A limerick for National Proofreading Day:
It is “National Proofreading Day,”
A reminder to keep flubs at bay.
Uncaught flaws in my verse
Are dismaying; I curse
At my lapses on shameful display.
Archive for the ‘Writing & Publishing Humor’ Category
Happy Proofreading Day! (Limerick)
Wednesday, March 8th, 2023Aligning My Verse (Haiku and Limerick)
Monday, February 20th, 2023Using the poetry prompt “align,” I turned my haiku into a limerick:
A prompt’s been assigned.
Should Rhymezone-dot-com be mined?
My rhymes are aligned.
***
A poetry prompt’s been assigned.
Rhymezone tempts me with rhymes to be mined.
I could write some haiku,
But I’ve lim’ricks to do.
Must ensure that my rhymes are aligned.
Non-Erased Memory (Limerick)
Tuesday, January 24th, 2023Though I’ve tried to, I cannot erase
My mem’ry of messes I’d face
When I needed to fix
Penciled words. (I was six.)
Defacement would follow apace.
Happy “Word Nerd Day!” (Limerick)
Monday, January 9th, 2023It’s “National Word Nerd Day.” Yay!
I’m a “word nerd.” It’s true. Ev’ry day
I try to learn new words,
Recalling but few words;
In my brain they’re reluctant to stay.
A Muse Quatrain
Tuesday, December 20th, 2022When I need inspiration
I summon my muse.
When she doesn’t come through,
Then I check out the news.
The Ex-Jogger (Limerick)
Sunday, November 27th, 2022A fellow who frequently jogs
Tripped over some badly placed logs.
He fell down, hit his noggin,
Which ended his joggin’.
His new hobby is verse about “frogs.”
Yet Another “Punctuation Day” Limerick
Saturday, September 24th, 2022How to punctuate: That is the query.
Ill-timed marks can be irksome and dreary.
Bangs, ellipses, and dashes
Add drama in flashes.
Overuse is abusive!!! — Be leery!!!!!
(National Punctuation Day is celebrated yearly on September 24th.)
Lusting For Lusty Limericks? (Limerick)
Monday, September 12th, 2022Must a lim’rick be bawdy and lusty?
Has that “rule” become mis’rably musty?
I like lims of all kinds
From both lewd and chaste minds,
Even those just a tad upper crusty.
Today’s Rhyming Challenge (Limerick)
Monday, September 5th, 2022Sometimes I challenge myself by using a hard-to-rhyme word in a limerick. In today’s case, it’s “latrinalia,” which means stuff written or drawn on bathroom walls.
Now before you say, “Lots of things rhyme with latrinalia, according to Rhymezone,” let me add that Rhymezone is WRONG!
Since the Final Stressed Syllable of latrinalia is NAL, true rhyme words must end in “alia” preceded by a Different Consonant, such as AuSTRalia, or mamMalia, or reGalia, or the two words I use in this limerick:
If you happen to read latrinalia,
You won’t find any sesquipedalia,
You’ll see swear words and gripes
Writ by marginal types,
But no poems inspired by Thalia.
What Makes Me Laugh (Limerick)
Wednesday, August 17th, 2022The lim’ricks I’m likely to pick
As winners grab on to me quick.
I get kicks when they’re punny
And clever and funny
Skillful wordplay will oft do the trick.
Writer’s Lament (Limerick)
Monday, July 25th, 2022I prefer not to grumble or whine,
But alas, I can’t seem to refine
The end of this verse.
And to make matters worse,
My muse’s behavior’s malign.
Wallowing In Fatigue (Limerick)
Friday, July 22nd, 2022Some archaic words cry out for a comeback and “forwallowed” is one of them. (It means “weary from tossing and turning all night.”)
I tossed and I turned through the night,
So I’m suff’ring insomnia’s blight.
My energy’s hollowed.
I’m feeling forwallowed…
And hope I recall how to write.
Musing About My Muse (3-Verse Limerick)
Thursday, June 16th, 2022I’ve been trying to write, but in vain;
My muse has escaped from my brain.
It started last night
With a rip-roaring fight,
When I called something “trite and inane.”
“You should give me more credit!” she said.
“I work hard while you’re sleeping in bed.”
I called my muse “greedy,”
“Ill-humored,” and “needy.”
She said, “You’ll be sorry,” then fled.
She was right, for she’s great with a wry line,
And fine at supplying a sly line.
So I’m begging: Come back!
I’ll be nice. No more flak!
But dear muse, you’re not getting a byline!
Not Celebrating Asparagus (Limerick)
Tuesday, May 24th, 2022It’s “Asparagus Day.” I’m no fan,
Though of course I’m not pushing a ban.
Why’s “asparagus” tossed
Mid-line, where it’s lost?
I could NOT make it rhyme right or scan.
Defending The Limerick
Thursday, May 12th, 2022In honor of Limerick Day, I’ve written Defending The Limerick:
Some poets deem lim’ricks inferior,
Claiming THEIR kind of verse is superior.
I suspect they lack wit.
Can they rhyme? Not a bit!
I conclude they have motives ulterior.
Unwanted Advice (2-Verse Limerick)
Saturday, May 7th, 2022Said a smart-ass: “Your lim’rick is marred,
Cuz you’ve used the phrase ‘feathered and tarred,’
And that’s backwards! It’s ‘tarred
And feathered.’” On guard
Against humorless ‘helpers.’ They’re barred!
And to folks who have no sense of humor,
Whether Gen-X or Z or a boomer,
You have lim’rick advice?
Please don’t give it. Think twice;
It’s as welcome as Covid or tumor!
Unruly Limericks (Limerick)
Tuesday, April 12th, 2022There are times when I feel like a fraud,
As I stare at a lim’rick that’s flawed
And can’t manage to fix it.
Instead, I must nix it;
Its issues can NOT be ignawed!
A Writer’s Woes (Limerick)
Tuesday, April 12th, 2022Said a frustrated man with a curse,
“My quest to get published was worse
Than I ever expected.”
He sounded dejected,
But nixed giving chapter and verse.
More Idiom Idiocy (Limerick)
Monday, April 4th, 2022To cross ev’ry “T” ain’t just fine;
It’s required — not merely benign.
But by crossing a “U,”
You have set it askew…
And in fact you are crossing the line.
My Quarter-Year Resolution (Limerick)
Friday, April 1st, 2022I am tired of meter and rhyming!
I have HAD it with assonant timing!
No more lim’ricks! I’m done!
My new way to have fun
Will be something outdoorsy — rock climbing.
