Posts Tagged ‘Battle of the Sexes’
Monday, July 31st, 2023
A man who, alas, had no game,
Was rebuffed by a cold-hearted dame:
“You’ve no shot at romance
With me. Not at chance,
Like I told you the last time you came!”
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Romance Humor, Romance Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Limericks, Romance Humor | Comments Off on Foiled Romance (Limerick)
Monday, June 26th, 2023
A fellow who’s known as a lush
Was downing his drinks in a rush.
“If I’m late,” he proclaimed,
“She who shall not be named
Says from now on she’ll ‘only serve mush!'”
Tags: Alcohol Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Drinking Humor, Drinking Limerick, Food Humor, Lateness Humor, Marriage Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor | Comments Off on Lush Limerick
Sunday, April 23rd, 2023
Delores and Bill, once an item,
Had a fight. Now she won’t even write ’im
A text saying “hi,”
Or an angry “GOODBYE!”
She explains: “Can’t abide him, so BITE ’IM!”
Tags: Battle of Sexes, Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Dating Poem, Relationship Humor, Relationship Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Limericks, Relationship Humor | 1 Comment »
Saturday, February 18th, 2023
A relentless and boorish old flirt
Seemed immune to retorts that were curt.
Subtle hints did not work
On this pestilent jerk
In his quest for what HE called “a skirt.”
Tags: Bad Behavior, Battle of Sexes, Battle of the Sexes, Boorish, Flirting Humor, Flirting Limerick, Pests
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Monday, December 12th, 2022
A gal was impressed by the thrust
Of an argument made against lust.
But the man who had made it
Had mated or dated
Each person in town with a bust.
Tags: Argument Humor, Argument Limerick, Battle of Sexes, Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Bawdy Limericks, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Lust Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Dating Humor, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, November 29th, 2022
Shortly after I signed up with Mastodon (the Twitter replacement) I was invited to join a nice group of poets who use daily prompts to inspire haiku and other short verse. My inspiration for this limerick was the “fox” prompt:
Said a gal, as she tugged at her locks,
“My marriage to Rick’s on the rocks.
The last straw was last night:
We had a huge fight
Cuz he called our new neighbor a ‘fox’”
Tags: Battle of Sexes, Battle of the Sexes, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Marriage Verse
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts | 1 Comment »
Friday, September 30th, 2022
A baker was well on his way
To a lifetime of waste and decay,
When he met a cute gal
Who said, “Listen up pal!
Straighten out, or no rolls in the hay.”
(September 30 is National Bakery Day.)
Tags: Bakery, Baking Humor, Baking Limerick, Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limericks, Behavior Humor, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Food Holidays, Food Humor, Food Limericks, Food Poem, Food Verse, Odd Holidays, Rolls Humor, Rolls Limerick, Rolls Verse, September Holidays
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Dating Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Half-Baked Limerick
Saturday, August 6th, 2022
“I’ve been faithful! You’ve NOT been deceived,”
Said a gal to her spouse. “I’m aggrieved
And can’t handle your doubts,
Accusations, and shouts!”
“Don’t worry! I’ll soon be bereaved.”
Tags: Argument Humor, Argument Limerick, Argument Verse, Battle of the Sexes, Husband and Wife Humor, Marital Relationships, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Relationship Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Relationship Humor | Comments Off on The Not So Happy Couple (Limerick)
Thursday, June 9th, 2022
“My niece Mary’s a likeable lass
Who, alas, is engaged to an ass.
Though I’ve warned her, ‘Be wary,’
She’s anxious to marry.
What I need is a ‘Hail Mary pass.'”
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Engagement Humor, Engagement Limerick, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Limerick, Hail Mary Pass, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Relationship Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Idiom Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, April 27th, 2022
The aptly named newlywed, Dick,
Refers to his bride as a “chick”
And never extols her.
He boasts he “controls her”
By using “both carat and stick.”
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Relationship Humor, Relationship Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Family & Relatives Humor, Idiom Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Relationship Humor | Comments Off on A Dickish Limerick
Thursday, April 21st, 2022
“I don’t mind that my new husband hoards
His numerous fencing awards.
But his weapon collection
Incites my objection…
And that’s where we often cross swords.”
Tags: Awards Humor, Awards Limerick, Battle of the Sexes, Fencing Humor, Fencing Limerick, Hoarding Humor, Hoarding Limerick, Idioms Humor, Idioms Limerick, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Swords Humor, Swords Limerick, Weapons Humor, Weapons Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Idiom Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor | Comments Off on NOT On The Fence (Limerick)
Friday, December 17th, 2021
When I learn a new word like “jorts,” I feel compelled to use it in a limerick:
“Don’t you dare wear those frumpy old jorts,”
A gal to her husband exhorts.
“Making shorts out of jeans
Is a well-designed means
To induce me to take to the courts.”
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Clothing Humor, Clothing Limerick, Jeans Humor, Jorts Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Legal Limerick, Marriage Humor, Shorts Humor, Style Humor, Style Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Clothing Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Physical Appearance | Comments Off on Out Of Sorts About “Jorts” (Limerick)
Thursday, December 2nd, 2021
“Your new flame always stinks like a stable.
He drinks ev’ryone under the table.
Mabel, what’s the allure?
He’s unstable, for sure.
Worst of all, he wears fur made of sable!”
Tags: Advice Humor, Advice Limerick, Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Limericks, Relationship Humor | Comments Off on A Bad Match (Limerick)
Tuesday, November 30th, 2021
“Though it’s fine that my boyfriend is naughty,
A bit bossy and bad-ass and dotty,
His obsession with bots
Has me tied up in knots.
So I can’t tie the knot with that hottie.”
Tags: Bad Behavior, Battle of the Sexes, Bot Humor, Bot Limerick, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Technology Humor, Technology Limerick, Tying The Knot
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Computer Humor, Dating Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Technology Humor | Comments Off on A Knotty Issue (Limerick)
Saturday, November 20th, 2021
“Wet clothes in the hamper? That’s foul!”
Said a gal to her spouse, with a scowl.
“What is wrong with you men!?
If you do it again,
I’ll divorce you and throw in the towel.”
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Clothes Humor, Clothes Limerick, Clothing Limerick, Cothing Humor, Divorce Humor, Divorce Limerick, Hamper Humor, Hamper Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Laundry Humor, Laundry Limerick, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Relationship Humor, Relationship Limerick, Relatives Humor, Relatives Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Clothing Humor, Idiom Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Relationship Humor | Comments Off on A Hampered Relationship (Limerick)
Saturday, November 6th, 2021
Happy “Sax Day!” And happy birthday to Adolphe Sax, its inventor! (November 6)
A horny musician named Phil
When flirting would trumpet his skill.
But he mispronounced “sax,”
The name of his ax,
So his chance of romance went downhill.
Tags: Adolphe Sax, Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Inventions Poem, Inventors, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, National Saxophone Day, November Holidays, Odd Holidays, Sax Day, Sax Humor, Sax Limerick, Saxophone Day, Saxophone Humor, Saxophone Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Inventions Humor, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Celebrating Sax (Limerick)
Monday, November 1st, 2021
Ev’ry day when I rise, hubby greets me
With political news, which depletes me.
He’s eager to share it,
But I just can’t bear it,
Cuz pre-caffeine info defeats me.
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Caffeine Humor, Caffeine Limerick, Coffee Drinks Humor, Coffee Humor, Coffee Limerick, Food and Drink, Husband Wife Humor, Marriage Humor, Media Humor, Media Limerick, News Humor, News Limerick, Personal Humor, Political Humor, Timing Humor, Timing Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Media Humor, Personal, Political Satire, Relationship Humor, Social Media Humor | Comments Off on When I Rise, I Don’t Shine (Limerick)
