Posts Tagged ‘Bakery’

A Cooked Up Complaint? (Limerick)

Thursday, February 9th, 2023

A lawyer whose molar was aching
Lambasted a bakery’s baking:
Said his tooth had been marred
By a dangerous shard—
A shakedown, methinks, in the making.

(National Toothache Day falls on February 9.)

Half-Baked Limerick

Friday, September 30th, 2022

A baker was well on his way
To a lifetime of waste and decay,
When he met a cute gal
Who said, “Listen up pal!
Straighten out, or no rolls in the hay.”

(September 30 is National Bakery Day.)

Half-Baked Plan (Multi-Verse Limerick)

Thursday, July 11th, 2013

Half-Baked Plan (Multi-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A baker would frequently groan
About needing a sizable loan
To build up a co
That would make her some dough,
In a quite disagreeable tone.

Her fam’ly kept warning her: “Groans
Simply aren’t conducive to loans.
You must demonstrate spine
And you never should whine.
Why not bribe all the lenders with scones?”

She brought some fresh scones to the bank.
They were primo — she had them to thank
For an influx of cash.
So she threw a big bash
And got baked — ended up in the tank.

Hung over, she signed a bad lease;
Her new landlord sure knew how to fleece.
And business was dicey,
The scones way too pricey–
Her sale price was ten bucks a piece.

So her scone bus’ness quickly went under,
Her finances torn quite asunder.
“My expenses have grown,”
She’d moan on the phone
To her funder, who groaned, “What a blunder!”

Tasty Limerick

Monday, May 16th, 2011

I’m always looking for fun ways to jumpstart my muse. A new favorite is this Serendipitous Oxymoron writing prompt generator over at the Writing Fix. Just a couple of clicks can pair you up with an amusing or thought-provoking oxymoron. For instance, today it gave me “Tasty Tragedy,” which inspired this limerick:

Tasty Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The baker delivered his cake,
As the bride yelled, “I’ve made a mistake!”
She canceled her vows.
But that cake sure got wows,
As the wedding turned into a wake.

UPDATE: November 26th is National Cake Day.

Tastes and Sounds (Haiku and Tanka)

Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011

Feverish hostess
serves chickpeas dropped on the floor—
a guest spills the beans.

*****

Sick party-goer
coughs and sneezes on buffet—
chilly reception.

*****

The corner bakeshop
seems a buttery temptress,
but smells can deceive.
Pastries seduce, disappoint—
buttery temptress no more.

*****

My first memory:
the sound and the vibration
of a freight train’s roar.
Budding logic says, “Can’t be.”
Sensed pre-birth within the womb?

*****

(My second haiku was inspired by Haiku Heights’ cold prompt. My first memory tanka was inspired by Free Write Fridays and Monday Memories.)