Using the poetry prompt “align,” I turned my haiku into a limerick:
A prompt’s been assigned.
Should Rhymezone-dot-com be mined?
My rhymes are aligned.
***
A poetry prompt’s been assigned.
Rhymezone tempts me with rhymes to be mined.
I could write some haiku,
But I’ve lim’ricks to do.
Must ensure that my rhymes are aligned.
Though I’ve tried to, I cannot erase
My mem’ry of messes I’d face
When I needed to fix
Penciled words. (I was six.)
Defacement would follow apace.
It’s “National Word Nerd Day.” Yay!
I’m a “word nerd.” It’s true. Ev’ry day
I try to learn new words,
Recalling but few words;
In my brain they’re reluctant to stay.
When I need inspiration
I summon my muse.
When she doesn’t come through,
Then I check out the news.
A fellow who frequently jogs
Tripped over some badly placed logs.
He fell down, hit his noggin,
Which ended his joggin’.
His new hobby is verse about “frogs.”
How to punctuate: That is the query.
Ill-timed marks can be irksome and dreary.
Bangs, ellipses, and dashes
Add drama in flashes.
Overuse is abusive!!! — Be leery!!!!!
(National Punctuation Day is celebrated yearly on September 24th.)
Must a lim’rick be bawdy and lusty?
Has that “rule” become mis’rably musty?
I like lims of all kinds
From both lewd and chaste minds,
Even those just a tad upper crusty.
Sometimes I challenge myself by using a hard-to-rhyme word in a limerick. In today’s case, it’s “latrinalia,” which means stuff written or drawn on bathroom walls.
Now before you say, “Lots of things rhyme with latrinalia, according to Rhymezone,” let me add that Rhymezone is WRONG!
Since the Final Stressed Syllable of latrinalia is NAL, true rhyme words must end in “alia” preceded by a Different Consonant, such as AuSTRalia, or mamMalia, or reGalia, or the two words I use in this limerick:
If you happen to read latrinalia,
You won’t find any sesquipedalia,
You’ll see swear words and gripes
Writ by marginal types,
But no poems inspired by Thalia.
The lim’ricks I’m likely to pick
As winners grab on to me quick.
I get kicks when they’re punny
And clever and funny
Skillful wordplay will oft do the trick.
I prefer not to grumble or whine,
But alas, I can’t seem to refine
The end of this verse.
And to make matters worse,
My muse’s behavior’s malign.
Some archaic words cry out for a comeback and “forwallowed” is one of them. (It means “weary from tossing and turning all night.”)
I tossed and I turned through the night,
So I’m suff’ring insomnia’s blight.
My energy’s hollowed.
I’m feeling forwallowed…
And hope I recall how to write.
I’ve been trying to write, but in vain;
My muse has escaped from my brain.
It started last night
With a rip-roaring fight,
When I called something “trite and inane.”
“You should give me more credit!” she said.
“I work hard while you’re sleeping in bed.”
I called my muse “greedy,”
“Ill-humored,” and “needy.”
She said, “You’ll be sorry,” then fled.
She was right, for she’s great with a wry line,
And fine at supplying a sly line.
So I’m begging: Come back!
I’ll be nice. No more flak!
But dear muse, you’re not getting a byline!
It’s “Asparagus Day.” I’m no fan,
Though of course I’m not pushing a ban.
Why’s “asparagus” tossed
Mid-line, where it’s lost?
I could NOT make it rhyme right or scan.
In honor of Limerick Day, I’ve written Defending The Limerick:
Some poets deem lim’ricks inferior,
Claiming THEIR kind of verse is superior.
I suspect they lack wit.
Can they rhyme? Not a bit!
I conclude they have motives ulterior.
Said a smart-ass: “Your lim’rick is marred,
Cuz you’ve used the phrase ‘feathered and tarred,’
And that’s backwards! It’s ‘tarred
And feathered.’” On guard
Against humorless ‘helpers.’ They’re barred!
And to folks who have no sense of humor,
Whether Gen-X or Z or a boomer,
You have lim’rick advice?
Please don’t give it. Think twice;
It’s as welcome as Covid or tumor!
There are times when I feel like a fraud,
As I stare at a lim’rick that’s flawed
And can’t manage to fix it.
Instead, I must nix it;
Its issues can NOT be ignawed!
Said a frustrated man with a curse,
“My quest to get published was worse
Than I ever expected.”
He sounded dejected,
But nixed giving chapter and verse.
To cross ev’ry “T” ain’t just fine;
It’s required — not merely benign.
But by crossing a “U,”
You have set it askew…
And in fact you are crossing the line.
I am tired of meter and rhyming!
I have HAD it with assonant timing!
No more lim’ricks! I’m done!
My new way to have fun
Will be something outdoorsy — rock climbing.
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using DRONES at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to REJECTION, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best REJECTION-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on March 6, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, March 5, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my DRONES-rhyme limerick:
The anatomy prof provokes groans;
He tells anecdotes (endless) and drones.
Students stare at the clock,
Read their email, and mock
Him for tales that are never bare bones.
And here’s my REJECTION-themed limerick:
A man had a bee in his bonnet
About writing a humorous sonnet.
No one cared for his style,
So he built a flop-pile
Of rejections and plopped down upon it.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
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