Hug A Plumber Day? Why?!? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Whenever I deal with a plumber,
It’s rather a strain and a bummer.
As problems keep flowing,
My agita’s growing.
I’ve a leak that’s seen more than one summer.
April 25 is Hug A Plumber Day.
I’m sensing the usual stress–
Nothing more, but alas, nothing less.
“Stress Awareness Day’s” here–
Not a day that I’d cheer.
Screw “awareness!” I’d rather repress.
My life has a terrible flaw;
I’m adrift and off course — in a yaw.
I’ve concluded that humor’s
No job for this boomer.
It’s time to return to the law.
Happy April Fools’ Day!
Limerick Ode To Roget’s Thesaurus
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Serenade, sing, belt out, croon in chorus:
Happy Birthday to Roget’s Thesaurus,
Sterling word-meister’s brew,
Published Eighteen-Five-Two
In late April. The tome is a Taurus!
(Dr. Peter Mark Roget released his ground-breaking English-language word reference book, Roget’s Thesaurus, to the public on April 29, 1852.)
Wavering Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Shall I mention this day? Yea, or nay?
Can’t decide which opinion holds sway.
So I’m stuck on the brink.
Let me know what you think
About noting Ambivalence Day.
(Ambivalence Day is April 24.)
Mark (unlike me) follows the Passover dietary rules. And now that the end’s in sight, he’s practically panting in anticipation of pizza and pasta.
Pasta Dreams (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My husband’s excitement is rising.
His mood’s leavened, which isn’t surprising.
Cuz Passover week
Is soon ending its streak;
Bread and pasta-decriminalizing.
Happy “Nosy Neighbor Appreciation Day!” Yes there’s really such a day, though I’m pretty sure this isn’t what they’re talking about:
Nosy Neighbor Appreciation Day (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man with a habit of peeping
Into homes while their owners are sleeping
Was arrested and tried.
His appeal’s been denied.
Now he’s jailed for his neighbors’ safekeeping.
Passing Over Some Rules (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though I’m Jewish, I’m still eating bread
And refuse to munch matzo instead.
I spurn rules all the time,
Except canons of rhyme
And of meter … so don’t be misled.
May your seder be lovely,
A holiday treat.
May it not be too late
Till you finally eat.
Happy Passover to all who celebrate it!
Limerick Ode To Tweed Day (April 3)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though it’s “Tweed Day,” don’t rush to conclude
It’s a fabric allusion — that’s skewed,
For I’ve just gotten word
That this day, April 3rd,
Is a birthday — Boss Tweed’s — sleazy dude!
A Fool’s Errand? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s alarmingly easy to lose
One’s sense of what’s true, so peruse
With great caution tales spun–
And not JUST April One.
There’s disinfo galore in the news.
Stiffed (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A collector was conned by a scam;
His “antique” poker chips were a sham.
So he decked the old dealer
And called him a “stealer,”
Which is one way to get a grand slam.
UPDATE: April 9 is Cherish An Antique Day.
A striking headline: Train Runs Over Couple Having Sex on Tracks.
When Sex Is A Train Wreck (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There are folks who like sex when it’s risky.
Taking chances can make them quite frisky.
But sex on the tracks,
Is mad to the max.
Their coitus, I’d guess, involved whiskey.
Update: April 23 is “Take A Chance Day.”
Karaoke isn’t my thing because my singing voice is lousy. (Alas, there’s no connection between being able to play the oboe and having a dulcet singing voice.)
But since it’s National Karaoke Week (celebrated each year during the 4th week of April) I couldn’t resist posting this silly limerick:
Limerick Ode To Karaoke
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There are people whose singing is croaky.
Some are pitchy — too high or too low-key.
But no matter your voice,
Almost all can rejoice
In this musical fun: Karaoke.
I’ll bet you didn’t know that April 18th is Idiom Idiocy Day. How do you celebrate it? By using idioms amusingly in verse, jokes, or short prose.
Limerick Ode To Idiom Idiocy Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was biding his time
And refusing to get off the dime.
He was dragging his feet
And could not take the heat.
His idiom use? It’s a crime!
Author’s Note: Idiom Idiocy Day is a brand new annual holiday established by none other than MOI. Why? Because it doesn’t exist, and it NEEDS to.
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was starting to rue…*
or
A woman was starting to rue…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Rueful Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was starting to rue
His decision to holler his boo
At a Will Shakespeare play.
What ensued was a fray:
About nothing, he feared, much ado.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
UPDATE: April 23 is Talk Like Shakespeare Day.
Weathering Spring (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I wonder just what is the reason
Why spring’s such an ornery season.
First it’s cold, then it’s hot,
Then it’s icy, then not —
Makes me ask whether spring is just teasin’.
(Think Tank Thursday prompts us to wonder.)
Are you all ready for National Pet Owners Independence Day?
A gal who’d been cleaning was jarred
By some leaves just dragged in from her yard.
Displaying a broom,
She yelled, “Sweep up this room!”
To her dog. (Guess she’s working too hard.)
Passover practice:
Cut leavening from your bread.
Add it to your life.
April’s a big month for poets — National Poetry Month. This means that instead of simply enjoying spring, poets drive themselves extra crazy by vowing to write a poem a day.
My first April effort was this week’s Limerick-Off challenge. Only 29 poems to go.
Here’s a limerick for Day 2:
Happy National Poetry Month! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
April’s Poetry Month. Say “Hurray,”
As we vow to write verse ev’ry day.
But that promise is hard,
For this limerick-bard.
Cuz, alas, I have nothing to say.
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
