An artist named Hugh would imbue
All his paintings with one fav’rite hue:
Mostly teal with a touch
Of turquoise and such.
Mocked at first, fame came out of the blue.
*****
Happy “International Artists Day!” (Celebrated each year on October 25)
Posts Tagged ‘Art Humor’
The Colorful Artist (Limerick)
Tuesday, October 25th, 2022A Major Confrontation (Limerick)
Friday, August 5th, 2022When a gal switched her major to art,
Her parents’ responses were tart:
“Paying bills is a bitch,
So you’d best marry rich.”
“Are you planning to clerk at the mart?”
Sketchy Artist (Limerick)
Wednesday, October 6th, 2021A sketch artist’s drawings were raw
And flawed, rarely gazed at with awe.
Yet he won an award
For his “Gourd With A Sword.”
Fellow artists swore: “Luck of the Draw!”
Color Me Confused (Limerick)
Friday, August 2nd, 2019A coloring book meant for those
Who ain’t kids anymore? Heaven knows
Why the market’s gone mad
With this dubious fad.
I’ll be sticking with lim’ricks and prose.
Happy National Coloring Book Day! (August 2)
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: FUSED/CONFUSED or EYES at the end of any one line
Sunday, April 7th, 2019It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using FUSED/CONFUSED or EYES at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.) (Yes, I’m allowing TWO different rhyme schemes in this contest because fused/confused has fewer rhyme words than usual.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to LEMONS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best LEMON-related limerick. (For those outside of the U.S., who may possibly not know this, LEMONS can be much more than a citrus fruit.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on April 21, 2019, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 20, 2019 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick, which uses both rhyme schemes:
I stared at a painting, confused;
Yes, bewildered, perplexed, and bemused.
“It’s insightful!” “It’s wise!”
“He paints with his eyes!”
(Said by fans — I surmise they were boozed.)
And here’s my LEMON-themed limerick, a two-verser:
A fellow was beaming with pride
Cuz he’d purchased a flashy new ride.
But he speedily found
That his car wasn’t sound
And was facing a recall world-wide.When he drove it, the engine soon died.
Then he learned its transmission was fried.
His lemony car
Made him go way too far…
And for murder he soon shall be tried.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: FRAME at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5
Saturday, September 17th, 2016It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using FRAME at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to EXERCISE, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best EXERCISE-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on October 2, 2016 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, October 1, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
An artist was caught in a frame,
Which painted him worthy of blame;
When a woman was killed,
Some blood that was spilled
Helped to pigment his portrait “Dead Dame.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: LEAN or LIEN at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5
Sunday, July 24th, 2016It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using either LEAN or LIEN at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to BOREDOM, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best boredom-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on August 7, 2016, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, August 6, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
Figurines by the teenage Colleen
Were censored and labeled obscene.
Though they did land a show,
The young artist can’t go;
Seems her work’s too “adult” and “unclean.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Sundry Haiku
Saturday, July 11th, 2015I’d like the freedom
to not write haiku today,
but my brain insists.
*****
I am at the stage
where I like being on stage
with or without one.
*****
My near-rhyme rejects
turned limerick leftovers
find homes in haiku.
*****
I’m often impressed
by the drawing power
of unknown painters.
*****
Forgive and forget?
I keep meaning to forgive,
but I forget to.
*****
Your belief system
makes you feel superior?
Then it’s failing you.
*****
My muse goes yonder
as I wander in wonder
at time I squander.
*****
Spiders and crawlers
are welcome in my domain
if sent by Google.
*****
I should have prepared
for extemporization
but ran out of time.
*****
Music needs pauses;
I get restless when a piece
doesn’t have any.
*****
A “Really Big Shew” Of A Crime (Limerick)
Saturday, October 4th, 2014A “Really Big Shew” of A Crime (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A crisis had come to a head
And a torso and legs. Tears were shed,
Cuz some soon-to-be cons
Stole Ed Sullivan’s bronze.
But don’t fret — they’ve reclaimed AWOL Ed.
Yes, Ed Sullivan fans can breathe sighs of relief: “Los Angeles police have found the missing bronze statue of the renowned American TV personality, four days after it was stolen from the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences.”
Is “Bad, Bad Boy” Bad, Bad Art? (Limerick)
Tuesday, July 30th, 2013Some Swedes ain’t sweet on this sculpture:
Each summer the city of Örebro becomes a canvas for international artists to present their work as part of the Örebro Open Art exhibition. This year, one particular sculpture has caused quite a stir since its installation on the banks of the River Svartån.
The provocative piece is an eight-metre high sculpture of a nude male figure urinating into the river…
“Bad Bad Boy” by Finnish artist Tommi Toija stands towering over the river bank with his disproportionate body: lanky and topped with an over-sized, round, bald head. His skin, made from clay, is a blistering sunburnt-pink, and his wide-eyed facial expression is as hard to decipher as the art itself.
Is “Bad, Bad Boy” Bad, Bad Art? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A sculpture’s creating a stir—
The “Bad, Bad Boy” pissing monsieur:
As it pees in the river,
The folks are aquiver.
Is it art? Connoisseurs may demur.
Hairy Art (Limerick)
Thursday, May 2nd, 2013Hairy Art
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though some artists make art out of rubble,
Only one went to hairier trouble:
He sculpted (I swear)
His sculpture from hair:
An artwork from one speck of stubble.
Its minuteness is way off the chart.
Want to view it? A microscope’s smart.
I don’t mean to be gruff,
But is weirdness enough?
This speck-sculpture’s too fine to be art.
*****
You can read about and see a photo of Willard Wigan’s stubble sculpture here. As the article explains:
Willard Wigan hollowed out a spec of face hair and used a miniscule flake of gold to create the tiny motorbike artwork.
Visible only through a microscope, the chopper — which measures three microns — is smaller than a human blood cell.
A Limerick Mistake (Limerick-Off Monday)
Sunday, August 5th, 2012It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow had made a mistake…*
or
A woman had made a mistake…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
A Limerick Mistake
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow had made a mistake:
Paid big bucks for a painting — a fake.
“This picture’s real good,”
He said, “Gothic, by Wood.”
But the tool in the pic was a rake.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
How To Visit An Art Museum (Humor Column)
Thursday, May 17th, 2012May 18th is International Museum Day, a holiday founded by ICOM (International Council of Museums) in 1977. So I figured this was as good a time as any for me to post my How To Visit An Art Museum
HOW TO VISIT AN ART MUSEUM
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There are many good reasons to visit an art museum. Impressing a date. Vying for a slot in the cultural elite. Some people actually go because they appreciate art. If you’re a novice art fan, this is how it’s done:
1. Your virgin museum visit should take place while you’re out of town. That way, your displays of ignorance will be witnessed only by strangers.
2. When you’re a safe distance from home, ask a concierge, cabby, or vagrant to suggest a show. It doesn’t matter whom you ask. At any given time, the entire population of any given city is racing to see some highly hyped, limited-engagement exhibit which is over tomorrow. This is the show everyone will recommend.
3. Arrive at the museum blissfully unaware that the show’s been sold out for months. Do so by car. In order to save time, drop your spouse off to buy tickets. Spend an hour touring the parking lot. Worry about what your mate will do to you when and if you ever see her again.
4. Coax your car into a quasi-legal spot. Sprint towards a distant building which presumably houses art. Remind yourself, once again, to join a gym.
5. Encounter an unruly mob of art aficionados awaiting admission. Hear rumors that the exhibit is sold out. Ascertain rumors are true. Curse out museum. Curse out vagrant. Wonder how you’ll ever locate diminutive spouse in horde of lanky art lovers. Wonder whether finding her is such a good idea.
6. Encounter a couple arguing about whether to leave. One mate insists this is no way to see art. (You’re inclined to agree.) The other gripes about the wasted admission cost. Save their marriage by purchasing tickets.
7. Wend your way through throngs in quest of spouse. Miraculously find her commiserating with sisterhood of women who lost mates to parking lot abyss. Proudly display tickets just as spouse proudly displays hers.
8. Talk about selling extra tickets. Argue that you should have checked with each other before buying tickets. Talk about selling all four tickets and abandoning art for a mall.
9. Notice that one pair of tickets is for one o’clock show and the other isn’t good until four. Decide that since it’s nearly one now, you’ll worry about unloading second set later.
10. Find out the museum is two hours behind schedule; you won’t make it beyond lobby before three. Ask yourselves, yet again, why exactly you came.
11. Wait on line. Learn it’s the wrong line. Fight way onto another line which will presumably get you into exhibit you no longer want to see.
12. Wait another half-hour in sweltering firetrap. Ask spouse to save your place on line while you contend with the coat-check. Dispose of jackets. Ask guard what kind of lunatic runs the museum.
13. Reclaim spot in front of spouse. Ignore belligerent patrons, badgering you to go to the end of the line.
14. Gain entry into crammed room that ostensibly holds priceless works of art. Strain neck in vain attempt to view paintings. Get a random glimpse of what may or may not be an Impressionistic work. Watch height-impaired spouse try to crawl her way to the front. Rescue her from enraged mob.
15. Overhear artsy noises about the exhibit. Comments like “Pointillism is a lot like connect the dots.” After an hour of this, gratefully spy an exit sign — the only mounted object in plain view.
16. Consider using the museum restrooms until you see the lines. Embark on parking lot trek, praying your car hasn’t been ticketed or towed.
When you return home, you’ll want to impress family and friends with your new found erudition. So don’t leave the museum without lots of literature. Then be sure to study the brochures and reviews intently … so you can describe every painting you failed to see.
Tanka Tuesday
Tuesday, July 19th, 2011I took a break from limerick writing to write this pair of tanka:
When haiku won’t do,
when thoughts defy compression
and can’t be contained
in seventeen syllables,
give thanks to plus-sized tanka.
********
Some art inspires
tears, joy, admiration, love.
Some awakens thought.
And some makes one want to ask:
“Whatever were you thinking?”
********
Naked Verse
Sunday, October 3rd, 2010It’s time for another Limerick-Off. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A naked young woman named May…
Here’s mine:
Naked Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A naked young woman named May
Posed for art classes nude ev’ry day.
She enjoyed being sketched
And liked sculpture, but kvetched
Herself hoarse posing naked on hay.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!
