The new year is coming up fast,
As I think of the world’s recent past.
It feels like the brink,
So to hope I shall drink:
Next year’s GOT to be better than last.
*****
Resolution Disclaimer:
Resolutions ain’t sticky, I fear,
Be it sugar, tobacco or beer.
If you’ve broken that pledge,
Please don’t be on edge.
No worries! There’s always NEXT year.
*****
Drunken Limerick:
Can I write silly verse after drinking?
Let’s see. Wait a second — I’m thinking.
Can’t come up with a verse
Or a rhyme. Even worse,
I suspect that this limerick’s stinking.
Limerick For National Rum Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal called her husband a lout
And threatened to highball it out
If he kept drinking rum.
He at first was struck dumb,
Then obligingly switched up to stout.
Limerick Ode To The Cocktail
By Madeleine Begun Kane
We celebrate cocktails in May:
May 13th is “World Cocktail Day.” Yay!
But I hope you won’t laugh
When I say on behalf
Of its worshippers: Why just one day?
(On May 13, 1806, The Balance and Columbian Repository, an upstate New York newspaper, published the first known definition of the word “cock-tail,” as “a stimulating liquor, composed of spirits of any kind, sugar, water and bitters.”)
Happy National Rum Day (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man was balled out out by his mum,
Who told him to stop making rum.
“That’s my bus’ness,” he said.
“It’s my butter and bread.”
But he chewed on it. Now he makes gum.
Those Smashing French Language Police (2-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Le Binge Drinking’s” been outlawed in France.
They’re maintaining a very strict stance–
Not against all that drinking.
No! What were you thinking?
It’s their “dump English verbiage” dance.
A new phrase that has Frenchified grace
Must henceforth be used to replace
Such Anglicized words,
Discarded like turds: “Beuverie express” — drink at fast pace.
Happy anniversary to the corkscrew! On March 27, 1860, New Yorker M.L. Byrn patented a corkscrew design. “It was T-shaped, based on gadgets that had long been used to extract bullets stuck in the muzzles of guns. Corkscrews had been around before Byrn’s invention, but his design became the standard in America for decades.”
Limerick Ode To The Corkscrew
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Make a toast to a corking invention–
An aid in removing our tension.
Does your life feel screwed up?
Need some sips with your sup?
Then give praise for the corkscrew’s ascension.
Tomorrow, June 19, is National Martini Day. I figured it was best to celebrate with a limerick … before starting on that martini:
Limerick Ode To National Martini Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The martini’s a drink for the tough,
Cuz that cocktail is strong, sometimes rough.
Most favor it gin-filled,
Which leaves me chagrin-filled.
Use tequila instead? Won’t rebuff!
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s who won last week.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A man who was partial to gin…*
or
A gal who was partial to gin…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Ginning Up Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man who was partial to gin
Played it often and tended to win.
When encouraged to switch
And play poker, he’d bitch:
“Gin is wholesome, but poker’s a sin.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
I wrote this limerick right after Mark and I finished celebrating the new year with lots of champagne. Nice to know that I can write a limerick (more or less) while under the influence:
Drunken Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Can I write silly verse after drinking?
Let’s see. Wait a second — I’m thinking.
Can’t come up with a verse
Or a rhyme. Even worse,
I suspect that this limerick’s stinking.
And speaking of “under the influence,” never forget this important adage: Let he who is without gin blast the first groan.
Wow! It’s almost midnight on October 4th. And that means I almost missed National Vodka Day. Must celebrate with a limerick:
Happy Vodka Day!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Which liquor’s remembered today?
Not tequila or rum or Lillet.
I’m afraid you don’t win
If you guess that it’s gin,
Cuz it’s vodka. Start pouring, okay?
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow who drank to excess…
Here’s mine:
Lush Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who drank to excess
Got to work in a state of undress:
Wore no shirt and no shoes,
Had a briefcase of booze
And, quite tipsy, said “Dress to impress.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
