Posts Tagged ‘CJ@ProArtz’

Limerick of the Week (173)

Saturday, July 19th, 2014

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to SCOTT CROWDER, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

A woman was perched on the floor.
She threw down her sponge and she swore
And yelled at her gent:
“That is not what I meant
When I told you to use the back door!”

Congratulations to KEVIN AHERN, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

A lady was pacing the floor
Of my favorite gardening store.
She wanted a chance
To talk about plants,
But I’d never seen herbivore.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) David McCormick a/k/a AdamantYves, Konrad Schwoerke, Byron Miller a/k/a Errol Nimbly, CJ@ProArtz, and Allen Wilcox. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

David McCormick:

The boxer lies flat on the floor.
The referee’s count reaches “FOUR!”
Pirouetting, he then
Begins counting again…
(He once ran a ballet dance corps.)

Konrad Schwoerke:

I was showing my moves on the floor.
This chick cheered, so I knew I could score.
Then we walked to the car
Where I said, “Here we are.”
But my mom wouldn’t open the door.

Byron Miller:

I’ve got babies all over the floor.
They turn up at my door more and more.
I may soon blow a gasket —
Each day brings a basket
That’s tagged “Made in El Salvador”.

CJ@ProArtz:

Dora screwed the old salts on the floor.
Scrubbing up wasn’t much of a chore.
When they rolled from on top
She retrieved a wet mop
To push seamen right out the back door.

Allen Wilcox:

The Speaker demanded the floor,
Grabbed the mike and then let out a roar:
“The POTUS is lazy.
He’s driving me crazy.
Now back to my nap – let me snore.”

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 4 Comments »

Limerick of the Week (167)

Saturday, June 7th, 2014

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

Her eyes were the color of slate.
And her oral endurance? First-rate.
Half a dozen and two
Guys collapsed while she blew.
It all proved that she sure could fell eight.

Congratulations to SCOTT CROWDER, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

Her eyes were the color of slate.
Her breasts would increase my heart’s rate.
And now that I think
Of the part that was pink,
This last line will just have to wait.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Konrad Schwoerke, Chris Doyle, Jen Harris, Brian Allgar, CJ@ProArtz, Sue Dulley, and Fred Bortz. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Konrad Schwoerke:

The sea was the color of slate
When we spied her afloat on a crate.
Once aboard our small ship
She began a slow strip,
So we drew to see who she’d first mate.

Chris Doyle:

With an Aussie tour topping his slate,
William tended to matters of state.
He could not have foretold
What the world would behold
On his trip — the “down under” of Kate.

Jen Harris:

I’m forgetful — my mind’s a blank slate.
But poetry can carry weight.
Now – what was I writing?
For what am I fighting?
Please apprize me, before it’s too late.

Brian Allgar:

His teeth are the colour of slate;
He walks with a simian gait;
He has a huge belly
That shakes like a jelly —
Which is why he prefers a blind date.

CJ@ProArtz:

I’m aging — my mind’s a blank slate.
My hair loss reveals a bald pate.
I’m so ready to squeal
Over lost sex appeal.
My only gain, lately, is weight.

Sue Dulley:

The menu, scrawled out on a slate
In the pub, let us choose what we ate.
The food was not ‘light’
And the staff took all night,
But the dinner was well worth the weight.

Fred Bortz:

With Agnew on Tricky Dick’s slate,
The country would first have to wait
For Crook 2 to resign.
Then the boss was in line
To receive his appropriate fate.

But Gerry Ford then cleared the slate,
Leaving us in a dubious state.
But there’s one thing for sure,
When a pol is impure,
The scandal will end with a “gate.”

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 3 Comments »