Posts Tagged ‘Brendan Beary’

Limerick of the Week (126)

Sunday, August 11th, 2013

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to Jim Delaney, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

A fellow would often opine:
“You should say what you think; show some spine,
But I’ve frequently found
An opinion’s unsound
If it glaringly differs from mine.”

Congratulations to Fred Bortz, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

The physicist liked to opine
That Schroedinger’s cat was just fine.
Then he opened the box
And alas, shock of shocks,
He discovered a half-dead feline.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Jane Shelton Hoffman, Brendan Beary, Colleen Murphy, Mary Blackley, and Fred Bortz. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Jane Shelton Hoffman:

A boy fish was starting to pine
For his missing girl fish, oh so fine.
So where did she go?
Well, all that we know
Is that she’d reached the end of the line.

Brendan Beary:

A fellow would often opine
On the evils of whiskey and wine,
So we townsfolk were tickled
On finding him pickled
As though he’d been soaking in brine.

Colleen Murphy:

The playwright, when panned, would opine
After drinking some glasses of wine,
“May those critics be throttled,
Their attitudes bottled,
And put where the sun doesn’t shine!”

Mary Blackley:

In a barrel handcrafted from pine
A corned beef was basting in brine,
Rye bread and some carrots,
And sixteen large parrots.
Oh, won’t you come over to dine?

Colleen Murphy:

My sister would frequently pine
Over ev’ry last boyfriend of mine.
So I found me another
Whose twin was a brother.
Now the four of us get along fine!

Fred Bortz:

On a lower bunk fashioned of pine,
The trysting pair went to entwine.
They squealed and they wriggled
At least ’til I giggled.
Then they blushed, for the upper was mine.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick of the Week (80)

Sunday, September 23rd, 2012

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

A fellow was trying his hand
At arranging a hot one-night stand.
Said the lady: “Reports are,
Your Calvin Klein shorts are,
At best, insufficiently manned.”

Congratulations to Scott Crowder, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

A fellow was trying his hand
At teaching his dog a command.
But he slurred just a bit,
And when he said “Sit,”
He got a bit more than he planned.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Craig Dykstra, Tim James, Brendan Beary, Richard Diakun, Carolyn Henly, and John Peter Larkin. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Craig Dykstra:

A friend of mine once tried his hand
Selling frozen treats down by the sand.
But the end of the summer
Killed business – a bummer!
Last night it was Custard’s Last Stand.

Tim James:

A fellow was trying his hand
At building a nudie bar brand.
But he made too few hires
For clients’ desires;
Supply was outstripped by demand.

Brendan Beary:

A fellow was trying his hand
On the Tokyo stage, but was canned —
The director yelled, “Cut!”
Then reproached him with, “What
Part of Noh do you not understand?”

Richard Diakun:

The lady again played her hand,
And this time the pot was a grand.
She got quite a rush
As she showed off her flush.
Her cleavage distracted as planned.

Carolyn Henly:

A poet was trying her hand
At a lim’rick that wouldn’t get panned.
The rhymes were a breeze;
She contrived them with ease.
If only the doggone-son-of-a-jumping-frog last line had scanned.

John Peter Larkin:

A fellow was trying his hand
At making his member expand.
It worked rather well.
He said, “This is swell
To know I can grow on-demand.”

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!