If you goad, then escape from a goat,
And you’re planning to sue, please take note:
Flouting rules of a zoo
Can be foolish to do…
So your scapegoat success odds? Remote!
Posts Tagged ‘Animal & Pet Humor’
Don’t Mess With Goats! (Limerick)
Sunday, October 9th, 2022Buttering Up A Farmer (Limerick)
Sunday, October 2nd, 2022“After seeing your farm, I’m agog
At its beautiful pigpen. My dog
Doesn’t live half as well!
The big barn where pigs dwell
Is superb! They live high on the hog.”
*****
Happy World Farm Animals Day! (October 2)
A Dogged Quest (3-Verse Limerick)
Wednesday, September 28th, 2022A woman who wanted a pet
Became angry, perturbed, and upset:
She’d been told dog adoption
Was OUT as an option…
Cuz she spent too much time on the net.
She replied, “If the net’s bad, then why
Is your website the place we must buy
These sweet canines you say
Need a home? Still say ‘Nay?’
Any court will your ruling decry.”
Upon hearing her not-so-veiled threat,
The naysayer started to sweat.
Since his site can’t afford
To be sued, he’s on board.
Her new spaniel — Tibetan — great get!
*****
(Happy “World Pet Day” — September 28.)
Mutt Memories (Limerick)
Sunday, July 31st, 2022When I starting drafting this limerick, I meant it to be a National Mutt Day verse. But it seems to have turned into something else:
I had many a mutt growing up.
My fav’rite behaved like a pup
Well into old age.
And my husband, who’s sage,
Takes his lead from that dog. Clever? Yup!
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: HEEL or HEAL at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: April 2, 2022)
Saturday, March 19th, 2022It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using HEEL or HEAL at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to FLIGHT, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best FLIGHT-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on April 3, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 2, 2022, at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my HEEL or HEAL-rhyme limerick:
Playing poker, Neil felt like a heel.
But he gambled with passionate zeal,
Using cash that was meant
For rent — ev’ry cent.
So his win was a very big deal.
And here’s my FLIGHT-themed limerick:
Our beagle’d chase felines with glee.
The game? Trap or make the cat flee.
But one day, Duke stood guard
For hours in our yard;
Seems our dog had barked up the wrong tree.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
This Insult Won’t Fly (Limerick)
Wednesday, February 2nd, 2022Today is “World Ostrich Day.” And according to the Reid Park Zoo, the “second of February (2/2) was chosen to celebrate these unique birds because they only have two toes per foot!”
And the other interesting thing about ostriches, is that the whole “bury their head in the sand” thing is a myth. And that brings me to my latest two-verse limerick:
The ostrich’s rep has been bruised,
And ostriches aren’t amused.
We have all been misled;
They don’t bury their head
In the sand. They are falsely accused.
So if someone you know tends to hide
From the facts, shield the ostriches’ pride.
It’s time to adapt;
Find an insult more apt
Than “ostrich” with which to deride.
Ban This Holiday? (Limerick)
Saturday, December 4th, 2021Of the many odd hol’days I find,
There are some that I can’t get behind:
Today’s “Cheater Day!” Why
Salute such a guy?
Oh, it’s “Cheetah” Day? Oops! Never mind!
Limerick Ode To The Horse
Tuesday, November 16th, 2021Happy “Horse Appreciation Day!” (November 16)
I wouldn’t dare ride on a horse.
My back couldn’t take it, of course.
But please do not feast
On that beautiful beast.
Eat horse-meat? Then brace to face force.
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: LEAK or LEEK at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: November 13, 2021)
Saturday, October 30th, 2021It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using LEAK or LEEK at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to COMPLAINTS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best COMPLAINTS-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on November 14, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, November 13, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my LEAK/LEEK-rhyme limerick:
I encountered a hedgehog last week;
While it hogged our back hedge, caught a peek.
As it foraged and grunted,
For insects it hunted.
I was pleased … till it munched on my leek.
And here’s my COMPLAINTS-themed limerick:
A woman who loved to complain,
Spouting grievances rather inane,
Would quibble and moan,
Making co-workers groan.
Her latest gripe? Jobless again!
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Woe-Ridden Gambler (Limerick)
Sunday, October 24th, 2021A gambler who lost lots of dough
On a horse race, was stunned by the blow:
“Woe is me! I’m a chump!
That damn horse took a dump
Mid-race; he was rarin’ to ‘go.'”
A Dog Of A Claim (Limerick)
Wednesday, September 1st, 2021A man whose deep pockets are boundless
Is hounded by lawsuits, most groundless.
Take the latest; a claim
About dog-bites, whose aim
Is big bucks, but the “dog owner’s” hound-less.
Ill-Bred Limerick
Thursday, August 26th, 2021Happy “National Dog Day.” (August 26)
My favorite breed is the “mutt.”
Yes, I know you’re about to say “But,
That isn’t a breed.”
I’m aware, but I need
To annoy nutty dog snobs who strut.
(National Mutt Day is celebrated on two days: July 31 and December 2.)
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: MOUSSE or MOOSE or VAMOOSE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: January 2, 2021)
Saturday, December 19th, 2020It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using MOUSSE or MOOSE or VAMOOSE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to ART, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best ART-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on January 3, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 2, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my MOUSSE/MOOSE/VAMOOSE-rhyme limerick:
I encountered a moose and a goose
On the roadway and told them, “Vamoose!”
They ignored me, alas,
So my car could not pass.
(I’m still there shouting verbal abuse.)
And here’s my ART-themed limerick:
The wall had an animal frieze;
Cows and goats, with occasional trees–
Mostly evergreens — laurel —
And images floral.
Lovely art, but one look made me sneeze.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Yet Another World Rhino Day Limerick
Saturday, September 22nd, 2018There once was a newlywed rhino
Who discovered her mate was a wino.
“We’re endangered,” she’d curse.
“Your damn wine makes it worse!”
“White wine’s fine,” he replied. “I’m albino.”
(My first rhino limerick is here. It’s included in the International Poetry Anthology For Rhino in a Shrinking World.)
Happy World Rhino Day! (September 22)
Vet Your Doctors (Limerick)
Thursday, March 1st, 2018A doctor would frequently treat
His patients as if they were meat.
“My patients are pigs,”
He’d proclaim from his digs
Near a farm, which was piglet replete.
Happy National Pig Day!
Goose Day (Limerick)
Thursday, September 29th, 2016A farmer who tried to produce
A plausible, timely excuse
For gambling away
His nest egg, today
Came up empty, self-cooking his goose.
Happy Goose Day! (September 29)
Limerick Ode To The Elephant
Friday, August 12th, 2016When I miss a big day, I’ve regrets,
And I’m tempted to spew epithets.
Nearly failed to relay
It’s “World Elephant Day,”
But an elephant never forgets.
*****
Elephant Appreciation Day falls on September 22.
Limerick Ode To The Lion
Wednesday, August 10th, 2016It’s Lion Day. Give a big roar!
Categorical praise is in store
For the king of the jungle.
And kindly don’t bungle
This message: Show hunters the door.
This Weather’s For The Birds! (Limerick)
Monday, March 28th, 2016Though it’s springtime, the temp’rature’s low.
It’s damp, and the wind’s all a-blow.
And I swear that I heard
These words chirped by a bird:
“For THIS I flew north? I hate snow!”
Limerick For National Mutt Day
Wednesday, December 2nd, 2015Happy National Mutt Day! (It’s celebrated twice a year, on December 2nd and July 31.)
Today we must cherish the mutt.
Mongrels matter, no if, and, or but.
Purebred dogs may be chic,
But each mixed breed’s unique.
It’s clear cut. Walk yours proudly and strut.
