Multitask THIS! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Multitasking is bad for your brain,
Says a study I read on the plane
While cleaning my purse,
Writing email and verse.
Now where WAS I? That study’s insane!
According to research done at Stamford University, we are all seriously screwed.
This interesting study sheds some light on how we make decisions: According to scientists at the University of Toronto Scarborough, people think more objectively when in darkness, making more rational decisions when the lights are dimmed.
No Longer In The Dark About Decision-Making (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Here’s a study with insight that’s stark:
Our reasoning’s best in the dark.
Need to make a decision?
Dim light aids your vision.
Watch lucid enlightenment spark.
Just what we all need — yet another reason to eat chocolate!
Eat chocolate, win a Nobel Prize?
It may sound far-fetched, but a new study suggests it might not be bad advice.
The results show countries that eat the most chocolate also have the highest number of Nobel laureates per capita.
Yet Another Excuse To Eat Chocolate (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If you want yet another excuse
To engage in some chocolate abuse,
It seems eating those sweets
Will create smart elites
And can Nobel Prize winners produce.
UPDATE: If you need a further excuse, I’ve just learned that December 16th is Chocolate Covered Anything Day.
I usually don’t use the New York Post as a source of scientific info. But this report on brain differences between men and women is very interesting. (Hat tip to Kalilily.net)
Here’s an excerpt:
In her book, the Columbia professor explores the chemistry of male and female brains – and, using up-to-the-minute medical research, reinforces some cherished “Men Are From Mars” stereotypes:
* Women remember better – even things that happened a really long time ago.
* Men are better at map-reading. They also get turned on a lot easier.
* Women thrive on talking and spending time in groups; men like to do things on their own.
But all this isn’t quite as simple as it sounds. For example: A woman’s brain is, in fact, about 10 percent smaller than a man’s, even when factoring in physical size difference – but it also has a lot more going on, neuron-connection-wise.
In other words, writes Legato, “women get more brain bang for the buck.”
Thanks to Stone Age wiring, women also have a far greater capacity for understanding speech and body language, and have “elephantine” memories, especially when it comes to negative experiences.
***
Men are better than women at focusing on one task and completing it. Women’s brains excel at multi-tasking, which like many of their traits has origins in childbearing: “You’re not just going to sit and stare at your baby. You have to process a demand from your child and move on to different tasks.” In the brain, this means more connections across the corpus callosum, which divides the brain into two halves.
As you can see from that New York Post article’s dateline, it only took me a year to celebrate our differences with a poem:
Vive La (Brain) Différence!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
We gals and guys are diff’rent—
You must know that old cliché.
Now some scientists have proven
That our wiring’s night and day.
The brains of men are larger,
Which shall surely make them proud.
Will it hurt gals in the workplace—
Only big-brained folks allowed?
But women’s brains have neurons
Whose connectors are first-rate.
We are multi-tasking mavens,
And our memory’s just great!
With diff’rences so striking
(Guys and gals, I mean to say)
Our commingling’s quite amazing.
I’m surprised we all ain’t gay.
(You can find my feminist humor here.)
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Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
