“I’ve proven you’re wrong! Now eat crow,”
Said a know-it-all fellow, named Joe,
Who could not help but howl
At the answer re fowl:
“I’m allergic to poultry, so NO!”
Posts Tagged ‘Allergy Humor’
Know-It-All Limerick
Wednesday, September 8th, 2021Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: MAIN or MANE or MAINE or DOMAIN at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: Feb. 13, 2021 )
Saturday, January 30th, 2021It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using MAIN or MANE or MAINE or DOMAIN at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to BILLS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best BILLS-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on February 14, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 13, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my MAIN/MANE/MAINE/DOMAIN-rhyme limerick:
A wicked young woman from Maine
Had a mane that was dyed “pink champagne.”
Her name was Rosé
“No not ‘Rose,'” she would say
With disdain, being prickly and vain.
And here’s my BILLS-themed limerick:
The hall had a lovely array
Of flowers on fragrant display.
But the bride wasn’t pleased,
“I’m allergic,” she wheezed.
“If I’m dead, don’t expect me to pay.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: MOUSSE or MOOSE or VAMOOSE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: January 2, 2021)
Saturday, December 19th, 2020It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using MOUSSE or MOOSE or VAMOOSE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to ART, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best ART-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on January 3, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 2, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my MOUSSE/MOOSE/VAMOOSE-rhyme limerick:
I encountered a moose and a goose
On the roadway and told them, “Vamoose!”
They ignored me, alas,
So my car could not pass.
(I’m still there shouting verbal abuse.)
And here’s my ART-themed limerick:
The wall had an animal frieze;
Cows and goats, with occasional trees–
Mostly evergreens — laurel —
And images floral.
Lovely art, but one look made me sneeze.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Cheesy Limerick
Wednesday, January 20th, 2016A man who should never eat cheese,
Ignores ev’ry cough and each wheeze
That comes in reaction
And once led to traction;
He can’t hack cheese-attraction disease.
Happy National Cheese Lovers Day, which is celebrated on January 20th.
Note: National Cheese Day falls on June 4th.
Change is Good??? (Limerick)
Thursday, July 10th, 2014Change is Good??? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My allergy’s fine while inside.
I’ve no problem when outdoors I stride.
Then I go back indoors
And my nose says, “Up yours!”
I’m attacked, and there’s no place to hide.
Cheesy Limerick
Tuesday, June 4th, 2013Happy National Cheese Day! (June 4th)
Cheesy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man with a weakness for cheese
Ate some brie and then started to wheeze.
He refused to admit
‘Twas an allergy fit.
His autopsy-doc disagrees.
Note: There’s also a National Cheese Lover’s Day, which is celebrated on January 20th.
A Limerick Ode To Autumn
Monday, September 20th, 2010Rumor has it that fall will arrive on September 23rd. So I thought I’d celebrate with my Limerick Ode To Autumn:
Limerick Ode To Autumn
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Feels like autumn — the walking is easy
Cuz it’s cool and it’s dry and it’s breezy.
But what do I spy?
Flying pollen — oh my!
Any minute I’ll surely be sneezy.
First (And Last) Visit (Limerick)
Tuesday, November 13th, 2007First (And Last) Visit (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m allergic to felines; I sneeze
And I tear when they’re near—then I wheeze.
So I wish you had warned
That your house is adorned
With a half-hundred cats (Siamese).
Author’s Note: This limerick is based on personal experience. Many years ago, a composer asked my chamber ensemble to rehearse at her home, so she could record a work of hers that we were getting ready to debut. I’d barely taken my oboe out of its case, when I started having trouble breathing. My attack got very bad, very quickly, and I was forced to leave without rehearsing.
I later learned that our host’s hobby was breeding cats, and that her house was packed with them. Since I’m very allergic to cats, this would have been a good thing to have been warned about.
(You can find more of my pets and animals humor here and more of my health humor here.
UPDATE: Happy National Cat Day! (October 29th)
Ode To Genetically Altered Cats (Limerick)
Monday, October 9th, 2006If you’re a feline fan who’s very allergic to cats (as I am) and you’re very rich (as I’m not,) scientists have come to your rescue with genetically altered cats:
Ode To Genetically Altered Cats
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Do cats make you suffer and wheeze?
There’s a cure for some real hefty fees:
A kitty whose genes
Are swept allergen clean.
You can kiss and it won’t make you sneeze.
