Posts Tagged ‘Animal Verse’
Saturday, April 29th, 2023
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BEAR or BARE at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to PREPARATION, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best PREPARATION-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: RATING, BRAVE, BROAD, APPLE, QUARRELSOME.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on May 28, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, May 27, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my BEAR/BARE-Rhyme Limerick:
A generous fellow named Jack
Likes to give folks the shirt off his back.
But he doesn’t stop there;
He’ll undress until bare…
Which alas, got the poor man the sack.
And here’s my PREPARATION-Themed Limerick:
By now, we all know it’s essential
To prepare for a rainstorm torrential.
But at times, though we’re careful,
We end up despairful.
Never lowball a downpour’s potential!
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
A quarrelsome broad known as Maude
Would always refuse to applaud.
And no matter how great
A show was, she’d rate
It a “C,” then berate it as flawed.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Animal Verse, Bears Humor, Competition Limerick, Criticism Humor, Critics Humor, Limerick Challenge, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Preparation Humor, Reviews Humor, Reviews Limerick, Weather Humor, Weather Limerick, Weather Poem, Writing Competitions
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Behavior & Personality, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Music Reviews, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Theater Reviews, Weather Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | 136 Comments »
Sunday, November 27th, 2022
A fellow who frequently jogs
Tripped over some badly placed logs.
He fell down, hit his noggin,
Which ended his joggin’.
His new hobby is verse about “frogs.”
Tags: Animal Verse, Frogs Humor, Frogs Limerick, Hobby Humor, Jogging Humor, Jogging Limerick, Writing Humor, Writing Limericks
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Hobbies Humor, Limericks, Outdoors Humor, Sports Humor, Writing & Publishing Humor | Comments Off on The Ex-Jogger (Limerick)
Saturday, September 22nd, 2018
There once was a newlywed rhino
Who discovered her mate was a wino.
“We’re endangered,” she’d curse.
“Your damn wine makes it worse!”
“White wine’s fine,” he replied. “I’m albino.”
(My first rhino limerick is here. It’s included in the International Poetry Anthology For Rhino in a Shrinking World.)
Happy World Rhino Day! (September 22)
Tags: Animal & Pet Humor, Animal Verse, May Holidays, Odd Holidays, Poetry Anthologies, Rhino In A Shrinking World, Rhinoceros Limerick, Save The Rhino Day, September Holidays, World Rhino Day
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Books, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Poetry Books | 2 Comments »
Thursday, September 29th, 2016
A farmer who tried to produce
A plausible, timely excuse
For gambling away
His nest egg, today
Came up empty, self-cooking his goose.
Happy Goose Day! (September 29)
Tags: Animal & Pet Humor, Animal Verse, Bird Humor, Gambling Limerick, Gambling Verse, Geese Humor, Goose Day, Goose Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Money Verse, Odd Holidays, September Holidays
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Gambling & Gaming Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Goose Day (Limerick)
Saturday, July 16th, 2016
Happy World Snake Day! (July 16)
A man was beginning to grasp
The danger of bites from an asp.
A thought bubble snaked
Through his brainwaves half-baked:
“Pet asp? I’m an ass!” — his last gasp!
Tags: Animal Verse, July Holidays, Odd Holidays, Reptiles, Snake Limericks, Snakes
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 3 Comments »
Saturday, October 24th, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using ROAD or RODE or ROWED at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
Said a sandal-clad man on the road
To his newly bought country abode,
“Though I don’t mean to quibble,
I just felt a nibble.
Could my toes have encountered a toad?”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Animal & Pet Humor, Animal Verse, Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 65 Comments »
Wednesday, August 26th, 2015
For National Dog Day, a 2-Verse Acrostic Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Canine friends are my subject today,
And I love to watch dogs on display,
Never letting you down.
I can’t see why you’d frown
Near a puppy that just wants to play.
Ev’ry pooch needs a human to love.
(People swear they’re a gift from above.)
Always loyal and sweet–
Lets you know: “Time to eat!”
So line up to adopt and don’t shove.
Tags: Acrostic Limerick, Acrostic Poems, Animal & Pet Humor, Animal Verse, August Holidays, Dog Humor, Dog Verse, National Dog Day, Odd Holidays, Puppy Poetry
Posted in Acrostic Limericks, Animal & Pet Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on For National Dog Day, A 2-Verse Acrostic Limerick
Saturday, December 13th, 2014
Happy “National Day of the Horse.”
Limerick Ode to the Horse
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s the “National Day of the Horse.”
Till I’m hoarse, I of course shall endorse.
On the racecourse or farm
Or police force, what charm!
It had better not be your main course.
Tags: Animal & Pet Humor, Animal Verse, December Holidays, Equine Humor, Horse, Horse Humor, Odd Holidays
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 1 Comment »
Monday, July 28th, 2014
The Intruder (4-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s dark and we’re out on our deck.
My sandals are off and then… Heck!
I yell words rather worse
And I scream and I curse
And turn into a blubbering wreck.
For my toes had encountered some ooze
When I slipped my feet into my shoes.
Seems a large, squishy slug
Had crawled (like a bug)
In my sandal. I now need some booze.
I jump and run off to the sink.
About gook, I am raising a stink.
Mark examines my sandal
And freaks at the vandal;
That mollusk still lurks there, the fink!
“It’s gross and gigantic,” he yells.
“And it’s slimy. Like snails without shells.”
Then he acts like a hero
And wins. Mollusk zero!
In my sandal, it no longer dwells.
*****
Are you familiar with slugs? They’re gross-looking, squishy critters (sort of snails without shells.) Super disgusting!
Now imagine you’re sitting on your porch in the dark, watching a video when, unbeknownst to you, a slug crawls into one of your sandals.
Now picture absent-mindedly sliding your foot into that sandal.
Yes, I screamed at the top of my lungs.
And yes, Mark thought I was insane, until I made him look inside my sandal.
But Mark did ultimately redeem himself by disposing of that large, snake-like critter.
Tags: Animal Verse, Mollusks, Outdoor Activity Humor, Outdoors Humor, Slug Limerick, Snail Mail Limerick, Wildlife Humor
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Limericks, Outdoors Humor | 2 Comments »
Friday, June 20th, 2014
If the thought of dogs at work gives you pause, you might want to play hooky on “Take Your Dog To Work Day.” It’s celebrated each year on the first Friday after Father’s Day, so this year it falls on June 20th.
Limerick Ode To “Take Your Dog To Work Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Do you hear any barking at work?
If so, you’re not going berserk.
“Take Your Dog To Work” days
Can cause canine arrays
Once a year. It’s a white collar perk.
(If you prefer, there’s always Take Your Parents To Work Day.)
Tags: Animal Verse, Canine Humor, Career Poem, Dog Verse, Employment Humor, June Holidays, Odd Holidays, Take Your Dog To Work Day, Workplace & Career Humor, Workplace Poetry
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Workplace & Career Humor | 1 Comment »
Sunday, December 1st, 2013
I rarely write science-related limericks. But I just couldn’t resist this headline: “‘Humans evolved after a female chimpanzee mated with a pig’: Extraordinary claim made by American geneticist.”
In A Pig’s Eye!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
You might ask how a masculine pig
Got a chimp that was female to dig
Him enough to have sex.
I’m guessing a hex,
Using feathers and maybe a fig.
Tags: Animal Verse, Bawdy Humor, Chimpanzee Limerick, Evolution Humor, Genetics Limerick Chimp Humor, Pig Humor, Science Humor, Scientific Research
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Limericks, Science Humor | 16 Comments »
Wednesday, October 30th, 2013
If being wrapped in pythons would enhance your massage experience, do I have a spa for you! Get yourself right over to the Bali Heritage Reflexology and Spa in Jakarta, Indonesia, which claims that snake-draping combats stress.
A Spa To Hiss (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Oh joy! Here’s a spa to avoid:
When massaging you, snakes are deployed.
Yes, they drape you in snakes,
Claiming fear aids your aches.
You feel great … right until you’re destroyed.
Tags: Animal Verse, Fear Humor, Health Limericks, Indonesia, Massage Humor, Pythons, Relaxation Humor, Snake Limericks, Spa Humor, Stress Humor, Therapy Humor
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Anxiety & Stress, Behavior & Personality, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks | 6 Comments »
Sunday, June 16th, 2013
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman had spent her last pound…*
or
A fellow went down to the pound…*
or
A woman bought less than a pound…*
or
A fellow was trying to pound…*
or
A professor would often expound…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limericks By The Pound
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow went down to the pound
With plans to adopt a cute hound.
His spouse said, “Think small,”
But he brought home a tall
St. Bernard. Now his wife’s outward bound.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Animal Verse, Competition Limerick, Dog Humor, Dog Pounds, Dog Verse, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Pet Poems, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 86 Comments »
Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
People aren’t the only ones in Seattle enjoying weed; BB Ranch butcher William von Schneidau’s “pot pigs” are partaking in cannabis too. According to von Schneidau, adding “weed to the feed,” makes the pig meat more savory.
Pigging Out On Weed (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Feeding weed to your pigs, you’ll agree
Seems a little bit odd, but you see
There’s a butcher who’ll swear
It makes tastier fare.
This doesn’t sound kosher to me.
Tags: Animal Verse, BB Ranch, Butcher Humor, Diet Humor, Drug Laws, Food Humor, Food Verse, Grass, Keeping Kosher, Marijuana, Pigs Humor, Religion Humor, Seattle Washington, Weed Humor, William von Schneidau
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Religion Verse | 4 Comments »
Wednesday, October 3rd, 2012
In Honor Of World Animal Day, celebrated annually on October 4th, here are three endangered species limericks: Limerick Odes to the Tasmanian Forester Roo, the Hippopotamus, and the African Wild Ass. (I previously posted my Rhino limerick, which is included in the International Poetry Anthology For Rhino in a Shrinking World.)
Limerick Ode To The Tasmanian Forester Roo
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Tasmanian Forester Roo
Is endangered. So here’s what to do:
Sign petitions. Give cash.
Host a fund-raising bash,
Else its time on this earth will be through.
Limerick Ode To The Hippopotamus
By Madeleine Begun Kane
When I look at a hippo I wonder:
What’s the size of its herbivore plunder?
At three point five tons,
It clearly outguns
Any crops as it tears them asunder.
Limerick Ode To The African Wild Ass
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The African Wild Ass, alas,
Is at risk. It may soon come to pass
That the last one dies out.
It’s endangered, no doubt.
This horse-cousin may vanish en masse.
UPDATE: February 15 is Hippo Day and Endangered Species Day falls on the third Friday of May.
Tags: African Wild Ass, Animal & Pet Humor, Animal Verse, Endangered Species, Endangered Species Day, Extinct Animals, February Holidays, Hippo, Hippo Day, Hippopotamus, May Holidays, Odd Holidays, Rhino, Tasmanian Forester Roo, World Animal Day
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 10 Comments »
Friday, September 21st, 2012
Tomorrow, September 22nd, is World Rhino Day. And I’m very pleased to announce that my Limerick Ode To The Rhinoceros is included in the International Poetry Anthology For Rhino in a Shrinking World. And that it was one of five of the anthology’s poems read at a World Rhino Day celebration in Grahamstown, South Africa.
Limerick Ode To The Rhinoceros
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The rhino appears prehistoric,
With a diet that’s vega-caloric.
It’s endangered, alas.
Laws to save it must pass.
This would make all its lovers euphoric.
UPDATE: May 1 is Save The Rhino Day.
Tags: Animal & Pet Humor, Animal Verse, May Holidays, Odd Holidays, Poetry Anthologies, Rhino In A Shrinking World, Rhinoceros Limerick, Save The Rhino Day, September Holidays, World Rhino Day
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Books, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Poetry Books | 14 Comments »
Thursday, June 21st, 2012
I’ve been known to lash out against people who drive red cars:
Now I’m no scientist or statistician. I have no idea whether the color red inspires insanity in drivers, or if bad drivers are genetically attracted to it. All I know is that whenever I see a driver doing something spectacularly stupid, he’s doing it in a flaming red automobile.
But after reading this article about red cars and bird poop, I’m starting to feel a bit sorry for those drivers:
Research in five cities found 18 per cent of red cars were marked with deposits, followed by blue (14 per cent), black (11 per cent) and white (seven per cent).
For the cleanest ride, the best advice, appropriately, is to go green – just one per cent of that colour was smeared.
But even pity can’t stop me from writing this limerick:
This Limerick’s For The Birds
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Here’s a riveting fact about birds,
Which is likely to trigger foul words:
They like dropping their poo
Upon autos whose hue
Is red — their pet target for turds.
Tags: Animal & Pet Humor, Animal Verse, Bad Drivers, Bird Droppings, Bird Humor, Birds, Car & Driving Humor, Red Cars, Statistics Humor, Surveys
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Car & Driving Humor | 4 Comments »
Tuesday, April 17th, 2012
Are you all ready for National Pet Owners Independence Day?
A gal who’d been cleaning was jarred
By some leaves just dragged in from her yard.
Displaying a broom,
She yelled, “Sweep up this room!”
To her dog. (Guess she’s working too hard.)
Tags: Animal & Pet Humor, Animal Verse, April Holidays, Backyard, Dog Verse, Dogs Humor, Household Chores, Household tools, Pet Owners, Pet Owners Independence Day, Spring Cleaning, Stress Humor
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Anxiety & Stress, Behavior & Personality, Chores Humor, House & Home Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 6 Comments »
Tuesday, April 10th, 2012
A horseback-riding reader asked me to write a tax-related limerick. Here’s what I came up with:
Reining In Your Returns (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
To the folks who find horseback transcendent,
Please beware, you could be a defendant,
If when doing your tax,
You err to the max
By declaring your horse a “dependent.”
Tags: Animal Verse, Dependents, Financial Poetry, Horse Humor, Horseback Riding, Income Tax Humor, IRS, Money & Finance Humor, Tax Filing Humor, Tax Poetry
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Tax & IRS Satire | 12 Comments »
