Posts Tagged ‘Dallas Texas’
Wednesday, May 21st, 2014
Heated Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Chipotle says no packing heat
When you come to their rest’rants to eat.
This makes sense, cuz their food’s
Hot enough. Gals and dudes
Should save gunplay for home and the street.
Tags: Chipotle, Dallas Texas, Food Limerick, Gun Bans, Gun Humor, Gun Limerick, Gun Rights, Restaurants Humor, Weapons
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Restaurant Reviews & Humor, Weapons Humor | Comments Off on Heated Limerick
Thursday, April 25th, 2013
One month ago, The Washington Post Style Invitational challenged us to create “fictoids — totally bogus trivia — about music and the music world.” Having worked as an oboist for many years, I couldn’t possibly resist such a contest. So I’m posting all my entries, one of which earned an Honorable Mention.
I’m curious as to which of mine is your favorite. And of course feel free to make up your own musical trivia in my comment section, and to guess which of my musical fictoids won that Honorable Mention. (I reveal my winning fictoid at the end of this post — upside down to make it harder to cheat. :)
Here are my entries:
- Greedy J.S. Bach descendants tried to patent his Two and Three-Part Inventions.
- Antonio Vivaldi once sued himself for plagiarism … and won.
- Ludwig van Beethoven’s “Ode To Joy” (from his Symphony No. 9) was originally entitled “Oy, Oy, Oy.”
- The world premiere of Verdi’s “Aida” ended in tragedy when the lead soprano accidentally crushed an elephant to death.
- Female harp players are so loathsome, that shrewish women are now referred to as harpies.
- For several years during George W. Bush’s presidency, the Dallas Symphony’s concert programs id’ed its brass section as trumpets, trombones, tubas, and Texas shorthorns.
- Composers George Frideric Handel, Georg Philipp Telemann, Antonio Vivaldi and Johann Sebastian Bach were all so impoverished, they died of starvation. Hence, the name “Baroque composers.”
- Famed French flautist Jean-Pierre Rampal never appeared on stage without a chilled glass of champagne. That’s why flautists are now known as flutists.
- Ludwig van Beethoven didn’t actually go deaf; he just pretended to be deaf because his wife and mother-in-law were so annoying.
- In a 1980 New York Philharmonic April Fools’ Day performance of Mozart’s Concerto for Flute and Harp, flutist Julius Baker and harpist Ursula Holliger played each other’s instruments. The New York Times proclaimed theirs the best ever performance of the work.
- The Eastman School of Music was known as the Polaroid School of Music, until Kodak’s George Eastman won it in poker game.
And my Honorable Mention-winning entry is:
˙ɥʇɐǝp oʇ ʇuɐɥdǝןǝ uɐ pǝɥsnɹɔ ʎןןɐʇuǝpıɔɔɐ ouɐɹdos pɐǝן ǝɥʇ uǝɥʍ ʎpǝƃɐɹʇ uı pǝpuǝ ”ɐpıɐ“ s’ıpɹǝʌ ɟo ǝɹǝıɯǝɹd pןɹoʍ ǝɥʇ
Tags: Antonio Vivaldi, Baroque, Bogus Trivia, Classical Music Humor, Dallas Symphony Humor, Dallas Texas, Eastman School Of Music, Flautist Humor, Flute Humor, Georg Philipp Telemann, George Eastman, George Frideric Handel, Harp Humor, J.S. Bach, Jean-Pierre Rampal, Julius Baker, Kodak Humor, Ludwig van Beethoven, Mozart Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Music Review, Musical Fictoids, New York Philharmonic, New York Times Humor, Opera Humor, Plagiarism, Polaroid Humor, Ursula Holliger, Verdi's Aida, Washington Post
Posted in Contests, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Personal, Trivia Humor | 5 Comments »
Saturday, February 5th, 2011
Help! I can’t stop writing Super Bowl limericks! After reading about the disastrous Dallas weather leading up to tomorrow’s Super Bowl game, I felt compelled to write this limerick. (Full disclosure: Roughly a zillion years ago I lived in Dallas, played oboe in the Dallas Symphony, and taught oboe at SMU.)
Yet Another 2011 Super Bowl Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A friend of ours living in Dallas
Likes to brag that his city’s a palace,
Taunting “Never get snow!”
Then it snowed (don’t you know)
On the game. I won’t laugh cuz it’s callous.
Tags: Arlington, Cowboys Stadium, Dallas Texas, February Holidays, Football Humor, Green Bay Packers, NFL, Pittsburgh Steelers, SMU, Snow Verse, Sports Humor, Super Bowl Sunday, Weather Humor
Posted in Entertainment Humor, Games Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, Recreation & Fun Humor, Sports Humor, Television (TV) Humor | 2 Comments »
Saturday, February 5th, 2011
If you read my limerick about the NFL playoffs, you probably assume I won’t be watching tomorrow’s Super Bowl game in snow-challenged Dallas. And you’d be right:
Not Souped Up By The Super Bowl (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There are those who find football a gas.
But when football’s on, I take a pass.
I treat baseball the same.
Just don’t like any game
That has balls. I would rather mow grass.
Tags: Arlington, Cowboys Stadium, Dallas Texas, February Holidays, Football Humor, Green Bay Packers, NFL, Pittsburgh Steelers, Sports Humor, Super Bowl Sunday
Posted in Entertainment Humor, Games Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, Recreation & Fun Humor, Sports Humor, Television (TV) Humor | 2 Comments »
