwaukee has lousy cold sake.”
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using QUEST or REQUEST or BEQUEST at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to TIMING, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best TIMING-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on June 27, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, June 26, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my QUEST or REQUEST or BEQUEST-rhyme two-verse limerick:
A man was consumed and obsessed
With his passionate study of EST.
He threatened divorce
In order to force
His spouse to embrace the same quest.His wife in response said, “You’re mad!
And that fad’s turned you into a cad.
It’s controlling your mind.
We’re no longer aligned.
Quit that cult, or I’ll marry your dad.”
And here’s my TIMING-themed limerick:
A pianist who hailed from Venango
Was teaching while munching a mango.
“Your timing is off,”
She said with a scoff:
“It’s a waltz in 3/8; NOT a tango!”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using GROWN or GROAN at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to DIVORCE, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best DIVORCE-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on April 7, 2019, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 6, 2019 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
Whenever a fellow would nap
His collie would leap on his lap.
Then he’d groan and he’d moan.
(The dog was full-grown.)
How he longed for a dog-warning app.
And here’s my Divorce-themed limerick:
Although “civil,” it’s certain to vex
And is rarely divorced from bad sex.
It takes courtrooms and cash,
Zealous Esqs who are brash:
It’s converting your spouse to an ex.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Remorseful Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was feeling remorse
About taking an ill-advised course:
He’d married a gal
Who was also his pal,
Before he’d secured a divorce.
In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve become hooked on writing acrostic limericks, largely due to prompts from Acrostics Only.
Married To Acrostic Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Asunder we never shall be,”
Promised Dean to his bride-to-be Bree.
At the altar his vow
Reassured her, but now
They’re divorced via legal decree.
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
