American Idol Not Idyllic (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I watched Idol last night — wasn’t dandy.
They gave compliments out just like candy.
And something is wrong
When with song after song
The toughest of judges is Randy.
(Linked in I Saw Sunday)
Another American Idol season has come to a close and, once again, the wrong contestant won. Yes, the nervous guy, Lee DeWyze is the new American Idol, besting beating out the far superior singer, Crystal Bowersox. I’m disappointed, but not surprised. Why am I not surprised? I explain in my latest two-verse limerick:
American Idol’s Problem … Crystallized
By Madeleine Begun Kane
American Idol is done,
And sadly, the weaker guy won.
The Bowersox voice
Was a far better choice.
Crystal’s vocals sure hit a home run.
And here’s what has made me quite vexed:
It’s the power of youngsters who text.
They have time on their hands
To be diligent fans
And decide who will win the crown next.
“Insult judge” Simon Cowell is leaving American Idol at the end of this season. How will I ever survive?
Simon, Say It Ain’t So! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Simon, your snark’s sometimes mean,
But on Idol you’re surely the dean.
Your vocal critiques
Are the smartest most weeks.
Will I watch it post-Cowell? Not keen!
Since American Idol is one of the few TV shows I watch regularly, I’d be remiss if I didn’t comment on the finalists and write a limerick for finalists Kris Allen and Adam Lambert:
An Ode To The American Idol Finalists
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Many kudos to Adam and Kris!
Having Allison there would be bliss.
But it could have been worse.
I am Gokey-averse,
And he’s one guy I surely won’t miss.
I feel (and share) EW’s Michael Slezak’s rage over the American Idol judges’ performance last night.
So what are we both so angry about? I sum it up in my American Idol Review haiku:
An “A for for effort”
To Gokey from the judges?
An F for standards.
Update: Now I’m really angry! Just as I feared, American Idol booted Allison Iraheta instead of Danny Gokey. Talk about unfair! The only good part is we were spared an encore rendition of Danny’s infamous final note.
As regular readers know, watching American Idol is one of my guilty pleasures. But it sure wasn’t much of a pleasure last week, when mellifluous Melinda was sent packing and Blake wasn’t:
Yet Another American Idol Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Melinda was beat out by Blake?
Now that’s what I call a mistake!
He’s all shtick and no voice.
What a terrible choice!
I suspect that his fans ain’t awake.
American Idol — My Guilty Pleasure
By Madeleine Begun Kane
American Idol’s a show
I enjoy. Why? I really don’t know:
Awful singing, odd judging,
And, maybe, vote fudging.
I’m missing it now. Gotta go!
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
