“Have you noticed that men can’t abide
Being told that a lace is untied?
A mere warning that’s gentle
Turns many males ‘mental.’
I am fit to be tied,” cried the bride.
Posts Tagged ‘Clothing Humor’
Loose Ends (Limerick)
Wednesday, January 22nd, 2025A Knotty Problem (Limerick)
Tuesday, October 18th, 2022This limerick is a very compressed version of a necktie adventure with hubby Mark. And I can’t think of a better way to celebrate “International Necktie Day.”
“You MUST wear a necktie to enter,”
Mark was told. He’s a necktie dissenter,
But he re-tied his tie
Till our drinks were dropped by,
Then removed it — my waitress tormenter.
Celebrating Pasta (Limerick)
Monday, October 17th, 2022“I’ve a hunch you had pasta for brunch.
There are stains on your clothing — a bunch.
And they’ll never come out;
Of that fact there’s no doubt.
You should learn not to leak when you lunch.”
*****
Happy National Pasta Day! (October 17)
Hotheaded Hugh (Limerick)
Wednesday, August 31st, 2022Since Wordsmith’s “Word of the Day” today is “Hotheaded,” I decided to use it in a limerick:
A hotheaded fellow named Hugh
Was irked by a huge check-out queue.
To disperse the long line
He yelled “Gun!” — the damn swine.
He wears stripes now; “lines” up the wazoo!
The Incompetent Felon (Limerick)
Wednesday, May 18th, 2022A would-be attacker named Bill
Is disguised and in black, but lacks skill:
He trips on his way
To assaulting his prey.
Though inept he’s, at least, dressed to kill.
Cloaked In Bravado (Limerick)
Sunday, April 24th, 2022He showed off his coat with a swagger:
“It’s a one-of-a-kind,” said the bragger.
Then he brandished a knife:
“I’ll use THIS on the wife!”
His behavior? Sub-par cloak-and-dagger.
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: WASTE or WAIST at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: April 30, 2022)
Saturday, April 16th, 2022It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using WASTE or WAIST at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to COMMUNICATION, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best COMMUNICATION-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on May 1, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 30, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my WASTE or WAIST-rhyme limerick:
Said a fellow, “Alas and alack,
My new pants are too tight in the back
And the front of the waist.
(They were ordered in haste.)
I need someone to cut me some slack.”
And here’s my COMMUNICATION-themed limerick:
Dear hubby, you’re right in the kitchen,
And I’m elsewhere, so though you are itchin’
To share rumors or views,
A complaint or the blues,
I can NOT hear your news, schmooze, or bitchin’.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
My Sock Solution (Limerick)
Thursday, March 17th, 2022I always wear socks inside out.
That’s unseemly to many, no doubt.
But my feet ain’t discreet:
“Scratchy sock-seams,” they bleat.
How I hate when extremities shout!
May 9 is National Lost Sock Memorial Day. And December 4 is National Sock Day.
Blathering Limerick
Tuesday, January 18th, 2022A talkative tailor named Chip
Dished the dirt at a spirited clip.
Some patrons with clout
Got the babbler bawled out;
He was ordered to “button his lip.”
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: BOLD or BOWLED at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: January 22, 2022 )
Saturday, January 8th, 2022It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BOLD or BOWLED at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to INJURIES, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best INJURY-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on January 23, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 22, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my BOLD or BOWLED-rhyme limerick:
“You are scantily clad, which is bold,
Cuz I’ve just been outside, and it’s cold.
Your dress seems designed
To freeze your behind,
So you’d best put that ‘hot’ garb on hold.”
And here’s my INJURY-themed limerick:
A young man hurled a tool and yelled, “Catch it.”
And his friend somehow managed to snatch it,
But he’s terribly mad;
He was injured. It’s bad!
No surprise, he won’t bury the hatchet.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Out Of Sorts About “Jorts” (Limerick)
Friday, December 17th, 2021When I learn a new word like “jorts,” I feel compelled to use it in a limerick:
“Don’t you dare wear those frumpy old jorts,”
A gal to her husband exhorts.
“Making shorts out of jeans
Is a well-designed means
To induce me to take to the courts.”
Haiku for “Ugly Christmas Sweater Day!”
Friday, December 17th, 2021Dump redundancy!
U̷g̷l̷y̷ ̷C̷h̷r̷i̷s̷t̷m̷a̷s̷ ̷S̷w̷e̷a̷t̷e̷r̷ ̷D̷a̷y̷
Christmas Sweater Day.
*****
Ugly Christmas Sweater Day is celebrated each year on the 3rd Friday of December.
A Suitable Limerick
Wednesday, December 1st, 2021Shop online? Have a clothes-buying spree?
It has always seemed risky to me.
But I gave it a try;
Bought some tees on the fly,
And was floored when they fit to a T.
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: LOON or LUNE or BALLOON or SALOON at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: September 4, 2021)
Saturday, August 21st, 2021It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using LOON or LUNE or BALLOON or SALOON at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to MEMORY, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best MEMORY-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on September 5, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, September 4, 2021, at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my LOON/LUNE/BALLOON/SALOON-rhyme limerick:
A fellow, as mad as a loon,
Would strip naked outside ev’ry noon,
Till a note came. ’Twas snide:
“Were I you, I would hide
All my privates; your prick’s picayune.
And here’s my MEMORY-themed limerick:
Once again, I am drawing a blank.
My recall’s, alas, in the tank.
My brain feels bombarded
By facts, soon discarded.
So Google’s my memory bank.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter
Birthday Limerick For Hubby Mark
Friday, July 9th, 2021Here’s a birthday limerick for my husband Mark, in response to his joking (I hope) query: “Mad, it’s my Birthday, and I’m feeling a bit down, so would it be OK if I visited our local ecdysiast?”
Happy birthday to Mark! You’re the best!
Though you’re old, you still live life with zest.
I am joking, of course;
If you’re old, I perforce
Am antique. (So no dancers undressed!)
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SET/BeSET/UpSET the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: June 12, 2021)
Saturday, May 29th, 2021It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SET or BeSET or UpSET at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to TRENDS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best TRENDS-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on June 13, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, June 12, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my SET or BeSET or UpSET-rhyme limerick:
I need all the sleep I can get,
But I can’t get to sleep on a bet.
(Or a bed, for that matter.)
I blame all the chatter
My brain conjures up. I’m beset.
And here’s my TRENDS-themed limerick:
If I tried to be cool, I would fail.
Trends are nothing I ever would hail.
If I wear something “in,”
It has probably been
Purchased decades ago … and on sale.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Unfashionable Limerick
Wednesday, August 21st, 2019A woman with terrible taste
Believed fashion and style were a waste,
And when items she owned
Became trendy she groaned;
They were thrown in the garbage posthaste.
Happy World Fashion Day! (August 21)
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: PLACED or MISPLACED OR REPLACED or DISPLACED at the end of any one line
Saturday, October 27th, 2018UPDATE!!! ANNOUNCEMENT: DUE TO FAMILY OBLIGATIONS, I MUST POSTPONE THE DEADLINE FOR THIS LIMERICK-OFF BY ONE WEEK. THE NEW DEADLINE IS SAT. NOV. 17. RESULTS TO BE POSTED ON NOV. 18. MY APOLOGIES!
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using PLACED or MISPLACED OR REPLACED or DISPLACED at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to FOOTWEAR, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best FOOTWEAR-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on November 11, 2018, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, November 10, 2018 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A fellow with terrible taste
Always purchased his clothing in haste.
He lacked passion for fashion,
Yet swore he looked dashin’…
His self-confidence sadly misplaced.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Skirting Skirt-Racks (Limerick)
Saturday, March 10th, 2018Though it’s “Skirt Day,” I’d rather wear pants,
Whether walking or trying to dance.
I’ll ponder and pause,
Lest I feature my flaws —
Flaws that skirts simply love to enhance.