Archive for the ‘Television (TV) Humor’ Category
Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011
After flunking (badly) The Guardian’s Who Said This — Gaddafi or Charlie Sheen quiz, I forced myself to watch ABC’s entire 20/20 Charlie Sheen interview conducted (I’m not sure how) by Andrea Canning. Yikes!
I’m no shrink, but if Sheen isn’t certifiable, I can’t imagine who is. Yet Sheen’s suing CBS and Warner Bros. for canceling Two and a Half Men. CBS and Warner Bros. should keep a copy on hand of ABC’s interview. Because that show gives CBS all the ammunition it needs to defeat Sheen’s case. We’re talking loony-tunes-uninsurable!
And so, Charlie Sheen has earned himself two “Dear Charlie” letter limericks. Here’s the first:
Dear Charlie, you’re acting bizarre.
We don’t need yet another sick star.
You appear on the brink
Of a breakdown, yet think
You’re not crazy, which proves that you are.
And here’s my second limerick:
Dear Charlie, you’re losing your sheen.
Once funny, you’re now turning mean.
It’s clear that you’re sick.
Get some help. Do it quick!
And stop wasting your comedy gene.
(You can find more letters at Write A Letter.)
Tags: ABC, Andrea Canning, CBS, Celebrities, Charlie Sheen, Entertainment Limerick, Guardian, Interview Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Media Limerick, Mental Health, Muammar Gaddafi, TV Humor, Two and a Half Men, Warner Bros.
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Celebrity Humor, Entertainment Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Insurance Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Letter Limericks, Limericks, Media Humor, Television (TV) Humor | 18 Comments »
Sunday, February 6th, 2011
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A man who reported the news…
Here’s mine:
Newsy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man who reported the news
Had some very odd habits and views.
He’d rant and he’d rave
And refuse to behave.
And when caught in a lie, he blamed booze.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Bad Behavior, Bad Habits Humor, Booze Humor, Media Limerick, News Limerick, Personality Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Reporters Humor, TV Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Communication Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Media Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Television (TV) Humor | 27 Comments »
Saturday, February 5th, 2011
Help! I can’t stop writing Super Bowl limericks! After reading about the disastrous Dallas weather leading up to tomorrow’s Super Bowl game, I felt compelled to write this limerick. (Full disclosure: Roughly a zillion years ago I lived in Dallas, played oboe in the Dallas Symphony, and taught oboe at SMU.)
Yet Another 2011 Super Bowl Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A friend of ours living in Dallas
Likes to brag that his city’s a palace,
Taunting “Never get snow!”
Then it snowed (don’t you know)
On the game. I won’t laugh cuz it’s callous.
Tags: Arlington, Cowboys Stadium, Dallas Texas, February Holidays, Football Humor, Green Bay Packers, NFL, Pittsburgh Steelers, SMU, Snow Verse, Sports Humor, Super Bowl Sunday, Weather Humor
Posted in Entertainment Humor, Games Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, Recreation & Fun Humor, Sports Humor, Television (TV) Humor | 2 Comments »
Saturday, February 5th, 2011
If you read my limerick about the NFL playoffs, you probably assume I won’t be watching tomorrow’s Super Bowl game in snow-challenged Dallas. And you’d be right:
Not Souped Up By The Super Bowl (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There are those who find football a gas.
But when football’s on, I take a pass.
I treat baseball the same.
Just don’t like any game
That has balls. I would rather mow grass.
Tags: Arlington, Cowboys Stadium, Dallas Texas, February Holidays, Football Humor, Green Bay Packers, NFL, Pittsburgh Steelers, Sports Humor, Super Bowl Sunday
Posted in Entertainment Humor, Games Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, Recreation & Fun Humor, Sports Humor, Television (TV) Humor | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, February 2nd, 2011
This week Big Tent Poetry provides a bunch of word prompts, urging us to use one or more in our poems. I used three of them in my haiku (remote, function, handle) and one in a limerick (remote.)
First, my limerick:
I’m tempted to hide the remote
From my spouse in a closet or coat,
Cuz he flicks ev’ry station
In rapid rotation.
Missing show after show gets my goat.
*****
And now my haiku:
Dysfunctional spouse
Wields remote ADD-style.
Wife can’t handle it.
Tags: ADD Haiku, ADD Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Husband Wife Limerick, Marriage Verse, Television Limerick, TV Humor, TV Remote
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Entertainment Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Media Humor, Obsessions Humor, Television (TV) Humor | 21 Comments »
Sunday, January 16th, 2011
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A sports-loving fellow named Lee…
Here’s mine:
Sporty Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A sports-loving fellow named Lee
Had a very bad elbow and knee,
Which he blamed on a fall
Suffered playing pro ball,
But he only knew sports from TV.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Liar Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Sports Fans, Sports Humor, Sports Injury, Television Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Entertainment Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Leisure Time Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Sports Humor, Television (TV) Humor | 22 Comments »
Monday, January 3rd, 2011
This question will probably make me sound ageist and grumpy. In my preemptive defense, let me say:
1) I’ve been tossing AARP’s annoying magazine for years; and
2) I am grumpy.
So here’s my question: Have you ever noticed that Andy Rooney isn’t funny anymore?
I used to be a fan and would never turn 60 Minutes off until Rooney’s monologue was over. I even owned one of his humor collections. But I can’t remember the last time Andy Rooney made me laugh … or even giggle. These days his commentaries make me cringe.
Now to those who may argue that I’m not funny either, I say:
CBS doesn’t pay me a gazillion bucks a year to not be funny!
And no, this limerick isn’t funny either:
Have You Ever Noticed…
By Madeleine Begun Kane
At the risk of incurring some ire:
Andy Rooney should really retire.
It’s not that he’s old,
And I don’t mean to scold,
But he’s funny no more, and it’s dire.
Tags: 60 Minutes, AARP, Andy Rooney, CBS, Celebrities, Humorists, TV Humor
Posted in Celebrity Humor, Entertainment Humor, Limericks, Media Humor, Public Figures, Television (TV) Humor | 5 Comments »
Thursday, October 14th, 2010
Hubby Mark and I watched 30 Rock Live tonight, and I sure hope the West Coast version was better than the East Coast version. What a train wreck! And I say this as a huge fan of Alec Baldwin (who, like me, hails from the Massapequas) and of Tina Fey.
30 Rock Live — Limerick Review
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Disappointed in 30 Rock Live.
I kept waiting for jokes to arrive.
The cast looked uptight.
(And I’m being polite.)
If the critics applaud it’s just jive.
Tags: 30 Rock Live, Alec Baldwin, Massapequa, NBC, Sitcom Review, Television Review, Tina Fey, TV Humor
Posted in Entertaining New Yorkers, Limericks, Media Humor, Television (TV) Humor | 4 Comments »
Monday, September 27th, 2010
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman who yearned for great fame…
Here’s mine. (It’s a two-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Infamous Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman who yearned for great fame
Had no talent that people could name.
But reality’s odd:
Her voluptuous bod
Led to stints on American Dame.
The series showed gals well endowed,
As scantily clad as allowed.
Then losers were kicked,
As front-runners were picked.
You don’t like that idea? Join the crowd.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!
Tags: Appearance Humor, Fame Limerick, Media Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Reality Shows, TV Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Entertainment Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Media Humor, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts, Social Satire, Television (TV) Humor | 20 Comments »
Monday, September 6th, 2010
TV weather reporters in the New York metropolitan area had a wonderful time last week, warning us about Hurricane Earl and all the rain that was surely coming our way. They gave us “teaser” reports early in the news shows, making us wait, as usual, for forecasts that turned out to be wrong.
We had hurricane watches and warnings galore … but no actual rain. In short, New York City weather predictions were a washout.
Weathering Those Weather Reports (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Why use weather reports as your guide?
I really don’t mean to be snide,
But they tend to be wrong
And they take way too long.
Want a forecast that’s right? Go outside.
Tags: Hurricanes, New York Weather, TV Weather Reports, Weather Humor, Weatherman Poem
Posted in Limericks, New York Limericks & Haiku, Outdoors Humor, Television (TV) Humor, Weather Humor | 8 Comments »
Wednesday, June 16th, 2010
I’m not exactly a sports aficionado. But I’m guessing it’s safe to presume that most games are expected to be noisy.
Apparently, though, South African soccer fans take such noise to a new ear-piercing level, enthusiastically blowing vuvuzelas in the stadiums. What’s a vuvuzela? Well, I know from oboes, but not from vuvuzelas. However, I’ve just learned they’re cacophonous, droning, deafening horns (blown like a brass instrument) that are driving TV World Cup viewers insane.
Vive Vuvuzelas? Please, No! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Attempting to watch World Cup soccer?
Then you’re likely to go off your rocker:
Vuvuzelas abound
With their loud, droning sound.
They are deafening. Help! Need a blocker!
Tags: Brass Players, Football Humor, Hearing Loss, June Holidays, Musical Instruments, Noise Humor, Soccer Fans, Soccer Stadiums, South Africa, Sports Humor, Television Limerick, Vuvuzela, World Cup
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Sports Humor, Television (TV) Humor | 9 Comments »
Friday, May 28th, 2010
Another American Idol season has come to a close and, once again, the wrong contestant won. Yes, the nervous guy, Lee DeWyze is the new American Idol, besting beating out the far superior singer, Crystal Bowersox. I’m disappointed, but not surprised. Why am I not surprised? I explain in my latest two-verse limerick:
American Idol’s Problem … Crystallized
By Madeleine Begun Kane
American Idol is done,
And sadly, the weaker guy won.
The Bowersox voice
Was a far better choice.
Crystal’s vocals sure hit a home run.
And here’s what has made me quite vexed:
It’s the power of youngsters who text.
They have time on their hands
To be diligent fans
And decide who will win the crown next.
Tags: American Idol, Contestants, Crystal Bowersox, Fans, Fox TV Humor, Lee DeWyze, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, Simon Cowell, Singing Voice, Talent Contests, Television Review, Texting, Youngsters
Posted in Celebrity Humor, Entertainment Humor, Limericks, Media Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Television (TV) Humor | Comments Off on American Idol’s Problem … Crystallized
Sunday, May 9th, 2010
Limerick Ode To Betty White
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The comedy legend named White
Hosted SNL Saturday night.
She managed to sell
Ev’ry line oh so well,
Even those that lacked humor and bite.
Betty’s sassy and charming — a pro.
How she does what she does, I don’t know.
Her timing is great.
She’s a young eighty-eight,
Who’d enhance any movie or show.
Tags: Actresses, Betty White, Comedy Limerick, Entertainers, Funny Performers, NBC, Saturday Night Live, SNL, Television Humor
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Celebrity Humor, Entertainment Humor, Media Humor, Public Figures, Television (TV) Humor | 4 Comments »
Tuesday, March 23rd, 2010
From time to time, I review a television show, movie, or play via limerick. I wrote this verse after renting True Blood’s first season via Blockbuster and learning that we have to wait a couple of months before the second one becomes available.
Not only do I love this HBO show, I even adore its theme song: Bad Things, by Jace Everett.
Hooked On True Blood (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My latest addiction’s True Blood.
Not the drink, but the cable show, bud.
I watched the first season
And well beyond reason
Need more. Not released yet? Oh, crud!
Tags: Cable-TV Humor, HBO, Jace Everett, Television Limerick, True Blood
Posted in Addiction Humor, Entertainment Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Media Humor, Television (TV) Humor | 2 Comments »
Sunday, March 7th, 2010
Millions of my fellow New Yorkers are very unhappy today because they can’t watch the Oscars or anything else on ABC. Why? Because their cable company, Cablevision, is having a financial feud with Disney-ABC.
My mother-in-law, for instance, doesn’t know or care who’s at fault. She just figures that for all the money she pays each month, she’s entitled to her nightly dose of Diane.
Ironically, my husband and I have no such problem because we don’t have cable-TV. In fact we don’t pay for TV access at all.
It’s not that we don’t watch television. It’s just that there are other things we prefer to overpay for.
Besides, we get ABC and the other networks plus sundry other stations just fine with a $40 pair of Philips “rabbit ears.” It may
not be an elegant-looking solution. But it sure beats those monthly bills.
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Ode To Rabbit Ears
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Some New Yorkers with cable-TV
Are freaking — can’t get ABC
And its Oscar show bash,
Though they pay tons of cash,
While our “rabbit ears” get it for free.
Tags: Cable-TV Humor, Digital Antennas, Disney-ABC, Entertainment Limerick, Minimalism, Money Poems, New York Verse, Technology Limerick, Television Limerick
Posted in Entertainment Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Minimalist Humor, Money & Finance Humor, New York Limericks & Haiku, Technology Humor, Television (TV) Humor | 3 Comments »
Monday, February 22nd, 2010
As I’ve mentioned before, figure skating is the only sport I enjoy watching on television.
And as much as I was rooting for American skater Evan Lysacek to win the men’s figuring skating gold, I do admire Russia’s Evgeni Plushenko. In fact, I was looking forward to seeing if he could land himself a second gold medal.
But I join many of Plushenko’s fans in being disappointed by his ungracious post-long-program remarks.
After U.S. skater Evan Lysacek took the 2010 men’s figure skating Olympic gold and Plushenko was relegated to silver, Plushenko seemingly put Evan and the other contenders down, saying:
Overall my basic position and attitude is that movement needs to go forward and never stop, never go back. I think people need to do lots of quads.”
As McClatchy’s Gil LeBreton observes:
Because the Russian skater was the only one in the room who does quads, his remarks Thursday night came across as self-serving — sour grapes, unbecoming of a guy who thought he could take three years off from the sport and then dance in and steal the gold medal.
Plushenko, quadruple jump and all, received the silver medal in Thursday night’s men’s figure skating finals. U.S. skater Evan Lysacek, who attempted no quads in his dramatic, near-flawless performance, was rewarded with the gold.
This brings me to my latest limerick:
Thin-Skinned Plushenko Skating On Thin Ice?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Plushenko, your program was fine,
But did not deserve gold, so don’t whine.
Stop implying your quad
Should have earned you the nod.
Evan beat you. His skate was divine.
Tags: Evan Lysacek, Evgeni Plushenko, Olympic Gold, Olympics Figure Skating, Poor Sportsmanship, Quad Jump, Vancouver Olympics, Winter Olympics 2010
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Canada, Entertainment Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Figure Skating Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, Public Figures, Recreation & Fun Humor, Sports Humor, Television (TV) Humor | Comments Off on Thin-Skinned Plushenko Skating On Thin Ice?
Saturday, February 6th, 2010
This probably sounds un-American, but I never watch football on television … or anywhere else, for that matter. Not even the Super Bowl.
Okay, maybe the half-time show for the musical acts. (I love The Who!) And perhaps a commercial or two, if my husband’s hysterical laughter gets my attention. But that’s it!
Super Bowl Sunday Blues (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I rarely watch sports on TV.
Figure skating is all that I’ll see.
So on Super Bowl Sunday,
I dream about Monday.
Till then, from our screen I must flee.
Tags: February Holidays, Halftime Shows, Indianapolis Colts, New Orleans Saints, NFL, Olympics Figure Skating, Sports Humor, Super Bowl Sunday, Superbowl, Television Limerick, The Who
Posted in Entertainment Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Recreation & Fun Humor, Sports Humor, Television (TV) Humor | 11 Comments »
Tuesday, January 19th, 2010
I’m on Team CoCo, as you can tell from my Conan-Leno talk show wars limerick.
But unlike many Team CoCo members, I put most of the blame on NBC … and not on Jay Leno. NBC, after all, has been treating both O’Brien and Leno like two very pricey pawns. And doing it incompetently, to boot.
Jay’s been taking quite the beating in the press. So I watched Jay’s Monday night attempt to repair his image and set the record straight with interest. Unfortunately, I found his humble, nice guy shtick overdone and just a wee bit nauseating. Methinks Leno has gotten some really bad public relations advice.
And speaking of advice, here’s some advice for Jay Leno in limerick form:
Dear Jay
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Jay, you sure poured it on thick.
You’re a poor, lowly country-boy hick?
You just do what your told?
Merely one of the fold?
Give your PR adviser a kick.
Tags: Conan O'Brien, Jay Leno, Late Night TV, Media, NBC, Team Co-Co, Team Conan, Television Humor, Tonight Show
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Business Humor, Celebrity Humor, Conan O'Brien Verse, Entertainment Humor, Jay Leno Humor, Limericks, Media Humor, Television (TV) Humor | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, January 12th, 2010
A limerick in honor of Conan O’Brien’s Solomon-like decision about the Tonight Show — not to “seriously damage what [he considers] to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting,” (I wrote it both as a fan and as a recovering lawyer.)
Go, Conan!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Conan, I’m glad you refused.
By your Network, you’ve sure been abused.
You’re right to be teed.
You’re a class act, indeed.
NBC’s breach can not be excused.
Update: I haven’t seen Conan’s contract. But here’s NBC’s argument, as I understand it: NBC can legally air The Tonight Show with Conan at 12:05 a.m. after a new half-hour Leno show, because O’Brien’s contract doesn’t specify a time. I don’t buy it.
Following NBC’s argument to its logical conclusion, NBC could air The Tonight Show at 4:00 a.m., or even at noon. In fact, by NBC’s reasoning, Conan could have stayed at his old 12:35 a.m. slot and Jay could have kept his original 11:35 p.m. Tonight Show slot. All NBC would have had to do would be to change the names of the shows: Conan’s to the Tonight Show, and Jay’s to the Jay Leno Show. Sorry, NBC, this doesn’t pass the straight-faced test.
One more point: Rumor has it that Jay’s contract specifies a 10 p.m. time, and that (the argument goes) this weakens Conan’s position. I disagree. Conan O’Brien was being promoted to a show that already existed in a specific time slot, whereas Jay’s show was being created from scratch. So they are not analogous situations.
Update 2: Is this a slam dunk for Conan? No. But as a “recovering lawyer” who litigated my share of contract disputes, I’d rather take Conan’s case to a jury.
Tags: Conan O'Brien, Jay Leno, Late Night TV, Law Humor, Media, NBC, Team CoCo, Team Conan, Television Humor, Tonight Show
Posted in Business Humor, Celebrity Humor, Conan O'Brien Verse, Entertainment Humor, Jay Leno Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Media Humor, Television (TV) Humor | 4 Comments »
