A gal who had problems immense
Was frequently worried and tense.
She’d complain about money
And work and her “honey.”
(About sex she was still on the fence.)
Posts Tagged ‘Complaint Humor’
The Immensely Tense Woman (Limerick)
Wednesday, February 21st, 2024Not A High Old Time? (Limerick)
Saturday, April 22nd, 2023“I feel nothing at all,” bitched the bloke,
As the fellow took toke after toke.
It was ganja – top grade,
And as much as he brayed
“Still not high,” he was just blowing smoke.
Persnickety Patron (Limerick)
Wednesday, October 5th, 2022The oatmeal you served me was stale!
And my dinner? How dare you serve kale!
The meals here don’t thrill me.
You trying to kill me?
Better not, or I’ll see you in jail!
*****
(National Kale Day falls on the first Wednesday of October.)
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: PLATE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: July 23, 2022)
Saturday, June 25th, 2022It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using PLATE at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write CRAFT-themed limericks using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best CRAFT-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of these Random Words anywhere in your limericks: COMPLAINT CELL FORBID QUIRKY BOIL.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random words and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives into adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on July 24, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, July 23, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my PLATE-rhyme limerick:
A slacker was caught as he ate,
By the boss, who was rather irate.
His response, when reproved
For blown deadlines? Unmoved:
“Not my fault! I’ve too much on my plate.”
And here’s my CRAFT-themed limerick:
A ship-wrecked young man on a raft
Felt sev’ral strong wind gusts abaft.
He cursed his bad luck,
His life run amok,
And the death of his rickety craft.
And here is my RANDOM WORDS GENERATOR Limerick:
I’m sick of my cell phone co’s quirks.
Its service employees are jerks.
When I called to complain,
Their response was insane:
“Call again with a cell phone that works.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Dear Postman (Limerick)
Sunday, February 13th, 2022Dear Sir: We might like that last batch
Of mail, were it not for this catch:
Not one piece was addressed
To the Kanes; ’twould be best
To bring mail meant for US with dispatch.
Wage Madness (Limerick)
Monday, November 22nd, 2021The driver made such a loud fuss
Over new jitney wages, each cuss
As he bitched about pay
Could be heard blocks away…
So the man was thrown under the bus.
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: LEAK or LEEK at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: November 13, 2021)
Saturday, October 30th, 2021It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using LEAK or LEEK at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to COMPLAINTS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best COMPLAINTS-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on November 14, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, November 13, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my LEAK/LEEK-rhyme limerick:
I encountered a hedgehog last week;
While it hogged our back hedge, caught a peek.
As it foraged and grunted,
For insects it hunted.
I was pleased … till it munched on my leek.
And here’s my COMPLAINTS-themed limerick:
A woman who loved to complain,
Spouting grievances rather inane,
Would quibble and moan,
Making co-workers groan.
Her latest gripe? Jobless again!
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
My Unreasonable Complaint (Limerick)
Sunday, June 22nd, 2014My Unreasonable Complaint (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m not hot. There’s no sweat on my brow.
I’m not cold. Yes, I’m forced to allow
That the last sev’ral days
Have had moderate rays.
So what will I bitch about now?
Woebegone Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)
Sunday, April 15th, 2012It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A man was recounting his woes…*
or
A gal was recounting her woes…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Woebegone Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man was recounting his woes,
Causing those all around him to doze.
The guy was a whiner
With problems quite minor,
Though his bitching was building him foes.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
