At my age (seven-one) men don’t greet me
With catcalls or words that entreat me
To do something “wack.”
And I’m never called “snack.”
If I were, my response would be “Eat me!”
Posts Tagged ‘Battle of the Sexes’
Fun With Slang (Limerick)
Friday, July 16th, 2021Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: Locks or Lox or Lochs or Lawks at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: January 30, 2021)
Saturday, January 16th, 2021It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using Locks or Lox or Lochs or Lawks at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to Instruments, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best Instruments-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on January 31, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 30, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my Locks/Lox/Lochs/Lawks-rhyme limerick:
“See that gal over there? What a fox!”
Said a man of a woman whose locks
Were curly and long
And worthy of song.
But the rest of her? More like an ox.
And here’s my Instruments-themed limerick:
A musician I know plays the lute,
And her husband is gifted on flute.
They duet ev’ry day
On their instruments. Hey!
Your mind OUT of the gutter, you brute!
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SPELL or DISPEL OR MISSPELL at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: November 21, 2020)
Saturday, November 7th, 2020It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SPELL or DISPEL OR MISSPELL at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to CONFESSIONS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best CONFESSION-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on November 22, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, November 21, 2020 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my SPELL or DISPEL OR MISSPELL-rhyme limerick:
A pickpocket, locked in a cell,
Describes it as “nitemarish hell.”
Now the skell’s penned a book;
Hopes to sell it by hook
Or by crook. But the schnook just can’t spell.
And here’s my CONFESSIONS-themed limerick:
A fellow confessed he was bi
To his wife, who replied “I won’t lie;
I’m upset.” (Her tears flowed.)
“So here’s what I’m owed:
A three-way with you and your guy.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: Doze or Doughs or Does (the Deer kind) at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: Nov. 7, 2020)
Saturday, October 24th, 2020It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using Doze or Doughs or Does (the Deer kind) at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to DATING, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best DATING-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on November 8, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, November 7, 2020 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my DOZE/DOUGHS/DOES-rhyme limerick:
When I’m trying to sleep and can’t doze,
I count does (and not sheep.) Heaven knows
That I’d rather see deer
Cuz they’re pretty. Don’t sneer;
I know someone who chose counting crows.
And here’s my DATING-themed limerick:
A young woman both lovely and chaste
Was chased by a fellow whose taste
Runs to innocent lasses
Who never wear glasses.
She’s insightful … so he’s unembraced.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
UPDATE: NEW SUBMISSION DEADLINE: JUNE 6, 2020 at 4 p.m. (Eastern) [DUE TO NOT ENOUGH ENTRIES] Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: PEAK or PEEK or PIQUE at the end of any one line
Saturday, May 9th, 2020It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using PEAK or PEEK or PIQUE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to RUDENESS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best RUDENESS-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on June 7, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you four full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, June 6, 2020 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my PEAK/PEEK/PIQUE-rhyme limerick:
As anxieties surge to their peak,
We are called on to try not to freak.
Yes, it’s tough for us all,
And our world seems so small,
But we’re neither alone, nor unique.
And here’s my RUDENESS-themed limerick:
A fellow would cut to the chase,
Saying “Get to the point,” with no grace.
Staffers hated his ’tude,
And his boss thought him rude.
As for women he chased — they used Mace.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: BACK or ABACK at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: March 14, 2020)
Saturday, February 29th, 2020It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BACK or ABACK at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to TOYS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best TOY-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on March 15, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, March 14, 2020 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my BACK/ABACK-rhyme limerick:
I’m confused and bewildered, alack,
Cuz I can’t decide which pol to back.
Ousting Trump is a must!
But whom can we trust
To keep Donald’s eviction on track?
And here’s my TOY-themed limerick:
Whenever I hear lots of noise,
I suspect that it’s men and their toys:
A new tool, scooter, car,
Or (Oy Vey!) a GUITAR!
Loud? Annoying? It’s catnip to boys!
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: HEAD or AHEAD at the end of any one line
Saturday, September 30th, 2017It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using HEAD or AHEAD at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to GLASSES, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best GLASSES-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on October 15, 2017 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, October 14, 2017 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A fellow got mad — lost his head.
Told his girlfriend, “Get out of my bed.”
But it’s best not to vent
When you’re not paying rent.
He currently sleeps in a shed.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SIGN at the end of any one line
Saturday, December 24th, 2016It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SIGN at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to RESOLUTIONS, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best RESOLUTIONS-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on January 8, 2017, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 7, 2017 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
When a gal asked a guy, “What’s your sign?”
He responded, “You’re way out of line!
“Don’t be nosy,” he cried.
“You just blew it,” she sighed.
No one scores with that Scorpio whine.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Sea of Disappointment (Limerick)
Wednesday, June 8th, 2016A fellow was given the slip
By a woman aboard a large ship.
He’d thought her his mate —
His ocean trip fate —
But he never had time to unzip.
Happy World Oceans Day! (June 8)
A Match You Can Bank On
Monday, December 28th, 2015A woman who’d stanched the advances
Of a man she had met at some dances,
Was informed of his wealth.
Seems his grand fiscal health
Has sufficed to enhance romance chances.
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SCORE at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5
Sunday, October 11th, 2015It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using SCORE at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A singer was trying to score
With a woman who thought him a bore.
Though he tried to impress her,
He’d never undress her
Cuz hearing his voice was a chore.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: RATE or IRATE at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5
Sunday, July 19th, 2015It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using either “RATE” or “IRATE” at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A fellow was growing irate
On a date with a gal who’d debate
Over politics, food–
What she hates or finds crude.
They agreed on just this: date not great.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick Ode To “Female Viagra”
Friday, June 5th, 2015Limerick Ode To “Female Viagra”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s a “female Viagra?” Oh my!
I’ve boned up on its risks, so no-buy.
Should I need to feel horny,
The problem ain’t thorny.
No not porn! Just a flash of Mark’s thigh.
Limerick Stake (Limerick-Off Monday)
Saturday, November 8th, 2014It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow who relished his steak…*
or
A gal with a fortune at stake…*
or
A fellow was driving a stake…*
or
A fellow had promised to stake…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Stake
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gold digger, relishing steak,
Found himself in a pickle: The rake
Had far more than one wife.
Each was pointing a knife
At his torso. His prospect’s a wake.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Fretting About Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)
Saturday, October 11th, 2014It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman who tended to fret…*
or
A fellow was told not to fret…*
or
A guitarist had broken a fret…*
or
A repairman was fixing a fret…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Fretting About Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A cellist would frequently fret
Over women the minute they met.
Could he strike the right chord?
But the gals all got bored;
He was one-note — not much of a get.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Fleeing Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)
Saturday, September 6th, 2014It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was tempted to flee…*
or
A dog owner spotted a flea…*
or
A man who would not hurt a flea…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Fleeing Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was tempted to flee
While enjoying a sexual spree,
Cuz an absence of tact
Interfered with the “act”–
He distinctly heard someone’s “Tee-hee!”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Foul Limerick
Friday, September 5th, 2014Foul Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man in a very foul mood
Had caught his new wife with some dude —
A handsome young guy.
Her response, when asked why:
“He looks better than you in the nude.”
Sex Post Facto (Limerick)
Tuesday, August 19th, 2014Sex Post Facto (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
What’s the worst you can say after sex?
That question continues to vex.
But you’ll soon be a loner
With this little boner:
“You’re not even as good as my ex.”
UPDATE: June 9 is National Sex Day.
Limerick Outing (Limerick-Off Monday)
Sunday, January 5th, 2014It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman would often go out…*
or
A fellow was going all out…*
or
A woman was throwing things out…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Outing
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman would often go out
With a sad-sack who’d grimace and pout.
When her friends warned that “he’s
A wet blanket and sleaze,”
She said, “Date-wise I’m having a drought.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
