Some drivers don’t signal at all
And will speed right through stop signs. What gall!
Some honk for no reason,
Treat merge-tries like treason,
And, on purpose, drive ME up the wall.
Posts Tagged ‘Automobile Humor’
Driven Mad (Limerick)
Friday, May 6th, 2022Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: VEER or SEVERE or REVERE or PERSEVERE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: January 4, 2020)
Saturday, December 7th, 2019It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using VEER or SEVERE or REVERE or PERSEVERE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SNOW, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best snow-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on January 5, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you four full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 4, 2020 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my VEER-rhyme limerick:
When you’re driving your car, please don’t veer;
Sudden moves tend to fill me with fear.
Steer carefully, please.
Ouch my elbow! My knees!
We’ve arrived? I’m still living? Hear, hear!
And here’s my SNOW-themed limerick:
The weatherman’s acting excited:
New York City’s about to be smited
With a snow storm real big,
Which I really don’t dig.
And just why must he look so delighted?
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: PAIRS or PEARS or PARES or REPAIRS or PREPARES or COMPARES at the end of any one line
Saturday, November 17th, 2018It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using PAIRS or PEARS or PARES or REPAIRS or PREPARES or COMPARES at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to THEFT, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best THEFT-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on December 2, 2018 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 1, 2018 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
It appears that my car needs repairs;
From the noise, you would swear that some bears
Are marauding inside,
Which ain’t good for the ride…
And impairs surreptitious affairs.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Ode To Strivers (Limerick)
Friday, September 8th, 2017An award quite prestigious was given
To a man who had earnestly striven.
Hard work was no bar,
For the prize was a car,
And the diligent fellow was driven.
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: Buy/Bye/By/Bi at the end of any one line
Saturday, April 1st, 2017It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using Buy/Bye/By/Bi at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to Clumsiness, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best Clumsiness-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on April 16, 2017 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 15, 2017 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here are my TWO limericks:
We are trying to find a good buy
On a car, and we’re desperate. Why?
Cuz our Camry was drowned,
And drenched engines (we’ve found)
Don’t rebound but, instead, fry and die.
and
A cute-looking man sauntered by,
Spun around and returned, saying “hi.”
Then he lured me with lore,
Stories hard to ignore,
And I ended up wed to the guy.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Turning Mark’s Blizzard Tale Into A Limerick
Thursday, January 28th, 2016Mark recently posted his tale of blizzardy absent-mindedness here on Facebook. (Yes, I know “blizzardy” isn’t a word.) And I’ve decided to sum it up in a limerick:
My husband once did something whack;
Left his car window open a crack
In a blizzard, alas.
Snow flew over the glass
And got packed to the top, front to back.
Limerick Ode To The GPS
Monday, March 19th, 2012Every so often, I read about someone who blindly obeys his car’s GPS and ends up under water. Here’s the latest incident, involving common sense-challenged Japanese tourists who try to drive to an island.
Limerick Ode To The GPS
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If your car’s GPS tells you, “Go,”
But there’s water ahead, you should know
That it’s better to park.
Check your map. Find an ark.
Or else gear up for driving in l’eau.
UPDATE: April 5 is Read A Road Map Day.
Nabbed By A Typo (Limerick)
Thursday, March 8th, 2012A teachable moment: When committing crimes, be sure to use spell-check:
Nabbed By A Typo (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man may end up in a cell
Cuz his parking permit had a tell:
There was one extra letter
In “parking.” It’s better
When forging to learn how to spell.
(This is based on an actual news story: A driver in Hoboken, New Jersey forged a parking permit on his home computer. He might have even gotten away with his scam, had he not spelled “parking” as “parkting.”)
Lame Limerick
Monday, July 12th, 2010I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A guy with his foot in a cast…
Here’s mine:
Lame Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A guy with his foot in a cast
Was driving his car way too fast.
His wheel struck a hole.
He lost all control,
And the time for a cast was surpassed.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
One Car Guaranty I’d Gladly Forgo
Monday, December 10th, 2007One Car Guaranty I’d Gladly Forgo
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Those dents seem to come right on cue
A few days from your auto’s debut.
A scratch or a nick
Will show up mighty quick.
How do dents know your car’s spanking new?
(You can find more of my car and driving humor here.)
(Inspired by this dent prompt.)
NOTE: There’s still time to give my first limerick and haiku prompt a try.
Practice, Practice, Practice
Friday, February 2nd, 2007Practice, Practice, Practice
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The teacher called out from his car:
“Ma’am, your daughter’s a driver’s ed star.
Her steering’s quite deft,
She knows right turns from left,
And, with practice, she’s bound to go far.”
Tow Guy Blues
Tuesday, August 29th, 2006I should put my local tow guy on a yearly retainer. Here’s a typical conversation:
Me: Hi, it’s me, Madeleine Kane. Guess whose husband left the lights on again. My address is…
Tow Guy: Still have you down from last week. Have you considered our frequent user plan? … (Tow Guy Blues is continued here.)
Drivers Who Make Me See Red
Thursday, August 10th, 2006I probably shouldn’t admit this, but I’m prejudiced against people who drive red cars.
Yes, I know — bias is bad, and I’m very ashamed. But in my defense, let me add that RED CAR DRIVERS ARE LUNATICS.
Oops, did I say that? Sorry! I promise that from now on I’ll stop maligning those CERTIFIABLE MANIACS CAREENING AROUND IN BRIGHT RED AUTOMOBILES. … (Drivers Who Make Me See Red is continued here.)
