Posts Tagged ‘Computer Verse’
Saturday, November 30th, 2024
Happy Computer Security Day!
It’s Computer Security Day.
Do you feel like you’re safe? I’ll bet NAY!
Thieves with bots? There are many
Who’re after each penny.
You don’t use your antennae? Oy Vey!
Tags: Bots, Computer Humor, Computer Limerick, Computer Security, Computer Verse, Money Humor, Money Limerick, Security Humor, Spam Poetry, Technology, Technology Humor, Technology Limerick
Posted in Computer Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Robot Humor, Technology Humor | No Comments »
Monday, January 12th, 2015
Limerick Ode To “Clean Off Your Desk Day.”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s “Clean Off Your Desk Day” today.
I examine my mess with dismay.
What a foolscap-prediction–
That “paperless” fiction.
Laptops save us? The trees all say, “Nay!”
(The second Monday of January is “National Clean Off Your Desk Day.”)
View my Clean Desk Limerick image here.
Tags: Chaos Humor, Clean Off Your Desk Day, Computer Verse, Desk Humor, January Holidays, Limerick Images, Messy Desks, Odd Holidays, Office Humor, Paper Humor, Paperless Office
Posted in Limericks, Odd Holidays, Workplace & Career Humor | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To “Clean Off Your Desk Day”
Monday, June 16th, 2014
Dear Doc (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Although surgery’s surely a grind,
It with sexting ought NOT be combined.
’Tis a practice that’s mal;
A risk to the gal
Or guy patients. I’m guessing they’d mind.
(Inspired by this story: Doctor suspended amid charges of sexting during surgery)
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Computer Verse, Doctors Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Hospital Humor, Medicine, Patients Humor, Ribald Humor, Sex Humor, Sexting Humor, Surgeons Humor, Surgery Limerick, Technology Humor
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Computer Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Technology Humor | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, January 9th, 2013
Just when you think a problem is unsolvable, a creative company comes up with a solution. I’m referring, of course, to Smarter Socks which, we’re told, “makes sorting socks child’s play” through “interaction between the socks with a communication button, the Sock Sorter and an iPhone app.”
What would Seinfeld have to say about this?
There’s An App For WHAT??? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If you find that your socks keep cavorting
And consorting with strangers, your sorting
Can be helped with an app:
Smarter Socks fill the gap
When your laundering skills need supporting.
UPDATE: Alternatively, you could ditch the app and celebrate No Socks Day 365 days a year.
Tags: Clothing Poem, Computer Software, Computer Verse, Fashion Verse, Hosiery Limerick, Household Chores, Inventions Poem, iPhone Apps Humor, Jerry Seinfeld, Laundry Humor, May Holidays, Men's Fashion, No Socks Day, Odd Holidays, Odd Inventions, Smarter Socks, Sorting Socks Humor, Technology Humor, Underwear Humor
Posted in Computer Humor, Fashion Humor, House & Home Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Odd Trends, Technology Humor, Telephone Humor | 7 Comments »
Wednesday, December 21st, 2011
This is for everyone with holidayitis who’s playing online and posting on Facebook, while pretending to do real work at the office:
Limerick Ode To Holidayitis
By Madeleine Begun Kane
We’re busy pretending to work:
Reading Facebook’s the best way to shirk
All the tasks we’re assigned,
Cuz it’s more fun to find
Funny posts than to slave for a jerk.
Tags: Computer Verse, December Holidays, Facebook Humor, Holiday Humor, Holiday-itis, Internet Humor, Slacker Humor, Social Media Poetry, Technology Humor, Workplace & Career Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Computer Humor, Facebook Humor, Holiday Humor, Internet Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Procrastination Humor, Social Media Humor, Technology Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | 5 Comments »
Wednesday, October 26th, 2011
Sleep-Deprived Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
An inventor was trying to nap,
But snoozing just wasn’t on tap.
His constant fixation
With tech innovation
Required a sleep-prompting app.
(Author’s Note: I’m not an inventor, but I’m a life-long insomniac who could use such an application.)
Tags: Application, Aps Humor, Computer Verse, Insomnia Humor, Insomnia Verse, Inventions Poem, Sleep Poetry, Technology Humor, Technology Limerick
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Behavior & Personality, Computer Humor, Limericks, Sleep & Insomnia Humor, Technology Humor | 4 Comments »
Thursday, October 20th, 2011
No Siri for me — I’m serious!
I’m referring to Apple’s wise-cracking, female-voiced digital personal assistant, now available on the iPhone 4S.
Limerick Ode to the iPhone’s Siri
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s a newfangled Apple bot, Siri—
A bantering gal, rather eerie.
What a talkative lass!
I’m planning to pass.
Would a male bot be somewhat less cheery?
Tags: Apple, Artificial Intelligence, Bot Humor, Cell Phones, Computer Verse, Digital Personal Assistant, IPhone, Robots, Siri, Technology Humor, Telephone Verse
Posted in Computer Humor, Limericks, Odd Trends, Technology Humor, Telephone Humor, Weird News Snark | 3 Comments »
Thursday, September 22nd, 2011
Regular readers know that Facebook’s News Ticker has been driving me mad! It’s also driven me to write three anti-Facebook limericks.
If you share my problem, or if you simply feel sorry for me, you’ll be pleased to know I’ve uncovered a solution: Google Chrome has an extension that makes Facebook’s annoying Ticker vanish.
I’ve installed it and the extension works great. No more News Ticker. Yippee!
Time to celebrate with a limerick:
No Longer Tickered Out
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My outlook is better today
Cuz I’ve sent Facebook’s Ticker away:
Yes, a cool Chrome extension
Does Ticker prevention.
To Google, big thanks and hooray!
Tags: Chrome Extensions, Computer Verse, Facebook Limerick, Google, News Feed, Scrolling, Social Media Poetry, Stress Humor, Technology Humor
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Computer Humor, Facebook Humor, Google, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Social Media Humor, Technology Humor | 6 Comments »
Wednesday, September 21st, 2011
I’ve been trying to find something good to say about Facebook’s new News Feed, and here it is: It’s very inspirational! Last night it inspired me to write this dizzy limerick. And now I’ve written two more:
If you like things that constantly flicker,
You’re sure to enjoy Facebook’s ticker.
As for me, I must flee:
My sore brain needs Chablis,
So I’m off for some Advil and liquor.
*****
I am not one to bitch and to bicker,
But I hate Facebook’s stupid new ticker.
It makes my brain ache!
How much more can I take?
Enough with the scrolling and flicker!
*****
(Here’s a fun post about limericks, where you can submit your own.)
UPDATE: Good news! I’ve found a solution to Facebook’s terrible News Ticker problem. You can read all about it here, including a celebratory limerick.
Tags: ADD Humor, Attention Deficit Humor, Computer Verse, Drinking Limerick, Facebook Limerick, Liquor Humor, News Feed, Scrolling, Social Media Poetry, Stress Humor, Technology Humor
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Computer Humor, Facebook Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Social Media Humor, Technology Humor | 21 Comments »
Wednesday, September 21st, 2011
Much to my surprise, I’ve found myself defending Facebook lately. For instance, I think its new subscription feature is a great idea. But an even newer change is driving me nuts — the ever-scrolling News Feed on the upper right corner of the screen. The damn thing is making me so dizzy, I can’t even think straight.
Limerick Ode To Facebook’s Dizzying Changes
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Facebook, you’re making me dizzy
Cuz your feed on the right is too busy.
I’ll say this politely:
Your scrolling’s unsightly.
I am now in an A.D.D. tizzy.
(I’ve written two more limericks about Facebook’s annoying new Ticker here.)
UPDATE: Good news! I’ve found a solution to Facebook’s terrible News Ticker problem. You can read all about it here, including a celebratory limerick.
Tags: ADD Humor, Attention Deficit Humor, Computer Verse, Facebook Limerick, New Feed, Scrolling, Social Media Poetry, Technology Humor
Posted in Computer Humor, Facebook Humor, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Social Media Humor, Technology Humor | 7 Comments »
Wednesday, August 24th, 2011
Telecommuting Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who telecommuted
Had a short trip to work — undisputed.
His bed and PC
Were as close as can be.
Yet his tardiness got the guy booted.
Tags: Business Verse, Commuters, Computer Verse, Lateness Humor, PC Humor, Technology Humor, Telecommuting, Workplace & Career Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Business Humor, Commuting Verse, Computer Humor, House & Home Humor, Limericks, Technology Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | 13 Comments »
Tuesday, July 12th, 2011
Limerick Ode To Google+
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Would-be early adopters are pining.
For Google-Plus entry they’re whining.
Invitees get to brag:
“I got in, while you lag.”
A great come-on of Google’s designing.
(You can find me on GooglePlus here. And you always find my Google+ link on my right sidebar a bit below my photo.)
Tags: Computer Verse, Early adopters, Google, GooglePlus, Social Marketing, Social Media Poetry, Technology Humor
Posted in Business Humor, Communication Humor, Computer Humor, Google, Internet Humor, Social Media Humor, Technology Humor | 8 Comments »
Friday, June 24th, 2011
Dear Facebook: Get Up To Speed
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Facebook seems sluggish of late.
First I click, then I wait and I wait.
It’s getting annoying —
No longer enjoying
My visits. I’m getting irate.
Tags: Computer Verse, Facebook Humor, Impatience, Social Media Poetry, Technology Humor
Posted in Computer Humor, Facebook Humor, Social Media Humor, Technology Humor | 8 Comments »
Thursday, March 17th, 2011
Designing programs
for software business clients —
command performance.
*****
Military gifts
like General Patton’s patch —
commanding presents.
*****
Want satisfaction
when your weapon’s sarcasm?
Pick a smart target.
*****
An unrooted soul
steps on the joy of others
and roots for failure.
*****
Meaningful haiku
that’s smart, breezy, yet mellow —
ticklish challenge.
*****
(Haiku Heights commands prompts us to write haiku using the word command; One Single Impression wants us to be sarcastic; Sensational Haiku Wednesday roots for us to write haiku; and Three Word Wednesday prompts us to use breeze, mellow, and tickle in one fell swoop.)
Tags: Computer Software, Computer Verse, Gift Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Military Humor, Sarcasm Humor, Writing Haiku
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Computer Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Poetry & Prompts, Telephone Humor | 27 Comments »
Tuesday, February 22nd, 2011
Each year our calendars are jam-packed with weird, oddball holidays created, presumably, by equally weird people. Since I’m just as odd as the next person, I figure I’m entitled to invent one too … assuming I can come up with something strange that isn’t already taken.
Anyway, while scrolling through several calendars specializing in bizarre holidays, I noticed a startling omission. Apparently, nobody’s thought to invent All My Gizmos Are Working Day. That is, until now.
So with the powers vested in me as a member in good standing of the New York State Bar, I hereby declare March 2, 2011 to be the first annual All My Gizmos Are Working Day.
As you might expect, I’m commemorating this spanking new holiday with a limerick. But before I get to my verse, let me first acknowledge that most people won’t be able to really celebrate All My Gizmos Are Working Day on March 2nd. In fact, there’s a good chance I won’t be able to enjoy it either.
Why not? Because I can’t remember the last time that I didn’t have at least one broken gadget — a kitchen appliance, TV, DVD player, stereo, land line, cell phone, computer, e-book reader, MP3 player, etc. At least one electronic thingamajig is always misbehaving.
But hope springs eternal, right? So here’s my celebratory limerick:
Limerick Ode To All My Gizmos Are Working Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
All My Gizmos Are Working Day’s here.
March 2nd’s that day of good cheer.
If, alas, you’re disgusted
Cuz something is busted,
Try again on March 2nd next year.
(Inspired by Big Tent’s anti-holiday prompt.)
UPDATE: I’ve learned that March 26th is Make up your own Holiday Day.
Tags: All My Gizmos Are Working Day, Broken Gadgets Verse, Calendar Humor, Computer Verse, Gadget Humor, Gizmos, Holiday Satire, Law Humor, Limerick, Make Up Your Own Holiday Day, March Holidays, Odd Holidays, Technology Limerick, Weird Celebrations
Posted in Celebrations Poetry, Computer Humor, Holiday Humor, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Social Satire, Technology Humor, Weird News Snark | 22 Comments »
Monday, October 4th, 2010
Movie audiences sure seem to love Aaron Sorkin’s The Social Network, even if Facebook’s main founder Mark Zuckerberg doesn’t.
Hubby Mark and I saw it Saturday night and we certainly enjoyed it. And that brings me to my limerick review of this delightful film about Facebook’s founding and the lawsuits it inspired:
The Social Network (Limerick Review)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Social Network’s a wonderful flick —
Snappy dialogue — listen, it’s quick.
Depositions are used
Rather well — I’m amused.
As for Oscars this year, it’s my pick.
Tags: Aaron Sorkin, Computer Verse, Entertainment Limerick, Facebook Limerick, Films, Flick Limerick, Legal Limerick, Mark Zuckerberg, Movie Reviews, Movies, Oscars, Social Network Review, Technology Verse
Posted in Business Humor, Computer Humor, Entertainment Humor, Facebook Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Movie & Play Humor, Public Figures, Technology Humor | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, September 22nd, 2010
The movie about Facebook, The Social Network, has been getting a ton of publicity this week. So I wonder if Facebook’s outages today were caused by the extra publicity, or just an unfortunate coincidence.
Of course I immediately went into Facebook withdrawal and wrote this pair of haiku:
I think Facebook’s down.
Where to go to confirm this?
On Twitter, of course.
and
Facebook back — Hurray!
Have I cheered prematurely?
So Twitter tells me.
Tags: Computer Verse, Facebook Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Movies, Social Networking Humor, Twitter Verse, Web Addict, Web Withdrawal
Posted in Addiction Humor, Computer Humor, Facebook Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Technology Humor, Twitter Humor | Comments Off on Some Fun With Facebook’s Outage
Tuesday, September 7th, 2010
My blog comment spam problems aren’t nearly bad as they used to be, due to an anti-spam WordPress Plugin I raved about previously. But I still have to scan pending comments for spam, and certain things are a dead give away:
Dear Spammer Dude (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Spammers, don’t call me a “dude.”
I’m a gal, so that sounds rather rude.
My pic makes this clear,
So your “dude” usage, dear,
Proves your post should be promptly eschewed.
Tags: Blog Humor, Blogging Advice, Computer Verse, Spam, Technology Limerick
Posted in Blogging Humor, Blogging Tips, Computer Humor, Limericks, Spam Humor, Technology Humor | 5 Comments »
Wednesday, August 11th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman who hated high tech…
Here’s mine:
High-Tech Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman who hated high tech
Found computers a pain in the neck.
Whether Mac or PC,
How that gal longed to flee
Back five decades — a time machine trek.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Computer Verse, Luddites, Poetry & Prompts, Simple Life, Techie Humor, Technology Humor, Technophobes, Time Machine, Writing Prompts
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Computer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Technology Humor, Time Humor | 15 Comments »
Tuesday, August 10th, 2010
Last week, shortly after I posted my latest Limerick-Off and announced it on Facebook, the FB powers-that-be gave me quite a scare. Out of the blue, I was locked out of Facebook.
A few minutes after my account was frozen, I received an FB email security alert informing me that I was infected by the Koobface virus and that my account would be blocked until it was removed. The email “helpfully” explained that I had gotten it from downloading some video I damn well knew I hadn’t downloaded. In fact, I had run a virus scan several hours earlier and had downloaded nothing in the interim.
Nonetheless, I spent the next few hours running two different virus scans, neither of which found anything. After that, I wasted more time trying to regain access to my account. This involved:
1) Swearing on a bunch of bibles that I was virus and worm-free;
2) Writing, “pretty please let me back on Facebook — I promise to be good” one-thousand times on a local grade school’s blackboard; and
3) Trying to convince FB that I’m really the account owner by (and I swear this is true) attempting (and failing) to ID nine Facebook friends by their photos.
When I told hubby Mark about the ID nine FB friends by their photos test, he start laughing hysterically. Why? Because few people are less visual than I am. Not only don’t I pay attention to FB photos, but under pressure I’d be hard pressed to ID one of me.
The whole time I was taking (and flunking) the photo test, I was praying to the god of agnostics that Facebook would give me another chance before permanent banishment to Twitter land.
The good news: FB gave me a second opportunity to prove I’m not an identity thief. The bad news: It involved cell phone text messaging, something I’d never done.
Yes, I know cell phone text messaging is no big deal and has been mastered by your average three-year old. But after hours of FB torture, I wasn’t in the mood to acquire a new skill. Nevertheless, after several screwed up attempts, I retrieved the FB Top Secret Code from my cell phone and convinced Facebook that I really am Madeleine Begun Kane.
But (and I know I sound paranoid) I’m convinced this will happen again. Why? Because my banishment was apparently triggered by my last batch of Limerick-Off announcement messages. (I send them only to Limerick-Off participants, but FB seems to think they’re SPAM.)
Okay, you’ve waited long enough. It’s time for a two-verse limerick:
Facebook Straits
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Facebook, you’re driving me crazy.
I’m not careless or foolish or lazy.
So don’t claim you’ve detected
My puter’s infected.
It’s clean as a freshly cut daisy.
Though I’m not a technology wiz,
I know what the Koobface worm is.
And I checked — there’s no sign
Of a virus. None! Nein!
It appears that you don’t know your biz.
Update I thought, or at least hoped, that my FB travails were over. But apparently not. Wednesday night, when I tried to announce my new High-Tech Limerick-Off via Facebook group messages, FB refused to let me. Instead, it told me my message was SPAM. If I disagreed, I was instructed to write and explain why the “offending” message was kosher. I did that, of course, and await their response. In the meantime, I’m angry enough to write another limerick:
It seems Facebook does not give a damn
What it labels as unwanted SPAM.
My lim-off announcements
Are getting me bouncements.
Community? This one’s a sham.
Tags: Computer Security, Computer Verse, Facebook Humor, Identity Theft, Koobface Virus, Koobface Worm, Technology Limerick, Text Message Humor, Virus Scan Humor
Posted in Computer Humor, Facebook Humor, Limericks, Spam Humor, Technology Humor, Telephone Humor | 7 Comments »