Here’s my limerick and haiku prompted by this attention prompt and this challenge to write about writing:
Attention Must Be Paid
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I find paying attention’s a pain.
A-D-D makes it rather a drain.
I’m drifting right now.
Lost in thought? Yes, and how!
Which is why this short story’s inane.
*****
Must pay attention
to pretentious professor.
Can’t? Then pretend to.
*****
Limerick Lament
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There are times that I feel like a tool,
Complying with each lim’rick rule.
So starting today
I refuse to obey.
Don’t believe me? You’re right. April Fool!
(My 2nd National Poetry Month poem, and it’s still April 1st. Yippee!)
So far, March has been a big month for celebratory limericks. I’ve already limericked about International Women’s Day, Daylight Savings Time, Pi Day, and St. Patrick’s Day. And now it’s time for a two-verse limerick celebrating World Poetry Day, which falls on March 21st:
Limerick Ode To World Poetry Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
On World Poetry Day write some verse,
Or in poetry reading immerse.
Try a lim’rick, haiku,
Sonnet, ode, clerihew —
Something witty, or languid, or terse.
On World Poetry Day have some fun:
Compose quatrains, blank verse, or haibun.
Double dactyl, sestina —
The poet’s arena
Will even permit you to pun.
UPDATE: I discovered and corrected some serious errors on Wikipedia’s World Poetry Day page (Google’s top entry for the World Poetry Day topic.) The most glaring error was made more than a month ago, on February 15th, by someone who apparently was manipulating Wikipedia on behalf of a UK-based “global grocery and general merchandising retailer” named Tesco. All references to UNESCO, which had declared March 21st to be World Poetry Day, had been changed to TESCO.
I was stunned that nobody was monitoring Wikipedia well enough to catch and correct this error, and that it took me, an infrequent Wikipedia user, to fix it.
So let that be a lesson to people who rely on Wikipedia. While it’s often useful, it’s far from the gospel. And if you find errors there, be a good Internet citizen and fix them.
One more thing — I urge all poets and writers who are at all publicity-minded, to create their own Wikipedia page. Here’s mine.
UPDATE 2: Commenter Tilly Bud inspired me to combine my two limericks, turning them into a two-verse limerick. Thanks, Tilly!
We Write Poems has an against the grain prompt which asks how (or if) we manage to write when we just aren’t feeling creative. My three-verse limerick explains all … sort of:
To write humor when not in the mood
Takes a major adjustment of ‘tude.
If I’m still uninspired,
I tell me, “You’re fired,”
Or pretend I’m about to be sued.
Okay, none of this stuff’s really true.
When I’m blocked, I don’t know what to do.
So I shower or walk,
Read the news, turn on talk,
Absorb info, inviting a cue.
At long last something starts to take hold,
And a concept begins to unfold,
As I play with the news
Which teases my muse
In my quest for some comedy gold.
(You can find more of my writers block humor here.)
Warning to those here for their daily dose of “funny.” Most of these aren’t. Sorry!
My passionate hunt
for humor in the mundane—
a chastening quest.
*****
Vulgar temptation
haunts, tantalizes, prevails—
beats dainty retreat.
*****
Passionate and raw
feelings too painful to root
escape on breached wings.
*****
Integrity fights
a war against temptation—
battles to a draw.
*****
A thought tempts, glimmers,
says “explore me,” then wings off—
never to return.
*****
Marching to the beat
of your own drum may work best
in solo parades.
*****
To those who ask me
how I remember my verse—
that’s what blogs are for.
*****
Thanks to these prompts for their inspiration: Carry On Tuesday, Haiku Heights, Haiku Wednesday, LoL Prompts, One Single Impression, Poetic Asides, Sunday Scribblings, and Three Word Wednesday.
I’m playing with clichés today:
Clichéd Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I try to think outside the box,
But sometimes those boxes have locks.
And to break myself free
With creative esprit,
I have to be crazy like fox.
UPDATE: Happy Cliché Day, November 3rd!
It makes me fidget,
but I book myself to write
accidental verse.
*****
Accidental glance,
de-liberating romance—
just the dance of chance.
*****
Shocking incident:
things accidentally went
exactly as planned.
*****
Ms. Bristol Palin’s
book contract and dancing gig—
accident of birth.
*****
Booked reservation
at restaurant, but canceled—
had reservations.
*****
If you dare mention
certain odd affinities,
brace for fidgeting.
*****
When I heard that the February 27th prompt over at One Single Impression is vellicate, I knew I was in trouble. Why? Cuz I had no idea what it meant and how it’s pronounced. And even after I’d Googled the damn word, it still didn’t feel assimilated. Plus it just didn’t tickle my funny bone.
But though I was irritated by its unfamiliarity, I was itching to write a limerick. So here it is:
Itching To Write A Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Often poetry prompts can enrich.
But they sometimes can be quite a bitch.
Sunday’s vellicate prompt
On my brain cells has stomped.
The mere thought of that word makes me twitch.
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman was trying to write. …
or
A fellow was trying to write. …
Here’s mine. (It’s a three-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Writerly Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman was trying to write.
Ev’ry sentence and phrase was a fight.
She hated each line.
Too much whine. (Too much wine?)
And decided to call it a night.
She started again the next day.
But her muse seemed to be on delay.
So she showered and walked.
Inspiration still balked.
Though agnostic, she started to pray.
She returned to her screen with a curse.
Started typing for better or worse.
Tried to block her left brain,
Or her right, or the twain.
Then punched keys till at last she found verse.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Over the years I’ve written enough humor columns, limericks, and sundry light verse to fill two or three collections. And one of these days I may even get my act together, stop procrastinating and self-publish at least one of them. I mention this because Big Tent Poetry’s latest prompt urges us to come up with a name for a future book and then write a title poem for that non-existent book.
Yes, I know this is Sheer Madness, which is also the title of my non-existent humor collection:
Sheer Madness
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m hoping to publish a book
With an excellent concept and hook.
It’s title? Sheer Madness,
Reviewed please sans badness,
Sold on paper and Kindle and Nook.
Epiphany (Tanka)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My muse teases me,
Awaiting epiphanies
That never arrive.
So I must go it alone,
Writing until I’m amused.
(Note: Tanka is five line Japanese poetry which pre-dates haiku and whose syllabic form is 5-7-5-7-7. I usually think of it as haiku plus two more 7 syllable lines. My Epiphany Tanka was inspired by the Writers Island epiphany prompt.)
This week Big Tent Poetry prompts us to cheer ourselves up and cure whatever’s ailing us by writing poetry. I’m no cheerier than before, but at least I did write a relevant limerick … sort of:
Blue Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Our topic today feels perverse:
It’s curing our blues with some verse.
If I write something happy
It’s sure to be crappy.
And bad limericks make me feel worse.
The Problem With The Media Explained
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The journos compete in a race
To file columns and fill blogging space.
So nonsense abounds
In ill-informed mounds
Of opinions and factoids off base.
Ode To AOL’s Huffington Post Acquisition
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Huffington Post has been bought.
In AOL’s lair it’s been caught.
Will its death there be quick,
Or will some readers stick?
And will payment for scribes remain naught?
Here’s the New York Times on the acquisition and Huffington’s announcement.
I wrote this limerick right after Mark and I finished celebrating the new year with lots of champagne. Nice to know that I can write a limerick (more or less) while under the influence:
Drunken Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Can I write silly verse after drinking?
Let’s see. Wait a second — I’m thinking.
Can’t come up with a verse
Or a rhyme. Even worse,
I suspect that this limerick’s stinking.
And speaking of “under the influence,” never forget this important adage: Let he who is without gin blast the first groan.
Every so often I get missives from poetry purists. Their message? Most of my haiku are by strict definition senryu.
Now I hate to admit it, but these sticklers are technically correct. For while haiku and senryu take the same form — three line, seventeen syllable poems (five-seven-five) — historically their subject matter and attitude differ.
If you’re waxing poetic about the physical world, chances are what you’ve written is a classic haiku. Throw in a seasonal reference, and it’s a haiku slam dunk.
But if your topic is human nature and human foibles, it’s probably best to label your verse a senryu, especially if you’re being satirical.
Confused? Don’t worry — most people find all this perplexing. In fact, there are lots of articles discussing this very question, and they don’t all agree with one another. Which is probably why so many people (like me) tend to take the easy way out and label all of our seventeen syllable masterpieces haiku.
But please don’t throw up your hands in unpoetic bewilderment. My explanation in the form of a three-verse limerick just might help or, at least, amuse you:
Haiku Or Senryu, That Is The Question
By Madeleine Begun Kane
So how do you write a haiku?
And when’s a haiku senryu?
Both are five-seven-five,
But heavens alive—
All their diff’rences cause much ado.
The distinction’s confounding to some.
Don’t confuse them — you might be called “Bum!”
If your verse has unfurled
On the natural world,
Then you’ve followed haiku’s rule of thumb.
But if seventeen syllables speak,
Not of nature, but human critique,
With satirical pearls
Mocking people — guys, girls —
You’ve embarked on a senryu streak.
Congratulations to all the Washington Post Style Invitational limerick contest winners! (This is the contest I mentioned previously, where B-rhyme lines were provided.)
No, I didn’t win anything or earn an honorable mention. But I did write a limerick about losing:
A Loser Of A Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A contest was held by the Post,
But alas I’m unable to boast.
I submitted some verse —
Did not win, but won’t curse,
Though it seems that my entries are toast.
(Here’s my post about a previous WP Style Invitational limerick contest, where I managed to score an honorable mention.)
Needless to say, I wrote this limerick while running around doing sundry chores:
What A Drag!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman who’s dragging a cart
Has some errands to run. Where to start?
The cleaners and grocer —
Too bad they’re not closer.
How she longs to stay home and make art.
Somehow I managed to miss National Punctuation Day on Sept 24th. “Shame on me!”
Oh my — I just used an exclamation point! And I did it again!
As you can tell from my limerick, I’m not a big fan of the exclamation point, a/k/a the bang.
STOP YELLING!!!!!!!!!!!! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Those points that are meant to exclaim
Often bug me. Yes, bangs seem quite lame.
I abuse them, at times,
When excited by rhymes!!!!
But usage that’s spare is my aim.
By the way, it isn’t too late to celebrate National Punctuation Day: NationalPunctuationDay.com is doing it with a punctuation-related haiku contest. (The deadline is September 30th.)
And speaking of contests, the Washington Post is hosting another limerick competition. (As I mentioned previously, I got an honorable mention in their last one.)
Anyway, the Washington Post’s latest limerick contest sounds like a lot of fun. Much like my Limerick-Offs, WP provides limerick lines. However, the WP contest is definitely harder than mine: I provide A-rhyme first lines, while the WP contest offers us B-rhyme lines.
The Washington Post contest deadline is October 4th. Good luck!
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
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