Help! It’s Sean Connery Day!
Sean Connery’s speech drives me mad
Cuz his diction is fiendishly bad.
Yet he’s worshipped, adored;
Fervid film buffs, un-Moored,
Won’t shush up their Sean-mimicry fad.
Posts Tagged ‘Celebrity Humor’
Help! It’s Sean Connery Day! (Limerick)
Thursday, August 25th, 2016Ode To Joan Rivers
Thursday, January 29th, 2015Here’s my non-winning entry into the Washington Post Style Invitational’s obit-poem contest.
Ode To Joan Rivers
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A comic genius died last year.
“A Piece of Work” she was — sans peer!
Her edgy style brought rivers of tears
From laughter — not to mention, cheers.
Her plastic surgeons went too far.
She looked (let’s face it) quite bizarre.
A victim of the youth craze? Yup!
To those who’d mock her:”Oh, grow up!”
A “Really Big Shew” Of A Crime (Limerick)
Saturday, October 4th, 2014A “Really Big Shew” of A Crime (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A crisis had come to a head
And a torso and legs. Tears were shed,
Cuz some soon-to-be cons
Stole Ed Sullivan’s bronze.
But don’t fret — they’ve reclaimed AWOL Ed.
Yes, Ed Sullivan fans can breathe sighs of relief: “Los Angeles police have found the missing bronze statue of the renowned American TV personality, four days after it was stolen from the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences.”
Reality TV Shows That Will Never Be Produced
Thursday, November 14th, 2013In a recent Washington Post Style Invitational contest (Week 1043), we were challenged to invent fake celebrity reality shows. I enjoyed many of the winning entries, especially several of the Honorable Mentions. So be sure to click that link and read about those never-to-be shows.
Alas, no ink for me this week. But here are my three non-winning entries:
“Dancing Behind Bars.” Former “Dancing with the Stars” judge Bruno Tonioli launches his quest for “fast on their feet felons,” after running out of minimally talented dancers in the general population. “Inmates have so much talent, it’s criminal,” raves Bruno. “The cat burglars have stolen my heart! And those death row moves are killer!”
“The Sex Factor.” After losing control of the Miss USA and Miss Universe franchises in yet another bankruptcy, Donald Trump makes a comeback with a weekly beauty contest that, according to Trump, will be “really big” with “lots of bikinis and no interviews.” Says Trump, “girls should be seen and not heard … unless they went to Wharton.”
“Dancing Up In Mars” marks a “new frontier in reality TV, taking dance competitions to the next step.” Says host Newt Gingrich, “the gravity difference presents a grave challenge. But on the upside, Mars doesn’t enforce alimony laws. So no more checks to my six (or is it seven?) exes.”
O’Donnell v. The Donald
Tuesday, January 9th, 2007Have you heard about the Rosie O’Donnell vs. Donald Trump feud? Yeah … like you could possibly avoid it. Those publicity-mongers deserve a limerick, don’t you think?
Rosie O’Donnell vs. The Donald
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Whenever publicity’s needed,
O’Donnell and Trump seem to feed it
By starting a feud
With each other. How rude!
To both I can only say, “Beat it!”
