Said the coach to the batter, “The fray
That you started ain’t going away:
Remember the gurneys?
Those ‘fans’ got attorneys
Who’ve sued us for batt’ry today.”
Archive for the ‘Sports Humor’ Category
The Fray (Limerick)
Saturday, May 18th, 2024Balls! (Limerick)
Friday, April 5th, 2024It is National Volleyball Day.
Will I celebrate? No! Never! Nay!
I’ve a life-long approach
To all balls that encroach:
Duck and hide, if one’s coming my way.
My Unathletic Career (Limerick)
Saturday, March 16th, 2024My endurance in gym class was poor.
I was slow, klutzy, small, and what’s more,
The mere sight of a ball
Made me duck. After all,
My two goals were “Break nothing! Don’t score!”
Mini-Golf Madness (Limerick)
Saturday, April 22nd, 2023Last weekend, we took a short stroll
To a mini-golf range — a fun goal,
Though I CAN’T aim at all;
Ended up with no ball,
Its location, alas, a black hole.
Unadventurous Limerick
Monday, March 13th, 2023An adventurous person? Hee-hee!
I’m a bit of a coward, you see.
So to physical risks,
I say “No!” All my discs
And my bones seem essential to me.
Sports-Challenged Limerick
Saturday, February 11th, 2023I am NOT up on sports — not at all,
Though I’m guessing most sports use a ball.
Many don’t? Goes to show
How little I know!
Please forgive me my terrible call!
The Ex-Jogger (Limerick)
Sunday, November 27th, 2022A fellow who frequently jogs
Tripped over some badly placed logs.
He fell down, hit his noggin,
Which ended his joggin’.
His new hobby is verse about “frogs.”
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SALE or SAIL at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: December 10, 2022)
Sunday, November 13th, 2022It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SALE or SAIL at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. Here’s the last contest’s winners list.
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to GOSSIP, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best GOSSIP-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: CLASS, CATCH, FLASHY, STARE, GAIN.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on December 11, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 10, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my SALE or SAIL-Rhyme Limerick:
Playing Wordle, for me, is a sport,
Though it doesn’t use balls or a court,
And it fails to entail
Racing skills, or a sail.
(I am more of a “sitting down” sort.)
And here’s my GOSSIP-Themed Limerick:
A gal who was known for her chutzpah
Owned a pricey and popular foot spa.
But she gossiped about
Ev’ry foot-fetish lout,
So alas it’s become a kaput spa.
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
In class, I expelled a loud yawn.
(Its eight o’clock start felt like dawn.)
I stared at the clock
And got caught. Said Prof Locke,
“Bored? Then leave!” In a flash, I was gone.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Not-So-Early Riser (Limerick)
Monday, May 23rd, 2022Get up early for fishing? I’ll yawn
From the thought of awak’ning by dawn.
At the end of the day,
My choice is “No Way!”
I like rising when sunlight’s all gawn.
An Age-Old Story (Limerick)
Tuesday, April 26th, 2022Although her great-uncle was old,
He still loved to play sports; he was bold
And he gave it his all
When he lunged for a ball.
He’d but ONE worry: Catching a cold!
Skating On Thin Ice? (Limerick)
Tuesday, February 15th, 2022Though I usually avoid sports, I love watching competitive figure skating. And it always brings back childhood memories of skating on a lake that probably wasn’t as frozen as my otherwise cautious parents assumed.
As a child, I loved skating on ice.
But take lessons? Pursue it? No dice!
Cuz you can’t be a klutz
Doing axels or lutz.
(I moved on to a different “vice.”)
Limerick Gymnastics
Wednesday, January 26th, 2022Two newly-wed gymnasts were sacked
And told it was time to get packed:
“Since the pair of you wed,
You are always in bed.”
Their defense? “Life’s a balancing act.”
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: DOCK or DOC at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: October 30, 2021)
Saturday, October 16th, 2021It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using DOCK or DOC at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to LIMBS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best LIMB-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on October 31, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, October 30, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my DOCK or DOC-rhyme limerick:
Laryngitis was getting his goat,
So he went to a doctor of note.
“I’ve a hunch,” said the doc,
“That you talk round the clock.”
Said his patient, “Don’t jump down my throat.”
And here’s my LIMB-themed limerick:
A man with an arm in a sling
Had recently injured his wing.
He wistfully said,
“My Frisbee arm’s dead…”
Then headed for one final fling.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Happy Golf Lovers Day! (October 4) (Limerick)
Monday, October 4th, 2021Though I’m no fan of golf, I couldn’t resist writing a Golf Lovers Day limerick:
As a golfer swigged beer in a pub,
He bitched and he gobbled his grub:
“I’ve been flubbing my putts.
Being drubbed drives me nuts!”
The response to that putz? “Join the club!”
Whimsical Limerick
Monday, September 20th, 2021A man in the mood for a swim,
Who would frequently act on a whim,
Dove into a pool
From a tree; hurt his tool…
Vowed to stop going out on a limb.
Self-Assessment (Limerick)
Tuesday, July 27th, 2021At athletics I’m sorely pathetic.
I’m noetic; I guess it’s genetic.
Writing rhyme’s more my speed.
Lim’ricks rule! That’s my creed —
My addictive aesthetic poetic.
Not Lapping Up “Swim A Lap Day” (Limerick)
Thursday, June 24th, 2021Happy “Swim A Lap Day!” (June 24)
“Swim A Lap Day?” I’ve heard that it’s here.
But my swimming is dreadful, I fear.
My strokes are too wild,
And I thrash like a child,
So it’s best that I rest on the pier.
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: ICE at the end of any one line
Sunday, November 27th, 2016It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using ICE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SHOPPING, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best SHOPPING-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on December 11, 2016, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 10, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
I’m a klutz who used FIGURE skates twice.
Would I try again? Never! No dice!
I kept fretting I’d fall,
Hit the wall, and then sprawl,
As I skated on very thin ice.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick Ode To Golf
Wednesday, May 18th, 2016Since it’s Golf Day, I thought I’d address
My embarrassing lack of finesse
Playing golf; Any game
That requires an aim
Leaves me minimal chance of success.
Limerick Ode To Bowling
Thursday, February 25th, 2016A woman who never had bowled
Married into that sport-loving fold.
Forced to play — what a pickle!
But luck is so fickle;
Once beleaguered, she’s relishing gold.
(February 25 is Go Bowling Day, and the second Saturday in August is National Bowling Day.)
