I can’t possibly resist writing about Brooklyn’s Smallest Penis Contest.
Brooklyn’s Nutty Penis Contest (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A contest for tiniest dick
Might strike you as utterly sick.
But “reverse chic” is “in,”
So a dick, short and thin,
By that measure might just do the trick.
My limerick was inspired by this news item:
Group of observant Brooklyn drug dealers told customers they were closed for Shabbat: The five men would text customers with warnings that they were about to stop dealing around sundown Friday, according to a criminal complaint…
“The men are accused of peddling heroin, oxycodone, cocaine and other drugs from their Bedford Ave. drug warehouse…”
Observant Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If you plan to sell drugs and break laws,
It seems God will forgive all your flaws,
And you won’t be a goner
So long as you honor
Shabbat with a crime-breaking pause.
My niece, who holds yoga classes in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, New York, recently launched a yoga blog. And in her latest post she includes a video that demonstrates face-yoga.
So what the heck is face-yoga? According to the instructor featured on the video, certain face poses (including something called “the lion face”) can tone your face and reduce facial lines and wrinkles.
Hey … at least you don’t have to move your whole body.
I thought I’d celebrate with a limerick:
A Fountain Of Face-Yoga Youth?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Can yoga de-wrinkle your face?
Your forehead and frown lines erase?
With its face-moves like “lion” —
Not certain I’m buyin’.
But maybe I should … just in case.
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
