Posts Tagged ‘Computer Software’
Thursday, November 14th, 2013
When I’m looking for limerick ideas, I sometimes visit idiom list sites, like this one. Then I’ll select an idiom that might work meter-wise and that ends with a common rhyme sound.
And so today, I challenged myself to write a limerick that contains the phrase “dry run.” Unconsciously inspired, perhaps, by the inept roll-out of Obamacare, I wrote these two lines:
A software firm held a dry run
But the coding, alas, wasn’t done…
I swiftly thought up an acceptable “B-rhyme,” but then got stuck at line 5. The best I could come up with was an ending that employed yet another idiom: “under the gun.” But I still couldn’t think of a line 5 that was even slightly clever.
And then I got an idea: create some wordplay by revising another line, adding specificity to the subject matter. Here’s the result:
Limerick Dry Run
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A software firm held a dry run,
But the arms-tracking code wasn’t done.
It failed test after test,
Till the owner confessed:
“I’m too stressed to work under the gun.”
Tags: Anatomy Of A Limerick, Anxiety Humor, Computer Humor, Computer Software, Idioms Humor, Stress Humor, Technology Humor, Under The Gun, Wordplay Humor, Writing & Publishing Humor
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Computer Humor, Idiom Humor, Limericks, Technology Humor, Wordplay, Writing & Publishing Humor | 6 Comments »
Wednesday, January 9th, 2013
Just when you think a problem is unsolvable, a creative company comes up with a solution. I’m referring, of course, to Smarter Socks which, we’re told, “makes sorting socks child’s play” through “interaction between the socks with a communication button, the Sock Sorter and an iPhone app.”
What would Seinfeld have to say about this?
There’s An App For WHAT??? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If you find that your socks keep cavorting
And consorting with strangers, your sorting
Can be helped with an app:
Smarter Socks fill the gap
When your laundering skills need supporting.
UPDATE: Alternatively, you could ditch the app and celebrate No Socks Day 365 days a year.
Tags: Clothing Poem, Computer Software, Computer Verse, Fashion Verse, Hosiery Limerick, Household Chores, Inventions Poem, iPhone Apps Humor, Jerry Seinfeld, Laundry Humor, May Holidays, Men's Fashion, No Socks Day, Odd Holidays, Odd Inventions, Smarter Socks, Sorting Socks Humor, Technology Humor, Underwear Humor
Posted in Computer Humor, Fashion Humor, House & Home Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Odd Trends, Technology Humor, Telephone Humor | 7 Comments »
Tuesday, January 8th, 2013
It seems that artificial intelligence has a pun and joke-writing branch called computational humor. For instance, a computer software program called Standup:
Though it’s not quite Louis C. K., the Standup program, engineered by a team of computer scientists in Scotland, is one of the more successful efforts to emerge from a branch of artificial intelligence known as computational humor, which seeks to model comedy using machines.
Some Jokes Just Don’t Compute (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Computational humor is here:
Oddball software whose goal’s the frontier
Of punning and jokes.
But so far, I’d say folks
Who are funny have nothing to fear.
Tags: Artificial Intelligence, Comedy Software, Computational Humor, Computer Humor, Computer Scientist, Computer Software, Joke Writing, Louis C. K., Pun Writing, Scotland, Standup, Technology Limerick, Writing & Publishing Humor
Posted in Computer Humor, Limericks, Science Humor, Technology Humor, Writing & Publishing Humor | 2 Comments »
Thursday, March 17th, 2011
Designing programs
for software business clients —
command performance.
*****
Military gifts
like General Patton’s patch —
commanding presents.
*****
Want satisfaction
when your weapon’s sarcasm?
Pick a smart target.
*****
An unrooted soul
steps on the joy of others
and roots for failure.
*****
Meaningful haiku
that’s smart, breezy, yet mellow —
ticklish challenge.
*****
(Haiku Heights commands prompts us to write haiku using the word command; One Single Impression wants us to be sarcastic; Sensational Haiku Wednesday roots for us to write haiku; and Three Word Wednesday prompts us to use breeze, mellow, and tickle in one fell swoop.)
Tags: Computer Software, Computer Verse, Gift Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Military Humor, Sarcasm Humor, Writing Haiku
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Computer Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Poetry & Prompts, Telephone Humor | 27 Comments »
Saturday, March 5th, 2011
I’ve just discovered a new search engine that, believe it or not, does stuff that Google can’t do. It’s the newly launched Greplin, and you can read all about its young founder Daniel Gross here.
So what’s the big deal about Greplin? It indexes and lets you search stuff that’s stored up in the “cloud.” Things like your Facebook posts, Twitter tweets, G-mail, Google Docs, LinkedIn posts, business applications I’m unfamiliar with, etc.
Let’s take its Facebook interface, for instance. Just put a key word or phrase into its search box and up pops a list of your posts (and your friends’ posts) using that word or phrase. I’m finding it so handy, I even wrote this haiku:
Forecast Not Cloudy
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Greplin’s great engine
is searching what Google can’t,
and I’m on cloud nine.
Tags: Cloud Computing, Computer Software, Daniel Gross, Facebook, Gmail, Google, Greplin, Internet Humor, Linked-In, Search Engines, Technology Review, Twitter, Web Humor
Posted in Business Humor, Computer Humor, Facebook Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Internet Humor, Search Engine Tools, Social Media Humor, Technology Humor, Twitter Humor | 3 Comments »
Monday, March 31st, 2008
Interactive Taxes
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Hello. Welcome to Taxtime, your Interactive Tax Preparer Program. Do you feel like doing your taxes today?
I see. Well, don’t you think you should do them anyway? After all, it’s April 14. And who knows? Maybe you’ll get a refund.
That’s the spirit. Let’s begin with your name, address, and marital status.
Sorry to hear about the divorce. But don’t let it get you down. That alimony deduction will come in handy.
Please don’t cry. Things are bound to improve. In the meantime, let’s talk about dependents. Do you have any children?
Wow! I hope they’re not all in college.
You’re having visitation problems on top of everything else? Gee, I can’t help you there. But you might try our Interactive Matrimonial Lawyer Software.
I hate lawyers too. But we’re really veering off track … (Interactive Taxes is continued here.)
Tags: April Holidays, Computer Software, Financial Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Tax Filing Humor, Tax Poetry, Taxation, Technology Humor
Posted in Computer Humor, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Money & Finance Humor, Tax & IRS Satire, Technology Humor | 1 Comment »
