A nasty conductor named Flynn
Yelled, “What in the hell was that din?”
“Not my fault,” said a drummer.
“That gong is a bummer!”
“I’ve warned you,” said Flynn. “Don’t chime in!”
Posts Tagged ‘Conductor Limerick’
The Nasty Conductor (Limerick)
Wednesday, September 20th, 2023Conductor Misconduct (Limerick)
Monday, March 28th, 2022A crazy conductor named Dick
Had a fondness for “food on a stick.”
The guy was far gone;
Used his skewer-baton
To throw food at the winds with a flick.
*****
Happy “Something On A Stick Day.” (March 28)
A Clarinet Tale (Limerick)
Tuesday, November 16th, 2021Happy “World Clarinet Day!” (November 16)
A woman who played clarinet,
Used vibrato; I’ll never forget,
Cuz the maestro freaked out;
“You’re ousted!”– his shout.
Now she can’t get a gig on a bet.
(For those unfamiliar with the clarinet vibrato issue, clarinet vibrato is generally considered a symphony orchestra no-no, but it’s used in jazz and klezmer music. However, when a symphony orchestra plays something with a jazz influence, such as Gershwin, the occasional exception is made.)
Missing Musicians (Limerick)
Thursday, October 21st, 2021“We have lost sev’ral members, I hear,”
Said the maestro. “Some key ones, I fear.
It’s too late for auditions
To find new musicians.
I guess we must play it by ear.”
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: RACE or ERASE at the end of any one line
Saturday, March 9th, 2019It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using RACE or ERASE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to CONDUCTORS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best CONDUCTOR-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on March 24, 2019 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, March 23, 2019 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
Though his conduct has been a disgrace,
He’s reformed and he hopes to erase
His transgressions from searches,
Cuz Google besmirches;
He’s harmed by each truth-telling trace.
And here’s my conductor limerick:
When audience members still cheer
A conductor whose meter’s unclear
And whose gestures and cues
Mislead and confuse,
Count on this: He looks cute from the rear.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: STICK at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5 (Deadline: April 18)
Saturday, April 4th, 2015It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using STICK at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner on April 19, right before I post the next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 18 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
The conductor was wielding his stick,
While screaming: “The strings are too quick,
And the woodwinds are slow.”
This made double reeds blow;
Yelled the oboe, “You don’t know a lick!”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
A Sax Tale
Saturday, November 3rd, 2012A Sax Tale
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A blowhard musician named Rand
Played sax (not too well) in a band.
He’d blow solos, yet boast.
Now he’s finally toast—
The leader, at last, took a stand.
UPDATE: November 6 is Saxophone Day, in honor of inventor Adolphe Sax’s birthday in 1814.
Dear Conductor (Limerick)
Wednesday, August 15th, 2012Three Word Wednesday asks us to use Beat, Pressure, and Substance in a poem. In substance, I’ve beaten them into submission, pressuring those words to fit into this limerick:
Dear Conductor (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear conductor, you think you’re elite,
But in substance, you’re always off beat.
You pressure musicians
With harsh admonitions.
To follow your stick’s no mean feat.
Last-String Limerick
Thursday, February 23rd, 2012In its latest Thursday Think Tank, Poets United prompts our muses with the word “strings.” It struck a chord with me, inspiring this limerick tale of an unstrung cellist:
Last-String Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“That conductor has strung me along,”
Said a cellist. “He’s doing me wrong.
He promised first chair,
But instead I’m nowhere:
Stuck in back, the last stand, near the gong.”
(Related Limericks: Musical Chairs; Musical Faux Pas; and Musical Discord.)
Musical Discord
Sunday, May 18th, 2008Musical Discord
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Your playing is way out of tune,”
The conductor informed the bassoon.
“All your high notes are sharp,
And I don’t mean to carp,
But you sound like a horny baboon”.
The bassoonist replied, “Sir, your ear
Gets progressively worse ev’ry year,
And your cues are all wrong,
So we just play along
And pretend your baton waving’s clear.”
(Orchestrated in response to these play, sharp, and simile challenges.)
