Archive for the ‘Telephone Humor’ Category

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Patently Evil? (Litigation Limerick)

Sunday, March 14th, 2010

Apple and Google are in the midst of a fascinating feud over their competing products, Apple’s iPhone and Google’s Android. Oddly enough, Apple’s co-founder Steve Jobs and Google’s chief executive Eric Schmidt once worked well together, even bringing Google’s search and mapping services to Apple’s iPhone. But Apple’s feeling aggrieved these days and has filed suit against mobile phone maker (and Google supplier) HTC, alleging HTC violated Apple’s iPhone patents.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Patently Evil?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There’s a battle in hi-tech computing:
Yes, Google and Apple are feuding.
It’s Android v. iPhone.
Says Jobs, you stole my phone,
Alleging a large patent looting.

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Posted in Business Humor, Computer Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Mobile Web, Technology Humor, Telephone Humor | Comments Off on Patently Evil? (Litigation Limerick)

Pedestrian Plea

Wednesday, May 20th, 2009

Pedestrian Plea (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There once was a fellow named Mike,
Who was bored while out riding his bike.
So he spoke on his cell,
Did some texting, then fell.
Multitaskers, oh please take a hike.

Update: I’ve just found out that November 17th Is “National Take A Hike Day.” Something tells me, it may be meant to celebrate something a bit different.

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Posted in Behavior & Personality, Computer Humor, Health Verse, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Multitasking Humor, Odd Holidays, Outdoors Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Recreation & Fun Humor, Technology Humor, Telephone Humor, Walking Humor | 1 Comment »

Ode To Takeout (Song Parody to be sung to My Favorite Things)

Tuesday, March 10th, 2009

I’m not much of a cook. Don’t believe me? Just try reading (or singing) my Ode To Takeout song parody, which I wrote for And They Cook, Too: A Blogger Cookbook and fundraiser for Doctors Without Borders.

Ode To Takeout (Sing To My Favorite Things)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Baked meat lasagna and Indian curry.
Sesame noodles. I’m famished! Please hurry!
Buddha’s Delight that is fit for a king.
Takeout is one of my favorite things.

Greek beef moussaka and cheese ravioli.
Brocc’li and eggplant, stir fried with aioli.
Barbecued chicken: Just breasts and some wings.
Takeout is one of my favorite things.

When I’m feeling
Pangs of hunger,
Need fine food to eat,
I thumb through my menus and pick up the phone.
Cause takeout just can’t be beat.

Turkey with stuffing that isn’t too mushy.
Beef yakiniku, but please hold the sushi.
Salad that’s topped with a dressing that zings.
Takeout is one of my favorite things.

Chicken with walnuts and garlic, quite spicy.
Filet mignon. I don’t care that it’s pricey.
Lo mein and dumplings and fried onion rings.
Takeout is one of my favorite things.

When I yearn for
Something tasty
Need good food to eat,
I leaf through my menus and reach for the phone.
Cause takeout just can’t be beat.

(Author’s Note: I live in an ethnic food wonderland — Bayside, Queens, New York — which is why all this and more can be (and often is) delivered to my home.)

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Posted in Behavior & Personality, Food & Drink Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Queens Verse & Humor, Song Parodies, Telephone Humor | 7 Comments »

The Outgoing Message I’d Love To (But Probably Shouldn’t) Leave On My Answering Machine (Limerick)

Friday, May 9th, 2008

The Outgoing Message I’d love To (But Probably Shouldn’t) Leave On My Answering Machine
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Your party can’t come to the phone.
She’s at lunch or home sick.  Please don’t moan.
Leave a message, or not.
I don’t care — I’m a bot.
But my owner says, “Leave me alone!”

(For more phone-related verse, visit Sunday Scribblings.)

UPDATE: Happy National Inane Answering Machine Message Day! (January 30th)

UPDATE 2: April 25 is National Telephone Day.

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Posted in Business Humor, Communication Humor, Computer Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Social Satire, Technology Humor, Telephone Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | 6 Comments »

Pedestrian Poems (Limerick and Haiku Prompt)

Friday, February 29th, 2008

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is walking. First, my limerick:

Ode To A New York City Walk Signal
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Oh WALK light, you change way too fast.
Your pedestrian green doesn’t last.
You force me to run
Cross the street, which ain’t fun.
So thanks for this cumbersome cast.

And now, my walking-related haiku:

Solitary stroll
To escape the telephone.
Cell phone outsmarts me.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about walking. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry.

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

NOTE: My Ode To A New York City Walk Signal limerick is an apostrophe.  And no, I’m not referring to a punctuation mark.  Miss Rumphius tells us that an “apostrophe is a poem which directly addresses a person or thing that is generally absent.” So I thought I’d address one to a walk signal that’s tormented my husband and me for years.

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Posted in Haiku & Senryu, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limericks, Outdoors Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Forms, Telephone Humor, Walking Humor | 12 Comments »

Time Travel

Monday, October 22nd, 2007

I love a good challenge, and Tricia at Miss Rumphius has provided a tough one: Write a poem that begins with one of five preexisting lines. I’ve written both a limerick and a four-liner, altering the limerick’s first line a bit so it conforms to limerick rhythm rules.

Here’s my limerick:

Time Travel
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Please stop all the clocks.  Cut the phone.
Pull the plug on each ’puter you own.
Ain’t the silence sublime
As you go back in time?
With your thoughts you’re at last all alone.

And here’s my four-liner:

I wandered lonely as a cloud,
While wondering why I felt so cowed
By life, while others lived unbowed.
Must be  like them, I vowed, aloud.

UPDATE: My limerick seems appropriate for Simplicity Day, celebrated July 12th in honor of Henry David Thoreau’s birthday.

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Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Mental Health Humor, Minimalist Humor, Odd Holidays, Technology Humor, Telephone Humor, Time Humor | 15 Comments »

Ode To The Mobile Web (Cell Phone Browsing Humor)

Wednesday, September 12th, 2007

Welcome mobile readers!  If you’re browsing via cell phone, I’ve written this limerick just for you:

Ode To The Mobile Web
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My blog has gone mobile — how cool!
You can surf on a cellular tool
While on foot, in your car,
Or wherever you are.
Mobile web browsing — cellulars rule!

If you’d like to subscribe to this humor blog’s mobile feed, click on the mobile icon just under my photo on the right sidebar.  And don’t forget to subscribe to my political satire blog’s mobile feed too. 

Oh — I almost forgot — if you’d like to turn your own blog into a mobile site, here’s how to do it. And you might even earn some advertising and affiliate revenue doing it.

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Posted in Blogging Humor, Internet Humor, Limericks, Mobile Web, Technology Humor, Telephone Humor | Comments Off on Ode To The Mobile Web (Cell Phone Browsing Humor)

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