It’s “National Dictionary Day,” which gives me a good excuse to post a limerick about another new-to-me term: “Dawn Chorus.”
(For the record, all the names have been changed to protect the guilty.)
“Let’s go back to that lovely ‘Fowl Inn,’”
Said my spouse, quite forgetting its din.
’Twas no use telling Boris
(A bull-headed Taurus)
That its dawn chorus drove us to gin.
*****
Happy birthday to American lexicographer Noah Webster, of dictionary compilation fame. He was born October 16, 1758.
It’s time for a string of rhymed words
To acknowledge this day for the birds.
And to those who cry foul
With an anti-lim howl,
How dare you insult lim’rick nerds!
There are three separate bird days, that I know of: Bird Day, National Bird Day and Migratory Bird Day
Bird Day is today, May 4. National Bird Day falls on January 5. And Migratory Bird Day is celebrated on the second Saturday in May.
Though it’s springtime, the temp’rature’s low.
It’s damp, and the wind’s all a-blow.
And I swear that I heard
These words chirped by a bird:
“For THIS I flew north? I hate snow!”
Happy “National Bird Day!”
A birder who’d frequently swear
His toupée was in fact his real hair,
Was caught by a gust,
And his toupe, not just mussed,
Flew the coop, leaving pate rather bare.
*****
“A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.” —
People tell me that all of the time.
Such axioms give me a pain in the tush.
Were I queen, I would make them a crime.
I’ve been known to lash out against people who drive red cars:
Now I’m no scientist or statistician. I have no idea whether the color red inspires insanity in drivers, or if bad drivers are genetically attracted to it. All I know is that whenever I see a driver doing something spectacularly stupid, he’s doing it in a flaming red automobile.
But after reading this article about red cars and bird poop, I’m starting to feel a bit sorry for those drivers:
Research in five cities found 18 per cent of red cars were marked with deposits, followed by blue (14 per cent), black (11 per cent) and white (seven per cent).
For the cleanest ride, the best advice, appropriately, is to go green – just one per cent of that colour was smeared.
But even pity can’t stop me from writing this limerick:
This Limerick’s For The Birds
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Here’s a riveting fact about birds,
Which is likely to trigger foul words:
They like dropping their poo
Upon autos whose hue
Is red — their pet target for turds.
Ode To A Greedy Squirrel
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A squirrel who wanted some food
Did something I’d call rather rude:
He squeezed into a cage,
Ate the bird feed — not sage.
Now his tummy’s too fat to extrude.
Note: This limerick is based on a British news story about a greedy squirrel that squeezed through the bars of a “squirrel-proof” bird feeder and “gorged on so many nuts it could not squeeze back out through the bars.” The squirrel remained trapped inside, until an RSPCA Inspector used a crow-bar and grasper to widen the gap between two of the bars.
(You can find more of my pet and animal humor here and you’ll find more animal related poetry here.)
UPDATE: Happy Squirrel Appreciation Day, January 21st!
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
