Posts Tagged ‘Christmas Limerick’

Something I’ve Noticed (Limerick)

Monday, December 8th, 2014

Something I’ve Noticed (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

This notice can fill you with dread,
When it comes from your office-place head:
Not the “blue slip,” you smarty–
The “holiday party!”
I’ll bet you’d feel safer in bed.

Lingerie Lust (Limerick)

Tuesday, November 27th, 2012

You know it’s the Christmas season, when you read about a Black Friday brawl breaking out over panties at Victoria’s Secret. This mall melee at the Roseville Galleria Mall in California was all captured on video.

Lingerie Lust (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

In their lust for a haul at the mall,
Pantie shoppers broke into a brawl.
To put it quite briefly
The reasons are chiefly
Their vainness and greed — a clothes call.

While we’re on the subject of undie shopping at Victoria’s Secret, Secret Shopper is an old humor column about shopping for panties with my late mother. (It was her favorite column featuring her antics.)

What Do Jews Do On Christmas? A Limerick Explanation

Saturday, December 25th, 2010

A reader asks, “What do Jews do on Christmas?” So as a public service, I offer a limerick explanation:

What Do Jews Do On Christmas? A Limerick Explanation
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Here’s a query that’s answered with ease:
“What do Jews do on Christmas Day, please?”
We watch movies and read.
Surf the Net. (Dull indeed!)
But mostly we munch on Chinese.

(I’ve dedicated that limerick to Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan. (This post explains why.) And here’s a fun article about Jews and Chinese Food.

While I’m posting holiday humor, I might as well post the rest of the holiday verse I dashed off this week.

I hope you’ll think that these haiku
Ain’t all that bad for this old Jew.

HOLIDAY HAIKU Quartet

Best safety advice
For the holiday season:
Hide under your bed.

*****

Since it’s Christmas Eve
Your shopping better be done,
Or you’ve been naughty.

*****

A generous gift
From our fav gov agency:
Revised 1040.

*****

No gifts for Kwanzaa
Or Christmas or Chanukah.
Husband’s gift enough.

*****

We Jews Need A Christmas Limerick, STAT!

Saturday, December 25th, 2010

When I was growing up, my mother used to joke that “Christmas isn’t such Jewish holiday.”

We Jews do tend to feel left out of things this time of year. After all, Chanukah may be really, really long, but it just doesn’t have that Christmas panache. Ask Jon Stewart, if you don’t believe me.

So I think we Jews need a Christmas limerick, and I’ve written one in my late mom’s honor:

A Jewish Christmas Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

You’re Jewish and feeling left out?
We have holy days too we can tout.
So enjoy and feel chipper.
We’ve still got Yom Kippur.
On second thought, go ahead — pout.

Update: For those who pronounce Yom Kippur the other way, I’ve written an alternative B-rhyme for the 3rd and 4th lines. Here’s the alternate version:

A Jewish Christmas Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

You’re Jewish and feeling left out?
We have holy days too we can tout.
Ain’t you thrilled to your core
By the great Yom Kippur?
On second thought, go ahead — pout.