Yet Another Limerick Ode To “Rabbit Ears”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Most New Yorkers can’t see CBS.
It’s a hairy Time Warner Co mess.
But I see it fee-free:
We’ve no cable, you see,
And use rabbit ears — access success!
Note from Mad Kane: This limerick was inspired by the fee dispute between Time Warner Cable and CBS. A previous feud between Time Warner Cable and ABC inspired my original Ode To “Rabbit Ears.”
After flunking (badly) The Guardian’s Who Said This — Gaddafi or Charlie Sheen quiz, I forced myself to watch ABC’s entire 20/20 Charlie Sheen interview conducted (I’m not sure how) by Andrea Canning. Yikes!
I’m no shrink, but if Sheen isn’t certifiable, I can’t imagine who is. Yet Sheen’s suing CBS and Warner Bros. for canceling Two and a Half Men. CBS and Warner Bros. should keep a copy on hand of ABC’s interview. Because that show gives CBS all the ammunition it needs to defeat Sheen’s case. We’re talking loony-tunes-uninsurable!
And so, Charlie Sheen has earned himself two “Dear Charlie” letter limericks. Here’s the first:
Dear Charlie, you’re acting bizarre.
We don’t need yet another sick star.
You appear on the brink
Of a breakdown, yet think
You’re not crazy, which proves that you are.
And here’s my second limerick:
Dear Charlie, you’re losing your sheen.
Once funny, you’re now turning mean.
It’s clear that you’re sick.
Get some help. Do it quick!
And stop wasting your comedy gene.
(You can find more letters at Write A Letter.)
This question will probably make me sound ageist and grumpy. In my preemptive defense, let me say:
1) I’ve been tossing AARP’s annoying magazine for years; and
2) I am grumpy.
So here’s my question: Have you ever noticed that Andy Rooney isn’t funny anymore?
I used to be a fan and would never turn 60 Minutes off until Rooney’s monologue was over. I even owned one of his humor collections. But I can’t remember the last time Andy Rooney made me laugh … or even giggle. These days his commentaries make me cringe.
Now to those who may argue that I’m not funny either, I say:
CBS doesn’t pay me a gazillion bucks a year to not be funny!
And no, this limerick isn’t funny either:
Have You Ever Noticed…
By Madeleine Begun Kane
At the risk of incurring some ire:
Andy Rooney should really retire.
It’s not that he’s old,
And I don’t mean to scold,
But he’s funny no more, and it’s dire.
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
