I was inspired to write both a limerick and a haiku when encountering the #weird prompt in Mastodon:
When weirdness prevails,
invading lives ev’ry day,
is weirdness still weird?
and
Dear hubby, you look rather weird;
Can’t get used to your black and white beard.
A chin that’s hair-free —
What sheer joy that would be!
So how ’bout it? Let’s get your face sheared!
No Siri for me — I’m serious!
I’m referring to Apple’s wise-cracking, female-voiced digital personal assistant, now available on the iPhone 4S.
Limerick Ode to the iPhone’s Siri
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s a newfangled Apple bot, Siri—
A bantering gal, rather eerie.
What a talkative lass!
I’m planning to pass.
Would a male bot be somewhat less cheery?
Some men send their wives Hallmark greeting cards. Then there’s Dick Kleis of Zwingle, Iowa, who got a bit more “creative” on his wife Carole’s birthday. He spent three hours spelling out a huge love note in 120,000 pounds of “good, soft, gushy, warm” manure. And proving that there’s no accounting for taste, his wife actually liked it, saying her hubby “dung good”.
Attention, dear hubby Mark … and any other man who might be inspired by this story on a birthday, anniversary, or Valentine’s Day: Don’t even think about it!
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
How To Muck Up Gift-Giving
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear hubby, I’d really be miffed
If you gave me manure as a gift.
Now I don’t expect plush
If you ain’t feeling flush.
But dung? Sweet revenge will be swift.
A Lamb On The Lam (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A lamb on the lam in the City
Of New York, which most clearly has pity:
The lamb escapee
Said, “You ain’t eating me!”
He was pardoned, and so ends this ditty.
I couldn’t resist writing a limerick about the seven-month-old lamb that escaped a live-animal market in The Bronx, New York and led police on a several block chase before it was captured. Animal lovers will be glad to know that instead of being returned to the market, it was delivered to an animal sanctuary.
(You can find more of my animal humor and verse here and more of my food humor and poetry here.)
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
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