“Here today, gone tomorrow — life’s short.
So follow your dream,” some exhort.
But others may say,
“Dreams can lead you astray.”
(A retort that could lead to a tort.)
Posts Tagged ‘Annoying Advice’
Unsolicited Advice (Limerick)
Sunday, August 8th, 2021Tags: Advice Humor, Advice Limerick, Ambition Humor, Ambition Verse, Annoying Advice, Aphorism Humor, Law Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Legal Limerick, Tort Verse
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Aphorisms, Behavior & Personality, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on Unsolicited Advice (Limerick)
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: HAIL or HALE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: July 18, 2020)
Saturday, July 4th, 2020It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using HAIL or HALE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to WRITER’S BLOCK, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best WRITER’S BLOCK-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on July 19, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, July 18, 2020 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my Hail/Hale-rhyme limerick:
“Are you ailing? You look very pale;
Not your usual hardy and hale.”
“No, I think I’ll be fine,
Once I’ve guzzled some wine.
Seems I’ve just had my first taste of kale.”
And here’s my Writer’s Block-themed limerick:
My muse has, alas, gone on strike;
At best, it has taken a hike.
And I won’t say this twice —
I don’t want your advice:
Writing AIN’T just like riding a bike!
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Annoying Advice, Competition Limerick, Food Humor, Health, Kale, Kale Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Muse, Poetry & Prompts, Writer, Writer's Block, Writing Prompts
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Writing & Publishing Humor | 145 Comments »
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: BILL at the end of any one line
Saturday, April 28th, 2018It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BILL at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to BEAUTY, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best BEAUTY-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on May 13, 2018 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, May 12, 2018 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
“Trust me, ev’rything’s fine, so just chill,
Because when there’s a way, there’s a will.”
“But you’ve got them reversed;
The ‘will’ thing comes first.”
“See? Already I’ve helped! Here’s my bill.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Advice Limerick, Annoying Advice, Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Money Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 152 Comments »
Unwanted Advice (Limerick)
Saturday, September 9th, 2017Giving people unwanted advice
Is a vice I’d avoid; it ain’t nice.
Don’t presume to know more,
Lest you sound like a bore.
“Words of wisdom?” Best keep them on ice.
Tags: Advice Limerick, Annoying Advice
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Tweeting The Unconventional (Limerick)
Wednesday, May 4th, 2016Biz advice from a mogul, by tweet:
Women eyeing that large corner suite
Should hike skirts up and wear
Bright colors. I swear
It ain’t Trump, but Barb Corc’ran. Delete!
Here’s the article that inspired this limerick: “Barbara Corcoran to female entrepreneurs: Hike up your skirts.”
Tags: Advice Limerick, Annoying Advice, Barbara Corcoran, Business Humor, Donald Trump, Entrepreneur Humor, Mogul Humor, Shark Tank, Social Media Poetry, Twitter Humor
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Business Humor, Limericks, Social Media Humor, Twitter Humor | Comments Off on Tweeting The Unconventional (Limerick)
A Lemon Of A Limerick
Wednesday, August 20th, 2014A Lemon Of A Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Turn lemons to lemonade?” Ugh!
Such advice sounds to me oh so smug.
No I won’t sugar-coat,
Cuz it sticks in my throat.
But turn lemons to lim’ricks? We’ll hug.
Happy National Lemonade Day! (For some odd reason, it’s celebrated both on August 20th and on the first Sunday of May.)
Tags: Advice, Annoying Advice, Aphorism Humor, August Holidays, Drink Verse, Fruit Limerick, Lemonade, Lemons, Maxims, May Holidays, National Lemonade Day, Odd Holidays, Optimism, Pessimism
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Aphorisms, Behavior & Personality, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Self-Help Humor | 3 Comments »
Odes To Roger Ebert, Ed Koch, Van Cliburn, & “Dear Abby” Columnist Pauline Phillips
Thursday, January 30th, 2014This week’s Style Invitational features the witty winning entries in its contest for poems that commemorate people who died in 2013. Here are my non-winning ditties about Roger Ebert, New York City Mayor Ed Koch, concert pianist Van Cliburn, and “Dear Abby” columnist Pauline Phillips:
Roger Ebert:
For films that were plums,
Way up went his thumbs.
When downward they’d roam,
You’d know to stay home.
*****
Mayor Edward Koch:
This mayor rescued NYC
From near-financial ruin;
Ed Koch his name, his fav’rite game
Was asking “How’m I doin’?”
*****
Pauline Friedman Phillips a/k/a Abigail Van Buren:
“Dear Abby” was her column
Telling readers what to do.
Give your friends that very counsel?
That’s an act you’ll surely rue.
*****
Van Cliburn:
In a world-wide Moscow contest
Van Cliburn sure impressed.
But this USA pianist
Had the piano judges stressed.
They felt that he deserved to win
And so with trepidation
They asked Nikita, “Can we please
Give Cliburn top ovation?”
Mr. Khrushchev gave an answer
That surprised them. It was wise:
“If Van Cliburn played the very best,
Then give that man first prize.”
So a classical musician
Helped achieve a cold war thaw:
An American in Russia
Playing piano past a draw.
Tags: Annoying Advice, Celebrity Humor, Dear Abby, Ed Koch, Musician Humor, New York City, Obit Humor, Obituary Humor, Pauline Phillips, Pianist Humor, Piano Humor, Roger Ebert, Television Humor, Van Cliburn
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Celebrity Humor, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Obit Verse, Television (TV) Humor | 1 Comment »
Acidic Tanka
Thursday, February 24th, 2011Every so often I break into tanka:
Acidic Tanka
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Pithy recipe:
Turn lemons to lemonade.
Don’t mean to be tart,
Acid, ill-natured, sour—
But sugarcoating’s tasteless.
(Prompted by lemon prompt over at Poets United.)
UPDATE: August 20th is National Lemonade Day.
Tags: Advice, Annoying Advice, Aphorism Humor, August Holidays, Lemonade, Lemons, Maxims, National Lemonade Day, Odd Holidays, Optimism, Pessimism, Poets United, Tanka, Writing Prompts
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Aphorisms, Odd Holidays, Self-Help Humor, Tanka | 7 Comments »
Annoying Advice Poetry Prompt (Limerick and Haiku Prompt 1)
Saturday, December 8th, 2007I’ve been having so much fun drawing inspiration from poetry prompts, that I thought I’d launch my own. And since I’m seriously (and unseriously) into limericks and haiku, I’m focusing on those two forms.
Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) on this week’s theme: Annoying Advice. When your poem’s taken root, please return to this post and add a direct link to your themed poem.
Here’s my Annoying Advice limerick:
Chin Up
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Keep your chin up, and things will be fine.
Just act brave. Do not bitch, flinch, or whine.
You have the right stuff.
You just have to hang tough.”
Does anyone fall for that line?
And here’s my Annoying Advice haiku:
When somebody says
“You sure you want to do that?”
Doubt perversely fades.
UPDATE: Happy Cliché Day, November 3rd!
Tags: Annoying Advice, Cliché Day, Clichés Humor, Limerick and Haiku Prompts, November Holidays, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Cliché Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts | 18 Comments »
