I was birding alone in a park,
When it suddenly got rather dark;
Though the forecast was “clear,”
Rain and hail were now here.
This was NOT my idea of a lark.
(Happy “Bird Day” — May 4.)
Posts Tagged ‘Bird Humor’
Birding Gone Bad (Limerick)
Thursday, May 4th, 2023It’s “National Dictionary Day!” (Limerick)
Sunday, October 16th, 2022It’s “National Dictionary Day,” which gives me a good excuse to post a limerick about another new-to-me term: “Dawn Chorus.”
(For the record, all the names have been changed to protect the guilty.)
“Let’s go back to that lovely ‘Fowl Inn,’”
Said my spouse, quite forgetting its din.
’Twas no use telling Boris
(A bull-headed Taurus)
That its dawn chorus drove us to gin.
*****
Happy birthday to American lexicographer Noah Webster, of dictionary compilation fame. He was born October 16, 1758.
A Recipe For Trouble (Limerick)
Saturday, May 21st, 2022An annoying acquaintance loves roe
And dishes all covered in dough.
He’ll eat beef by the herd
And most any old bird,
But he’ll always refuse to eat crow.
This Limerick’s For The Birds
Wednesday, May 4th, 2022Saw a lovely red bird near an inn.
And that beautiful sight brought a grin
To my face, till the bird
Let loose with a turd
On my tresses — a cardinal sin!
“Bird Day,” celebrated May 4, is one of several bird-related holidays. Other bird holidays include:
National Bird Day (January 5)
Northern Parrots National Cockatiel Day (May 20)
World Parrot Day (May 31)
This Insult Won’t Fly (Limerick)
Wednesday, February 2nd, 2022Today is “World Ostrich Day.” And according to the Reid Park Zoo, the “second of February (2/2) was chosen to celebrate these unique birds because they only have two toes per foot!”
And the other interesting thing about ostriches, is that the whole “bury their head in the sand” thing is a myth. And that brings me to my latest two-verse limerick:
The ostrich’s rep has been bruised,
And ostriches aren’t amused.
We have all been misled;
They don’t bury their head
In the sand. They are falsely accused.
So if someone you know tends to hide
From the facts, shield the ostriches’ pride.
It’s time to adapt;
Find an insult more apt
Than “ostrich” with which to deride.
Aggrieved Roommate (Limericks)
Wednesday, January 5th, 2022“I’m sick of your cockatiel’s turds!
Plus it bit me again!” — angry words
From a roommate, unmuffled,
Whose feathers were ruffled.
“I’m moving. Your pet’s for the birds!”
*****
There are several bird-related holidays:
National Bird Day (January 5)
Northern Parrots National Cockatiel Day (May 20)
World Parrot Day (May 31)
Know-It-All Limerick
Wednesday, September 8th, 2021“I’ve proven you’re wrong! Now eat crow,”
Said a know-it-all fellow, named Joe,
Who could not help but howl
At the answer re fowl:
“I’m allergic to poultry, so NO!”
***** All New LIMERICK-OFF ***** Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: REST or WREST or ARREST at the end of any one line
Saturday, September 16th, 2017It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using REST or WREST or ARREST at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to GUILT, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best guilt-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on October 1, 2017, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, September 30, 2017 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A fellow attempting to rest,
Told his girlfriend, “Your parrot’s a pest!
“So it’s him or it’s me!”
“I’m setting you free,”
She responded, “Go find a new nest!”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Disempowered (Limerick)
Wednesday, January 18th, 2017We lost power. It’s fixed, but I gird
For another bad outage. My word!
It’s a jerry-rigged mend!
Will it break, or just bend
If descended upon by a bird?
Author’s Note: We lost power last night, shortly after midnight, and were the first to call Con Ed. (Apparently our neighbors go to sleep early.)
Con Ed came quickly to assess the situation and then sent back a larger crew. And 9 or 10 hours later we had a temporary repair — a couple of wires tied to trees, stretched precariously from one house to another across the street.
The temp fix doesn’t look like it could withstand even a minor winter storm, and the real repair isn’t scheduled until February 6th. Yes that’s 2.5 weeks from now. So all fingers and toes are duly crossed.
Goose Day (Limerick)
Thursday, September 29th, 2016A farmer who tried to produce
A plausible, timely excuse
For gambling away
His nest egg, today
Came up empty, self-cooking his goose.
Happy Goose Day! (September 29)
Limerick Ode To Sundry Bird Days
Wednesday, May 4th, 2016It’s time for a string of rhymed words
To acknowledge this day for the birds.
And to those who cry foul
With an anti-lim howl,
How dare you insult lim’rick nerds!
There are three separate bird days, that I know of: Bird Day, National Bird Day and Migratory Bird Day
Bird Day is today, May 4. National Bird Day falls on January 5. And Migratory Bird Day is celebrated on the second Saturday in May.
This Weather’s For The Birds! (Limerick)
Monday, March 28th, 2016Though it’s springtime, the temp’rature’s low.
It’s damp, and the wind’s all a-blow.
And I swear that I heard
These words chirped by a bird:
“For THIS I flew north? I hate snow!”
Verse for the Birds (Limerick and Quatrain)
Monday, January 5th, 2015Happy “National Bird Day!”
A birder who’d frequently swear
His toupée was in fact his real hair,
Was caught by a gust,
And his toupe, not just mussed,
Flew the coop, leaving pate rather bare.
*****
“A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.” —
People tell me that all of the time.
Such axioms give me a pain in the tush.
Were I queen, I would make them a crime.
Mucked Up Music (Limerick)
Monday, October 15th, 2012I swear that this limerick is based on an actual news item: Artist makes music with bird droppings in Liverpool.
Mucked Up Music (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Just what is a person to do
When creative ideas are few?
If your muse flew the coop,
Here’s an int’resting scoop:
Compose music by using bird poo.
This Limerick’s For The Birds
Thursday, June 21st, 2012I’ve been known to lash out against people who drive red cars:
Now I’m no scientist or statistician. I have no idea whether the color red inspires insanity in drivers, or if bad drivers are genetically attracted to it. All I know is that whenever I see a driver doing something spectacularly stupid, he’s doing it in a flaming red automobile.
But after reading this article about red cars and bird poop, I’m starting to feel a bit sorry for those drivers:
Research in five cities found 18 per cent of red cars were marked with deposits, followed by blue (14 per cent), black (11 per cent) and white (seven per cent).
For the cleanest ride, the best advice, appropriately, is to go green – just one per cent of that colour was smeared.
But even pity can’t stop me from writing this limerick:
This Limerick’s For The Birds
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Here’s a riveting fact about birds,
Which is likely to trigger foul words:
They like dropping their poo
Upon autos whose hue
Is red — their pet target for turds.
