Someone dared me to write a latke limerick. (No need to check your calendars. Hanukkah’s still in December.)
A latke debate has emerged:
“Eat latkes with sugar,” Mark urged.
“Using sugar sounds weird,”
Sev’ral said. Others cheered.
As for me, latkes ought to be purged.
Limerick Ode To Holiday Fasters
By Madeleine Begun Kane
To those who are fasting right now,
It is best not to think about chow.
And I hope that this tip
Doesn’t strike you as flip:
Though it’s stressful, please don’t have a cow.
Mark (unlike me) follows the Passover dietary rules. And now that the end’s in sight, he’s practically panting in anticipation of pizza and pasta.
Pasta Dreams (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My husband’s excitement is rising.
His mood’s leavened, which isn’t surprising.
Cuz Passover week
Is soon ending its streak;
Bread and pasta-decriminalizing.
Passing Over Some Rules (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though I’m Jewish, I’m still eating bread
And refuse to munch matzo instead.
I spurn rules all the time,
Except canons of rhyme
And of meter … so don’t be misled.
May your seder be lovely,
A holiday treat.
May it not be too late
Till you finally eat.
Happy Passover to all who celebrate it!
Passover practice:
Cut leavening from your bread.
Add it to your life.
A reader asks, “What do Jews do on Christmas?” So as a public service, I offer a limerick explanation:
What Do Jews Do On Christmas? A Limerick Explanation
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Here’s a query that’s answered with ease:
“What do Jews do on Christmas Day, please?”
We watch movies and read.
Surf the Net. (Dull indeed!)
But mostly we munch on Chinese.
(I’ve dedicated that limerick to Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan. (This post explains why.) And here’s a fun article about Jews and Chinese Food.
While I’m posting holiday humor, I might as well post the rest of the holiday verse I dashed off this week.
I hope you’ll think that these haiku
Ain’t all that bad for this old Jew.
HOLIDAY HAIKU Quartet
Best safety advice
For the holiday season:
Hide under your bed.
Since it’s Christmas Eve
Your shopping better be done,
Or you’ve been naughty.
A generous gift
From our fav gov agency:
Revised 1040.
No gifts for Kwanzaa
Or Christmas or Chanukah.
Husband’s gift enough.
When I was growing up, my mother used to joke that “Christmas isn’t such Jewish holiday.”
We Jews do tend to feel left out of things this time of year. After all, Chanukah may be really, really long, but it just doesn’t have that Christmas panache. Ask Jon Stewart, if you don’t believe me.
So I think we Jews need a Christmas limerick, and I’ve written one in my late mom’s honor:
A Jewish Christmas Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
You’re Jewish and feeling left out?
We have holy days too we can tout.
So enjoy and feel chipper.
We’ve still got Yom Kippur.
On second thought, go ahead — pout.
Update: For those who pronounce Yom Kippur the other way, I’ve written an alternative B-rhyme for the 3rd and 4th lines. Here’s the alternate version:
A Jewish Christmas Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
You’re Jewish and feeling left out?
We have holy days too we can tout.
Ain’t you thrilled to your core
By the great Yom Kippur?
On second thought, go ahead — pout.
Just in time for Chanukah, I’ve given Winter Wonderland a new first verse. Feel free to add your own verses, if you’re so inclined. As for me, I’m on the hunt for some chocolate Chanukah gelt. But first I must sing my Chanukah song verse:
Candles lit. Are you looking?
Dreidels spin. Latkas cooking.
Menorahs aglow.
(A mitzvah, you know.)
Chanukah is here. Strike up the band.
Today I’ve decided to have some homonym fun and I hope you will too. I’ve written two haiku about meat and a limerick using the word meet. First, my limerick:
Whenever I meet someone new,
I use memory tricks till I’m blue.
But it’s always the same —
I forget ev’ry name
Right away — hope they blank mine out too.
And now my two meat haiku (senryu):
Jews who keep kosher
Have anti-pig-meat bias:
“Don’t reform!” say pigs.
I can’t understand
Those who oppose beef-eating,
Except, perhaps, cows.
Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write some verse using the homonyms meet and meat, or some other pair of homonyms if you prefer. When you’ve posted your poem(s), please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky.
Update: I added a second haiku, after commenter Stan Ski correctly pointed out that my cow haiku was about meat, but didn’t include the word meat.
Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants
| 1. Elephant Small 2. Random short stories |
3. The Mane Point 4. Nickers and Ink |
5. kouji (haiku poem blog) |
UPDATE 2: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your homonym verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
