Limerick Ode To The Emmy Awards
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Emmy Awards are tonight,
An annual Sunday night rite,
At which some make the list,
And others feel dissed,
And carpers harp: “TV’s a blight!”
To this day, Last Dance is one of my favorite songs to dance to. RIP Donna Summer!
Limerick Ode To Donna Summer
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Alas we have lost Donna Summer
And her beautiful voice. What a bummer!
She was Hot Stuff, the Queen
Of a musical scene,
Who’s Last Danced to her own disco drummer.
Today, October 22, is the birthday of the Hungarian virtuoso pianist/composer/conductor Franz Liszt. Some people consider Liszt to be the world’s first rock star.
Birthday Limerick For Franz Liszt
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The pianist/composer named Liszt
Was as hot as the cancan and twist:
Caused a Beatle-like heat—
Gals would swoon from his beat
And the sounds he produced with each wrist.
After flunking (badly) The Guardian’s Who Said This — Gaddafi or Charlie Sheen quiz, I forced myself to watch ABC’s entire 20/20 Charlie Sheen interview conducted (I’m not sure how) by Andrea Canning. Yikes!
I’m no shrink, but if Sheen isn’t certifiable, I can’t imagine who is. Yet Sheen’s suing CBS and Warner Bros. for canceling Two and a Half Men. CBS and Warner Bros. should keep a copy on hand of ABC’s interview. Because that show gives CBS all the ammunition it needs to defeat Sheen’s case. We’re talking loony-tunes-uninsurable!
And so, Charlie Sheen has earned himself two “Dear Charlie” letter limericks. Here’s the first:
Dear Charlie, you’re acting bizarre.
We don’t need yet another sick star.
You appear on the brink
Of a breakdown, yet think
You’re not crazy, which proves that you are.
And here’s my second limerick:
Dear Charlie, you’re losing your sheen.
Once funny, you’re now turning mean.
It’s clear that you’re sick.
Get some help. Do it quick!
And stop wasting your comedy gene.
(You can find more letters at Write A Letter.)
This question will probably make me sound ageist and grumpy. In my preemptive defense, let me say:
1) I’ve been tossing AARP’s annoying magazine for years; and
2) I am grumpy.
So here’s my question: Have you ever noticed that Andy Rooney isn’t funny anymore?
I used to be a fan and would never turn 60 Minutes off until Rooney’s monologue was over. I even owned one of his humor collections. But I can’t remember the last time Andy Rooney made me laugh … or even giggle. These days his commentaries make me cringe.
Now to those who may argue that I’m not funny either, I say:
CBS doesn’t pay me a gazillion bucks a year to not be funny!
And no, this limerick isn’t funny either:
Have You Ever Noticed…
By Madeleine Begun Kane
At the risk of incurring some ire:
Andy Rooney should really retire.
It’s not that he’s old,
And I don’t mean to scold,
But he’s funny no more, and it’s dire.
As I’ve mentioned before, my husband and I recently vacationed in Las Vegas. I’ve already reviewed Cher’s show and Cirque du Soleil’s LOVE via limerick. Well, now it’s time for a far less positive review:
An Unmagical Night of Magic (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
David Copperfield’s show on the Strip—
Neither clever, nor witty, nor hip.
He acted quite bored,
Which is rather untoward.
When in Vegas, avoid him’s my tip.
When I posted my Cher limerick last weekend, I promised more limerick reviews of Las Vegas shows. So here’s my love limerick to the Beatles-inspired Cirque du Soleil show LOVE.
Mad About LOVE
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Once again, I must say hip-hooray
To the wonderful Cirque du Soleil.
It’s spectacle LOVE
Is a few cuts above.
Like the Beatles? Then see it today.
While I’m on the subject of Cirque Du Soleil, hubby Mark and I saw “O,” Mystere, and Zumanity on previous trips. “O” and Mystere were great, but we both disliked Zumanity.
Sorry to have been so quiet lately. I’ve been traveling — family stuff in Dallas, followed by a wonderful vacation in Las Vegas.
Here’s the first in a short series of limerick show reviews:
Limerick Ode To Cher
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The singer and actress named Cher
Looks amazingly good nearly bare.
Her singing is great.
Her show is first rate.
And costumes? Elton John should beware.
I don’t know about you, but I’m not buying Jesse James’ (or Tiger Woods’) rehab ploy:
Rehab For Serial Wife-Cheating? Bullox! (Double Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A bike-loving fellow named James
Had affairs with some numerous dames.
Though wife Sandra’s a winner,
He’s trying to spin her:
Addiction’s the problem, he claims.
Now he’s paying a whole lot of loot
For therapy — Tiger Woods’ route.
But rehab won’t fix
Those wife-cheating pricks.
My advice — just give both guys the boot.
Rising-star raves,
Hype, sticks and stones, has-been whispers:
Celebrity press.
(This haiku was prompted by sticks and stones and rising. And speaking of prompts, I just posted a new limerick and haiku prompt. Its theme is age and/or life stages.)
Have you heard about the Rosie O’Donnell vs. Donald Trump feud? Yeah … like you could possibly avoid it. Those publicity-mongers deserve a limerick, don’t you think?
Rosie O’Donnell vs. The Donald
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Whenever publicity’s needed,
O’Donnell and Trump seem to feed it
By starting a feud
With each other. How rude!
To both I can only say, “Beat it!”
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
