Posts Tagged ‘Advice Limerick’
Saturday, May 4th, 2024
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SLIP or SLIPPED at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to DECEIT, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best DECEIT-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
BOTTLE, DARK, GUITAR, RELEASE, SCOLD.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa, and use any other variant of the random words. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on June 2, 2024, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, June 1, 2024 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my SLIP or SLIPPED-Rhyme Limerick:
The young oboist tried not to slip
While adjusting her reed; a small snip
Was essential — that’s all!
The reed cracked! Did she bawl?
No, she still kept a stiff upper lip.
And here’s my DECEIT-Themed Limerick:
You have taken advantage of me,
Yet again, said a gal to “pal” Leigh.
I’m feeling abused,
Betrayed and misused,
And I’m betting a court will agree.
You’ve frequently borrowed my spouse
To repair things that break in your house.
It appears that “repair”
Is code for “affair.”
How dare you have sex with that louse!
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
Do not bottle up feelings, we’re told,
But that sort of advice leaves me cold.
Were my feelings released
I’d turn into a beast;
An express-it-all, ornery scold.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Advice Humor, Advice Limerick, Battle of the Sexes, Competition Limerick, Deceit Humor, Deceit Limerick, Emotions, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Music Humor, Music Limerick, Oboe Humor, Oboe Limerick, Oboe Reeds, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Honesty Humor, House & Home Humor, Light Verse Contest, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 117 Comments »
Thursday, March 7th, 2024
“Is that fellow the best you can get?
I’m concerned and perplexed and upset,
Also worried and puzzled.
The guy should be muzzled!
You want a wild beast? Get a pet!”
Tags: Advice Humor, Advice Limerick, Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on Sisterly Advice (Limerick)
Saturday, November 11th, 2023
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using CATCH or CATCHES at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to MISTAKES, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best MISTAKE-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
FAULTY, HUSTLE, MEAN, POT, STICK.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on December 10, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 9, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my CATCH/CATCHES-Rhyme Limerick:
Said a woman who’d just married Irv,
“Many friends tried to stop me. What nerve!
Do I love the guy? Natch!
He’s a wonderful catch…
Though I’m keeping divorce in reserve.”
And here’s my MISTAKE-Themed Limerick:
A thickheaded fellow named Fred
Had dreamed of becoming a Fed.
But it wasn’t to be;
In an interview, he
Kept confusing “dead drop” with “drop dead.”
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
“This table is sticky. Please clean it,”
Said a restaurant patron. “I mean it!”
“I’ll be glad to,” the server
Replied with great fervor.
“But I can’t find my rag. Have you seen it?
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Advice Humor, Advice Limerick, Competition Limerick, Divorce Humor, Food Humor, Interview Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Restaurant Humor, Restaurant Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry Contest, Restaurant Reviews & Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | 152 Comments »
Saturday, October 14th, 2023
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using CROW at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to LISTS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best LIST-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
ADVICE, CHECK, NOTES, SLIDER, SNOBBISH
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on November 12, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, November 11, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my CROW-Rhyme Limerick:
A know-it-all neighbor will crow
About exploits, vacations, and dough.
When I spot him I try
To sidestep the guy…
Or annoy him with wry tales of woe.
And here’s my LIST-Themed Limerick:
How I love the occasional lift
That can spring out of wordplay; I’ll sift
Through an idiom list
For the whiff of a twist
That might trigger a limerick gift.
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
“I’m so sick of this place,” a gal sighed.
“The moms in this playground are snide
And snobbish and rude,
Like that mom with her brood.”
(I advised her to let it all slide.)
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Advice Limerick, Competition Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limericks, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, List Humor, List Limerick, Neighbors Humor, Neighbors Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Wordplay, Writing Prompts
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Neighbors Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 102 Comments »
Saturday, July 29th, 2023
“Don’t marry that man: He’s a worm,
And a wiseass, a sneak, and a germ,
An incompetent crook,
And a sniveling schnook,
As most of his bookies confirm.”
Tags: Advice Humor, Advice Limerick, Behavior Humor, Behavior Limerick, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Personality Humor, Personality Limerick
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Behavior & Personality, Limericks, Marriage Humor | Comments Off on Marriage Advice (Limerick)
Wednesday, July 12th, 2023
“My career choice was NOT the astutest;
There are very few jobs for a flutist.
How I wish that I heeded
My parents, who pleaded:
‘Don’t toot on that flute. Be a lutist!'”
Tags: Advice, Advice Humor, Advice Limerick, Career Humor, Career Limerick, Flute, Flute Humor, Music Humor, Music Limerick, Musician Humor, Musician Limerick, Parents
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Parenting Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | Comments Off on Musical Lament (Limerick)
Thursday, January 19th, 2023
On the heels of a terrible muck-up,
One more aptly described as a fuck-up,
Whoever’s at fault
Might resort to assault,
If you foolishly tell him to buck up.
Tags: Advice Humor, Advice Limerick, Screwups, Violence Humor, Violence Limerick
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Behavior & Personality, Limericks | Comments Off on Ill-Advised Advice (Limerick)
Saturday, May 7th, 2022
Said a smart-ass: “Your lim’rick is marred,
Cuz you’ve used the phrase ‘feathered and tarred,’
And that’s backwards! It’s ‘tarred
And feathered.’” On guard
Against humorless ‘helpers.’ They’re barred!
And to folks who have no sense of humor,
Whether Gen-X or Z or a boomer,
You have lim’rick advice?
Please don’t give it. Think twice;
It’s as welcome as Covid or tumor!
Tags: Advice Humor, Advice Limerick, Humor Impaired, Unwanted Advice, Writing & Publishing Humor, Writing Limerick
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Limericks, Writing & Publishing Humor | Comments Off on Unwanted Advice (2-Verse Limerick)
Monday, March 7th, 2022
While on Facebook, folks often complain
About comments that drive them insane.
If you’re truly annoyed,
They’re a breeze to avoid:
“Unfollowing” blocks all that pain.
Tags: Advice Humor, Advice Limerick, Computer Limerick, Facebook, Facebook Humor, Facebook Limerick, Social Media Humor, Social Media Limerick, Technology Humor, Technology Limerick
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Computer Humor, Facebook Humor, Limericks, Social Media Humor, Technology Humor | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, January 25th, 2022
If you’re someone who blows your own trumpet,
It’s a terrible habit. Please dump it!
You’ve let loose with a hiss?
I won’t sugarcoat this;
You will just have to like it or lump it.
Tags: Advice Humor, Advice Limerick, Bragging Humor, Bragging Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Behavior & Personality, Limericks | Comments Off on Unsolicited Advice (Limerick)
Thursday, December 2nd, 2021
“Your new flame always stinks like a stable.
He drinks ev’ryone under the table.
Mabel, what’s the allure?
He’s unstable, for sure.
Worst of all, he wears fur made of sable!”
Tags: Advice Humor, Advice Limerick, Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Limericks, Relationship Humor | Comments Off on A Bad Match (Limerick)
Sunday, August 8th, 2021
“Here today, gone tomorrow — life’s short.
So follow your dream,” some exhort.
But others may say,
“Dreams can lead you astray.”
(A retort that could lead to a tort.)
Tags: Advice Humor, Advice Limerick, Ambition Humor, Ambition Verse, Annoying Advice, Aphorism Humor, Law Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Legal Limerick, Tort Verse
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Aphorisms, Behavior & Personality, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on Unsolicited Advice (Limerick)
Saturday, April 28th, 2018
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BILL at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to BEAUTY, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best BEAUTY-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on May 13, 2018 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, May 12, 2018 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
“Trust me, ev’rything’s fine, so just chill,
Because when there’s a way, there’s a will.”
“But you’ve got them reversed;
The ‘will’ thing comes first.”
“See? Already I’ve helped! Here’s my bill.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Advice Limerick, Annoying Advice, Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Money Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 152 Comments »
Wednesday, May 4th, 2016
Biz advice from a mogul, by tweet:
Women eyeing that large corner suite
Should hike skirts up and wear
Bright colors. I swear
It ain’t Trump, but Barb Corc’ran. Delete!
Here’s the article that inspired this limerick: “Barbara Corcoran to female entrepreneurs: Hike up your skirts.”
Tags: Advice Limerick, Annoying Advice, Barbara Corcoran, Business Humor, Donald Trump, Entrepreneur Humor, Mogul Humor, Shark Tank, Social Media Poetry, Twitter Humor
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Business Humor, Limericks, Social Media Humor, Twitter Humor | Comments Off on Tweeting The Unconventional (Limerick)
Wednesday, October 28th, 2015
Stop getting yourselves into jams
By falling for Internet scams.
If you’re lured by a post
Or an email, you’re toast.
So say bye to your bread. They’re all shams.
Tags: Advice Limerick, Hoaxes, Internet Humor, Internet Scams, Money & Finance Humor, Scams
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Internet Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Scams & Hoaxes | 1 Comment »
Sunday, June 22nd, 2014
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow with many a vice…*
or
A gal who was free with advice…*
or
A fellow had bought a device…*
or
A fellow was using a vise…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Vice
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow with many a vice
Was, needless to say, not too nice;
When warned by his doc,
He’d scorn and he’d mock.
Now he’s mournfully paying the price.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Advice Limerick, Competition Limerick, Health Limericks, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Health & Medical Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 73 Comments »
Saturday, December 21st, 2013
I was disturbed to hear that today (December 21) is “Look On The Bright Side Day.”
Please don’t tell me to “look on the bright side.”
This merely exposes your trite side.
Neither wise, nor delightful,
It makes me feel spiteful.
Quote that maxim? I’ll max out my smite side.
Tags: Advice Limerick, Aphorism Humor, Behavior Humor, December Holidays, Maxims, Odd Holidays, Optimism, Personality Verse, Pessimism, Truisms
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Aphorisms, Behavior & Personality, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, November 6th, 2013
This fellow tried to rob the wrong house:
Robyn Irvine, a former ax-throwing competitor living in Hemet, Calif., woke up when she heard a noise and saw the burglar trying to snatch her watch from her wrist, according to CBS Los Angeles.
Irvine quickly grabbed an ax, scaring the intruder.
Caveat Burglar (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear burglars, it’s time to face facts:
Preparation is key — don’t be lax.
You must research each job
To ensure folks you rob
Aren’t expert at lobbing an ax.
Tags: Advice Limerick, Ax Humor, Burglar Humor, Crime & Punishment Humor, Robbers, Thief Humor, Weapons
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Behavior & Personality, Crime & Punishment Humor, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, November 5th, 2013
I couldn’t possibly resist a title like this: “London firefighters urge ‘common sense’ after penis freed from toaster.”
Without Common Sense, We’re Toast (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
When devising some bedroom delights,
It ain’t right to try reaching new heights
With devices like toasters
And blenders and roasters,
Else your privates might need their last rites.
Tags: Advice Limerick, Bawdy Humor, Bedroom Humor, Kitchen Limerick, Safety Verse, Sex Humor, Toaster
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Limericks | 8 Comments »
