Said the patient, “My broken arm itches.
It hurts me and frequently twitches.
So take off this cast!
Do it now! Do it fast!”
Said the doc with a laugh, “I’m in stitches.”
Posts Tagged ‘Medical Humor’
The Difficult Patient (Limerick)
Monday, December 25th, 2023To Mix, Or To Match; That Is The Question (Limerick)
Saturday, October 23rd, 2021To mix, or to match — I’m confused:
Which booster vaccine should be used?
More Moderna? Some Pfizer?
I need an adviser!
By which shot should my shoulder be bruised?
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: DOCK or DOC at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: October 30, 2021)
Saturday, October 16th, 2021It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using DOCK or DOC at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to LIMBS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best LIMB-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on October 31, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, October 30, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my DOCK or DOC-rhyme limerick:
Laryngitis was getting his goat,
So he went to a doctor of note.
“I’ve a hunch,” said the doc,
“That you talk round the clock.”
Said his patient, “Don’t jump down my throat.”
And here’s my LIMB-themed limerick:
A man with an arm in a sling
Had recently injured his wing.
He wistfully said,
“My Frisbee arm’s dead…”
Then headed for one final fling.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Are Limericks Good For Your Health?
Sunday, May 12th, 2019A lim’rick a day keeps away
The doctor — at least, so they say.
Well okay, I’ll concede
I invented that lede,
But it sure beats that “apple” cliché!
UPDATE: Happy Cliché Day, November 3rd!
Vet Your Doctors (Limerick)
Thursday, March 1st, 2018A doctor would frequently treat
His patients as if they were meat.
“My patients are pigs,”
He’d proclaim from his digs
Near a farm, which was piglet replete.
Happy National Pig Day!
Posterior Advances (Limerick)
Monday, November 24th, 2014Posterior Advances (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Most hospital gowns can cause tears
Cuz our butt spheres so rarely get cheers.
But the med field’s revealed
Asses CAN be concealed;
New frontiers in design shield our rears.
Limerick Ode to “I Love My Dentist Day”
Monday, June 2nd, 2014Brace yourself for “I Love My Dentist Day.” (June 2nd)
Limerick Ode to “I Love My Dentist Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Some holidays offer delight,
And others are likely to bite:
Love My Dentist Day’s one
That is NOT packed with fun,
So I brush the day off like a mite.
(You might also enjoy my Dental Deal and my Biting Limerick.)
And don’t forget about National Toothache Day (February 9th) and Dentists Day (March 6th.)
Limerick Ode to “I Love My Dentist Day”
Thursday, May 31st, 2012Brace yourself! I Love My Dentist Day is coming on June 2nd:
Limerick Ode to “I Love My Dentist Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It seems “I Love My Dentist Day’s” here
On June 2, but I simply can’t cheer.
Toothless days like that bite!
I can take no delight
In a guy who spurs fear with his gear.
(You might also enjoy my Dental Deal and my Biting Limerick.)
UPDATE: Happy National Toothache Day! (celebrated yearly on February 9th) And happy Dentists Day! (celebrated yearly on March 6th)
Don’t Put These On Your Headstone (Limericks)
Monday, April 5th, 2010My versifying friend Gerald Bosacker has been writing a series of Poetic Headstones — safety hints in limerick form, which he refers to as “limerbituaries.” When he challenged me to write one, I just had to give it a try:
If your doc says, “Go under the knife.
Only surgery’s saving your life.”
Kindly check out his rep.
Mel did not, the poor schlepp.
So Mel is now missed by his wife.
From there, I moved on to something a bit more warped — not exactly a safety hint, but a “limerbituary,” nonetheless:
Just why is this poor fellow dead?
Well mainly he’s missing his head.
He dined with a bad man,
A head-chopping madman,
And that’s the last time he was fed.
Thanks for the inspiration, Gerald.
Attention Wal-Mart … Patients? (Limerick)
Thursday, October 19th, 2006Attention, Wal-Mart … Patients?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Wal-Mart is marketing health care
Via clinics in stores. Near the hardware?
You can call me a cynic,
But Wal-Mart based clinics?
My prescription is “Patients Beware.”
