Posts Tagged ‘Catherine Palmer’

Limerick of the Week (11)

Sunday, May 29th, 2011

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and four Honorable Mentions:

Congratulations to PATRICK MCGUIRE who wins Limerick of the Week for this charming verse:

A fellow went out on a date
And proudly showed off his best trait.
The woman was awed
And loud did applaud,
But now she complains that she’s late.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) VerseBender, Catherine Palmer, Steve Vitoff, and David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

VerseBender:

A fellow went out on a date,
But found himself deep in debate.
You want to get kissed
Instead of dismissed?
Leave politics at the front gate.

Catherine Palmer:

A woman went out on a date
With a fellow who made her irate.
He showed up at her door
Like a john for his whore
And proceeded to ask for her rate.

Steve Vitoff:

A woman went out on a date.
But her date she began to berate.
She’d freak when he’d speak
And critique his physique.
Rest assured, they did not conjugate.

David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:

A woman went out on a date.
That started and ended at eight:
“His chiseled physique
Would render me weak,
So I’m leaving before it’s too late.”

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

Limerick of the Week (4)

Sunday, April 10th, 2011

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. Choosing the winners was a big challenge because we had a record number of really good submissions. So I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and five Honorable Mentions (four for single verse limericks and one for multiverse limericks.)

Congratulations to Elaine Spall who wins Limerick of the Week for this clever, amusing verse:

A woman was fit to be tied.
Could not lose the weight though she tried.
Then she said “Better buy it,
This new “Alarm” diet,
A fridge that said “ACCESS DENIED.”

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, Scott Crowder, Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, Catherine Palmer and Patrice Stewart a/k/a Patrice of the ManyCats for their delightful limericks:

David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:

A fellow was fit to be tied:
“How the food makers subtly misguide!
While the price has held steady
Per box of spaghetti,
There’s not as much noodle inside.”

Scott Crowder:

A fellow was fit to be tied,
At his failure to be certified.
The doc looked at his brain,
Told the judge he was sane,
And the fellow was fit to be tried.

Phyllis Sterling Smith:

A fellow was fit to be tied
On hearing these words from his bride:
“If you’re planning to hang
With your old drunken gang
I’ve a rope I’ll be glad to provide.”

Catherine Palmer:

A man who was fit to be tied
Was mad at his beautiful bride.
She took out a saddle.
Then threatened a paddle
if he didn’t agree to a ride!

Patrice of the ManyCats:

A fellow was fit to be tied
Viewing pics that displayed his backside:
He was naked (big deal)
But bemoaned each huge meal,
For he clearly was less tall than wide.

But determined to locate a mate,
He conversed with a promising date
‘Til she saw his webpage,
Guessed his height, weight, and age
And refused further contact ~ cruel Fate.

Then inclined to decline dates and mope,
He was tempted to give up all hope.
Would all women pass? Yet
Fresh thoughts of his asset
Provided a way he could cope.

He posted, “Pull Over – Wide Load!
Sweet, snuggly, with gorgeous abode.
I’ll rock you each night,
It’ll be outta sight!
I’m a doctor.” (His stethoscope showed.)

He sat back as responses flowed in,
Then he read hers: aah, Angel of Sin.
She was smart, lovely, built.
His libido went Tilt!
Now they bare it all nightly, and grin.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions. As I said, there were so many good ones, narrowing them down to the best limericks was quite a challenge.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.