Posts Tagged ‘David Lefkovits’
Sunday, November 27th, 2011
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mentions:
Congratulations to ROBERT SCHECHTER who wins Limerick of the Week for this clever verse:
A man was attempting to eat
A taco he bought on the street.
He’s someone I follow
On Twitter. Each swallow
Was widely proclaimed in a tweet.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order): David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, Johanna Richmond, David McCormick a/k/a AdamantYves, and Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:
A man was attempting to eat
At Le Restaurant Jean B. Lafitte,
But his face became pallid
When part of the salad
Got up and walked off on six feet.
Johanna Richmond:
A man was attempting to eat
When his wife hollered out, “Trick or treat!”
It was then he took note
She held open her tote,
So he thoughtfully offered his meat.
David McCormick a/k/a AdamantYves:
A gal was attempting to eat
A length of spaghetti – six feet;
She forgot that to coil it
She’d first have to boil it,
Now she’s had to move up from petite.
Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith:
A fellow was trying to eat
Things acquired from a bet. He’d been beat!
They divided a cow.
The lost bet explains how
She got steaks, he got teats and de feet.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
Tags: David Lefkovits, David McCormick, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Of The Week, Phyllis Sterling Smith, Robert Schechter, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest | 6 Comments »
Sunday, October 16th, 2011
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mentions:
Congratulations to JANE SHELTON HOFFMAN who wins Limerick of the Week for this clever verse:
A fellow at work on a case
Dressed his client in white pearls and lace.
But her prints on the gun
Proved she was the one.
“Burn in hell!” shrieked the host Nancy Grace.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, David McCormick a/k/a AdamantYves, Johanna Richmond, and Rachel Hoyt a/k/a Rhyme Me A Smile. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:
A woman at work on a case
Of a guy who was gone with no trace
Was intrigued by the clue
That his sexy wife, Sue,
Wore a satisfied smirk on her face.
David McCormick:
A fellow at work on a case
Yelled, “What hamfister sketched out this face?!
“Suspect’s eyes/ears transposed?!
“Two-tone lips?! Double-nosed?!” …
“Name’s Picasso, he’s new round the place.”
Johanna Richmond:
A fellow at work on a case
Galactic’ly tumbled from grace:
Through judicial robe zipper
Out slipped the big dipper
When “All rise!” reverbed through the place
Rachel Hoyt a/k/a Rhyme Me A Smile: (related news story)
A woman at work on a case
Had Batman show up at her place.
Said he saw in the sky
The bat signal (no lie)
But she just didn’t trust his thin face.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
Tags: David Lefkovits, David McCormick, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Of The Week, Rachel Hoyt, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week | 6 Comments »
Saturday, September 24th, 2011
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mentions:
Congratulations to RJ CLARKEN who wins Limerick of the Week for this very clever verse:
A guy who was fast on his feet
Courted courtesan gal Marguerite.
He danced her, romanced her
And then he unpantsed her.
Camille? Il est très bittersweet.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Jane Shelton Hoffman, Earlybird, Scott Crowder, Daisy Mae Simon, and David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A guy who was fast on his feet
Was viewed as a sexual treat.
But the ladies agreed
His incredible speed
Disappointed them under the sheet.
Earlybird:
A gal who was fast on her feet
Decided to learn how to tweet.
Her fingers are fitter
From learning to Twitter.
But she never gets up from her seat.
Scott Crowder:
A guy who was fast on his feet,
Took the sportscaster gal to his suite,
And made hot, dirty love,
With the soon to be Guv.
Just a wild mama grizzly in heat.
Daisy Mae Simon:
A guy who is fast on his feet
Will appear on TV to compete
Despite onemillionmoms
Raising outrageous qualms.
A huge win for Chaz B. would be sweet!
David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:
A gal who was fast on her feet,
When caught in a clinch indiscreet,
Said: “My dear, I am told
That the cure for a cold
Is to heighten one’s bodily heat.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
Tags: Daisy Mae Simon, David Lefkovits, Earlybird, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Limerick Of The Week, RJ Clarken, Scott Crowder, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week | 6 Comments »
Sunday, July 3rd, 2011
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. (This limerick challenge apparently got you all fired up because your submissions were unusually strong.) I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mentions:
Congratulations to ALTONIAN who wins Limerick of the Week for this very clever verse:
A fellow was playing with fire
When asked to milk cows in the byre.
He gave a great pull.
‘Twas no cow but a bull.
That’s how you end up in the mire.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Johanna Richmond, David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, Jane Shelton Hoffman, and Altonian. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Johanna Richmond: (Two Honorable Mentions for Johanna this week)
A woman was playing with fire
When she sought to rekindle desire;
Though she turned up the heat
Sex was strictly Dutch Treat;
Seems her man didn’t like to perspire.
Johanna Richmond:
Old Midas was playing with fire
By insulting the guy on the lyre;
When that guy is Apollo,
Best shut up and follow
Or donkey ears you shall acquire.
David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:
A fellow was playing with fire
In transferring money by wire
In hundreds of G’s
To a bank in Belize,
Where he secretly hoped to retire.
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A fellow was playing with fire
And burned down the church in his shire.
When Robin Hood came,
He said, “I’m not to blame!
It must have been your friend, the friar!”
Altonian: (A double win for Altonian too)
A woman was playing with fire
When she thought she was all men’s desire.
She tried vamping one day
With a man who was gay
It was easy for him to deny her.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
Tags: Altonian, David Lefkovits, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Of The Week, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limericks | 6 Comments »
Sunday, June 26th, 2011
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mentions:
Congratulations to BRENDA BRYANT a/k/a Rinkly Rimes who wins Limerick of the Week for this very amusing verse:
A gal who could never say no
Said ‘Come on! Don’t be shy, Romeo!’
She was eager to please
Even on a trapeze!
Which was great for the folk down below!
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Johanna Richmond, Scott Crowder, David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, and Vivienne Blake. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Johanna Richmond:
A man who could never say no
Frenetically dashed to and fro;
With a mistress and wife
He had double the strife
Kissing two butts – a tough row to hoe.
Scott Crowder:
A man who could never say no
To pork chops and raw cookie dough,
Made me whisper “Oh, Lord,”
When he wobbled on board,
“I hope he don’t sit in my row.”
David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:
A man who could never say no
To the urges that came from below
Was finally defeated,
When thousands retweeted
His self-composed, solo tableau.
Vivienne Blake:
A gal who could never say no
Married ten at a time, dontcha know.
Polyandry her crime,
She had to do time.
It was worth it, she loved ‘em all so.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
Tags: Brenda Bryant, David Lefkovits, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Of The Week, Scott Crowder, Vivienne Blake, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limericks | 7 Comments »
Sunday, June 12th, 2011
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. Competition was extra strong this week, and I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mentions:
Congratulations to VERSEBENDER who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
Had a spread in a big magazine.
But the shoot turned out lewd
‘Cause he cooked in the nude.
Some utensils are best left unseen.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Lynette Killam, Lewis Evans, David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, Johanna Richmond, and Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Lynette Killam:
A woman who loved fine cuisine
Gave up struggling to keep herself lean.
She finally said,
“I’ll be thin when I’m dead…
I’d much rather be chubby than mean!”
Lewis Evans:
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
Was a cereal killing machine.
His obsession with grits
Rendered turbo-charged shits,
Wasting all who passed by his latrine.
David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
While camping with mujahedeen
Would freshly bake scones
While running from drones
And filling up flasks with benzene.
Johanna Richmond:
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
When served subpar supper, got mean;
His waitress, fed up,
Snarled, “Go elsewhere to sup;
Sir, our liver don’t merit your spleen!”
Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith:
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
When tipping was stingy and mean.
“My custom is still
Two percent of the bill.”
The spit in his soup went unseen.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
Tags: David Lefkovits, Johanna Richmond, Lewis Evans, Limerick Of The Week, Lynette Killam, Phyllis Sterling Smith, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limericks | 6 Comments »
Sunday, May 29th, 2011
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and four Honorable Mentions:
Congratulations to PATRICK MCGUIRE who wins Limerick of the Week for this charming verse:
A fellow went out on a date
And proudly showed off his best trait.
The woman was awed
And loud did applaud,
But now she complains that she’s late.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) VerseBender, Catherine Palmer, Steve Vitoff, and David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
VerseBender:
A fellow went out on a date,
But found himself deep in debate.
You want to get kissed
Instead of dismissed?
Leave politics at the front gate.
Catherine Palmer:
A woman went out on a date
With a fellow who made her irate.
He showed up at her door
Like a john for his whore
And proceeded to ask for her rate.
Steve Vitoff:
A woman went out on a date.
But her date she began to berate.
She’d freak when he’d speak
And critique his physique.
Rest assured, they did not conjugate.
David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:
A woman went out on a date.
That started and ended at eight:
“His chiseled physique
Would render me weak,
So I’m leaving before it’s too late.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
Tags: Catherine Palmer, David Lefkovits, Limerick Of The Week, Patrick McGuire, Steve Vitoff, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week | 7 Comments »
Sunday, May 22nd, 2011
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and five Honorable Mentions:
Congratulations to JOHANNA RICHMOND who wins Limerick of the Week for this witty and timely verse:
A fellow was hatching a plot
(Cruel, evil, corrupt, dot, dot, dot);
But for once folks cried out,
Even Newt voiced his doubt;
Paul, your vouchers aint worth diddly-squat.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, Victoria Ceretto-Slotto, Earlybird, David Lefkovits a/k/a Mr. Goose, and Matty. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith:
A fellow was hatching a plot
To tutor his parrot a lot.
She not only could squawk.
In nine tongues she could talk.
She’s known as a true Polly-glot.
Victoria Ceretto-Slotto:
A fellow was hatching a plot
Involving his girlfriend named Dot.
He’d take her to Reno
and make a bambino.
Then she’d have to agree: “Tie the knot!”
Earlybird:
A woman was hatching a plot
To pepper her man with lead shot.
She thought she’d have fun
With a sawn-off shot gun,
Then boil his remains in a pot.
David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:
A woman was hatching a plot
For seducing a boy who was hot:
“I’ll have him, me thinks,
After plying with drinks
At some out-of-the-way little boîte.”
Matty:
A woman was hatching a plot
To marry a man who was hot.
When she offered a lay,
The gent walked away.
A beautiful gal she was not.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
Tags: David Lefkovits, Earlybird, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Of The Week, Matty, Phyllis Sterling Smith, Victoria Ceretto-Slotto, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week | 11 Comments »
Sunday, May 8th, 2011
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and five Honorable Mentions:
Congratulations to Robert Basler who wins Limerick of the Week for this charming, not to mention artistic, verse:
A gal had to cancel her plan
To purchase some art by Rodin.
It turned out some stinkers
Made counterfeit Thinkers
Which they sold from the back of a van.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Jane Shelton Hoffman, Johanna Richmond, Patrice Stewart a/k/a Patrice Jenine, a/k/a Patrice of the ManyCats, Ron Mardix, and David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A guy had to cancel his plan
To make love on his girlfriend’s divan.
Her parents walked in
Shouting, “This is a sin!
Get your hands off our daughter, young man!”
Johanna Richmond:
A gal had to cancel her plan
To demolish the gingerbread man
When his raisin eyes pleaded
And pink lips proceeded
To yell, “Put me back in the pan!”
Patrice Stewart a/k/a Patrice Jenine, a/k/a Patrice of the ManyCats:
A man had to cancel his plan
To relax on the beach, get a tan;
He was called in to work
(Yeah, the boss was a jerk)
So he’s still pasty white, in his van.
Ron Mardix:
A gal had to cancel her plan
To marry her boyfriend named Stan.
She has certain needs.
He “barely” succeeds.
Instead, off she ran with Sue-Ann.
David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:
A pol had to cancel his plan
For the banner beneath which he ran,
Which read that “Obama
Cannot find Osama,”
When now it appears: Yes, he can.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions. There were so many good ones, narrowing them down to the best six was big challenge.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
Tags: David Lefkovits, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Of The Week, Patrice Stewart, Robert Basler, Ron Mardix, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week | 13 Comments »
Sunday, May 1st, 2011
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and four Honorable Mentions (three single verse limericks and one multiverse limerick.)
Congratulations to DAVID LEFKOVITS a/k/a Dr. Goose who wins Limerick of the Week for this excellent limerick:
A woman who loved a good fight
Would demand, as she argued all night,
Philosophical heft
From those on the left
And empirical proof from the right.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, VerseBender, Paul Andrew Russell, and Patrice Stewart a/k/a Patrice of the ManyCats. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith:
A woman who loved a good fight
Invited to dinner one night
A catholic, a Jew,
Palestinians too.
They kissed and made up out of spite!
VerseBender:
A woman who loved a good fight
Said, “Darlin’, you know it’s all right
The reason I’m itchin’
To get in some bitchin’:
The making up part’s a delight!”
Paul Andrew Russell:
A fellow who loved a good fight
Would go on a rumble all night.
He’d punch and he’d jeer,
Fueled on gallons of beer.
Then strut off to bed at first light.
Patrice Stewart a/k/a Patrice of the ManyCats:
A fellow who loved a good fight
Took on inner demons each night.
They’d roll, tumble, wrestle,
His body the vessel ~
A bone-chilling, hair-raising sight.
He’d chortle and shout out with glee,
“You’ll not get the better of me!
Mephistopheles, please:
You’re just a big tease!
I’ll win soon, and then I’ll be free…”
He leapt, intercepted the horde,
Sharp blade sweeping down as they roared…
Came the dawn, not a peep
As he smiled, deep in sleep ~
Grasp firm on invisible sword.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions. There were so many good ones, narrowing them down to the best five was quite a challenge.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
Tags: David Lefkovits, Limerick Of The Week, Patrice Stewart, Paul Andrew Russell, Phyllis Sterling Smith, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week | 13 Comments »
Sunday, April 17th, 2011
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and five Honorable Mentions (four single verse limericks and one multiverse limerick.)
Congratulations to David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet,
When asked what she wanted to eat,
Attracted a crowd
While enthusing aloud
How she savored the taste of jerked meat.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) VerseBender, Tilly Bud, Stan Ski, Victoria Ceretto-Slotto, and Patrice Stewart a/k/a Patrice of the ManyCats. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
VerseBender:
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
Was really quite full of deceit
For under her sweater
Was nature made better
(If you like the feel of concrete)
Tilly Bud:
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
Had a terrible hunger for meat.
She ate first her brother,
Dad, sister and mother,
Then polished off folk in her street.
Stan Ski:
A girl who seemed guileless and sweet
Wrote a note on a boat in the Fleet
‘Dear Captain…’ she penned
‘Our romance must end
First we meet, then you cheat… you’re dead meat…!’
Victoria Ceretto-Slotto:
A girl who seemed guileless and sweet
on an evening of simmering heat
declared “Life is a bore;
“there’s just got to be more.”
Now you’ll find her out working the street.
Patrice Stewart a/k/a Patrice of the ManyCats:
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
For her fiancé judge, planned a treat:
Into chambers she barged
Purring, “Guilty, as charged!”
Doffed her raincoat, ensemble complete.
He inquired, “You a perp or a vic?”
Grinned and stretched: “Well, we’d better be quick!”
Silken strides, no words uttered:
Quite impressed, the judge muttered,
“Something tells me those charges won’t stick.”
Then doors opened to Counsel (Opposing):
“Whoops, Judge, I had thought you were dozing!”
The couple froze, glaring;
He leered, “Thanks for sharing
Your pairing: A coup for my closing!”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions. There were so many good ones, narrowing them down to the best six was quite a challenge.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
Tags: David Lefkovits, Limerick Of The Week, Patrice Stewart, Stan Ski, Tilly Bud, VerseBender, Victoria Ceretto-Slotto, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limericks | 10 Comments »
Sunday, April 10th, 2011
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. Choosing the winners was a big challenge because we had a record number of really good submissions. So I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and five Honorable Mentions (four for single verse limericks and one for multiverse limericks.)
Congratulations to Elaine Spall who wins Limerick of the Week for this clever, amusing verse:
A woman was fit to be tied.
Could not lose the weight though she tried.
Then she said “Better buy it,
This new “Alarm” diet,
A fridge that said “ACCESS DENIED.”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, Scott Crowder, Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, Catherine Palmer and Patrice Stewart a/k/a Patrice of the ManyCats for their delightful limericks:
David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:
A fellow was fit to be tied:
“How the food makers subtly misguide!
While the price has held steady
Per box of spaghetti,
There’s not as much noodle inside.”
Scott Crowder:
A fellow was fit to be tied,
At his failure to be certified.
The doc looked at his brain,
Told the judge he was sane,
And the fellow was fit to be tried.
Phyllis Sterling Smith:
A fellow was fit to be tied
On hearing these words from his bride:
“If you’re planning to hang
With your old drunken gang
I’ve a rope I’ll be glad to provide.”
Catherine Palmer:
A man who was fit to be tied
Was mad at his beautiful bride.
She took out a saddle.
Then threatened a paddle
if he didn’t agree to a ride!
Patrice of the ManyCats:
A fellow was fit to be tied
Viewing pics that displayed his backside:
He was naked (big deal)
But bemoaned each huge meal,
For he clearly was less tall than wide.
But determined to locate a mate,
He conversed with a promising date
‘Til she saw his webpage,
Guessed his height, weight, and age
And refused further contact ~ cruel Fate.
Then inclined to decline dates and mope,
He was tempted to give up all hope.
Would all women pass? Yet
Fresh thoughts of his asset
Provided a way he could cope.
He posted, “Pull Over – Wide Load!
Sweet, snuggly, with gorgeous abode.
I’ll rock you each night,
It’ll be outta sight!
I’m a doctor.” (His stethoscope showed.)
He sat back as responses flowed in,
Then he read hers: aah, Angel of Sin.
She was smart, lovely, built.
His libido went Tilt!
Now they bare it all nightly, and grin.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions. As I said, there were so many good ones, narrowing them down to the best limericks was quite a challenge.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
Tags: Catherine Palmer, David Lefkovits, Elaine Spall, Limerick Of The Week, Patrice Stewart, Phyllis Sterling Smith, Scott Crowder, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week | 7 Comments »
Sunday, March 20th, 2011
In last week’s Limerick-Off post I announced, as an experiment, a Limerick Of The Week contest. Basically, the best limerick submitted here and/or on Facebook using my upset first line, would be crowned Limerick Of The Week.
Well, my experiment worked even better than I’d hoped — so well, that I plan to make this a weekly event. In fact, you submitted so many excellent limericks, that choosing a winner was tough. But I rose to the challenge and I’m really pleased to announce this week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus three Honorable Mentions … just in time for World Poetry Day.
Congratulations to Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith. She submitted several fine limericks and hereby wins Limerick Of The Week for this one:
A fellow was very upset.
He’d climbed mountains in highest Tibet,
Taken loans without fear
To pay Sherpas, buy gear.
Now he can’t climb his mountain of debt.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, Versebender, and co-writers (not to mention married couple) Catherine Palmer and Ron Mardix. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:
A fellow was very upset
And filled with remorse and regret
That, instead of The Times,
His limerick rhymes
Appeared in the local Gazette.
Versebender:
A fellow was very upset
About words he had come to regret
Like calling her Dee
When her name was Marie
In the heat of a passionate sweat.
Catherine Palmer and Ron Mardix:
A fellow was very upset
Online he did meet a brunette.
When they kissed at her door
He but fell to the floor.
Her male package he’d never forget.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions. In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
Tags: Catherine-Ron Mardix, David Lefkovits, Limerick Of The Week, Phyllis Sterling Smith, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week | 7 Comments »
