Archive for the ‘Social Satire’ Category
Saturday, November 24th, 2007
Yes, I know this is supposed to be a humor blog. But this “misspent youth” poetry prompt inspired me to write a serious limerick:
Misspent Youth?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
We tend to be charmed and beguiled
By a talented prodigy child—
One who labors all day
With his gifts on display,
Stifling youth, which is meant to be wild.
Tags: Child Prodigy Verse, Misspent Youth, Talented Kids
Posted in Children Humor, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Social Satire | 12 Comments »
Tuesday, November 20th, 2007
Why I Don’t Relish Shopping
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I stare at the shelves in confusion,
Wond’ring why there is such a profusion
Of sizes and styles.
Choices litter the aisles.
Is the simple life just an illusion?
(You can find more of my shopping humor here.)
Tags: Choice, Confusion, Minimalism, Shopping, Simple Life, Supermarket Aisles
Posted in Limericks, Minimalist Humor, Shopping Humor, Social Satire | 9 Comments »
Saturday, September 1st, 2007
As a result of a neighbor’s lawsuit, a Swedish woman can no longer smoke in most of her garden. (And you thought the United States was a litigious country.)
Stockholm – A Swedish woman has been banned by court order from smoking in large parts of her own garden following a complaint from a neighbour…
… The neighbour, a lawyer, filed the complaint with the court in Vaxjo, in southern Sweden, saying he was obliged to wear a mask in his garden when the neighbour lit up.
Weeding Out Crazy Lawsuits (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A cig-hating fellow from Sweden
Sued a gal cause she smoked during weedin’.
Now smoking’s been banned
On much of her land.
What’s next? Litigation o’er readin’?
Tags: Cigarettes, Law Humor, Lawsuit Humor, Lawyers, Litigation Humor, Litigious Society, Neighborly Humor, Neighbors Humor, Smoke-free Satire, Smoking Bans, Smoking Humor, Sweden, Swedish
Posted in Gardens / Plant Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Neighbors Humor, Outdoors Humor, Smell Humor, Smoking Humor, Social Satire | Comments Off on Weeding Out Crazy Lawsuits (Outdoor Smoking Ban Limerick)
Wednesday, August 1st, 2007
I guess I must have led a very sheltered existence. Why do I say that? Because I’d never heard the phrase “five-second rule” until my husband Mark used it as an excuse to eat some treat he’d just dropped on the floor. (And yes, we’re still married.)
I naively assumed that Mark was the only person crazy enough to think germs politely wait five seconds before they attach themselves to goodies. But apparently lots of people (mostly men, I’m assuming) believe that if you drop food on the floor and pick it up really, really fast, it’s safe to eat.
In fact, the belief’s so widespread that some scientists (who apparently didn’t have anything better to do with their time) actually studied the issue. And yes, they concluded that the rule isn’t valid. (Did you really need me — or the scientists — to tell you that?)
This leads to my latest limerick, in which I use the word date instead of husband to protect the guilty … and because husband has too many damned syllables:
The Five-Second What???
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My date dropped dessert on the dirt.
“Please don’t eat it,” I managed to blurt,
As he started to chew
On his now blackened goo,
Saying “5-second rule — it won’t hurt.”
=========
(You can find more of my marriage humor here and more of my food humor here.)
Tags: Dating, Five-Second Rule, Food rules, Germs, Husbands, Marital Relationships, Science Humor, Scientific Studies, Scientists
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Dating Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Polls, Relationship Humor, Science Humor, Social Satire, Time Humor | 1 Comment »
Sunday, July 15th, 2007
May I Please Have Your Paw In Marriage? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Is your schnauzer in love with your collie?
Jolly England can help you, by golly:
Canine weddings—dog marriage
I’d never disparage.
But prenups? Now that would be folly.
Fine Feathers, a farm in the Staffordshire Moorlands, is offering pet “weddings” for people who want their dog, cat, or farm animal to marry its mate. I found this gem of an oddball story in the weird news feeds, which are regularly updated on my offbeat news page.
(You can find more of my dog and animal related poems and humor here and my marriage humour here.)
NOTE ABOUT THE UPDATE: I decided I didn’t like the last line of my limerick and have replaced it with a new one. (The old one was “But please don’t let ferns marry holly.”)
Tags: Animal Verse, Animal Weddings, Canine Poems, Collie, Dog Humor, Jolly England, Pet Limericks, Pet Marriage, Schnauzer
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Social Satire | 7 Comments »
Wednesday, July 4th, 2007
A Modest Dating Proposal For Anxious Guys (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Introducing your gal to your mom?
Are you worried your intro will bomb?
Well here’s some advice
So the meeting goes nice:
First tell her your date’s name is Tom.
Tags: Dates, Dating, Gender Issues, Introductions, Meetings, Modest Proposal, Moms, Mothers, Parenting, Parents
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Relationship Humor, Social Satire | Comments Off on A Modest Dating Proposal For Anxious Guys
Tuesday, June 26th, 2007
Cashing In With “Doggie da Vincis” (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A dog trainer needed some cash,
So she dreamed up a plan—made a splash:
Teaching dogs how to paint
Abstract art. Great they ain’t,
Though their pictures make mine look like trash.
According to a June 2007 AP news story, Mary Stadelbacher, a dog trainer from Salisbury, Maryland, taught three dogs how to hold a paint brush and paint abstract art. The “doggie da Vincis” are being featured in a Salisbury University art gallery and also have a line of greeting cards.
I must admit to being conflicted about this story. On the one hand, it strikes me as utterly absurd and makes me feel bad for artists who paint actual art. On the other hand, those dogs sure as hell paint a lot better than I can.
(You can find more of my dog and animal related verse and humor here and my money humor here.)
Tags: Abstract Art Satire, Animal Training, Canine Poems, Dog Painters, Dog Trainers, Doggie da Vincis, Dogs Humor
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Art Humor / Verse, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Social Satire, Weird News Snark | 9 Comments »
Tuesday, June 19th, 2007
An Arresting Affair (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal in New York was arrested
For strolling outdoors while bare-breasted.
But courts say, “No fair!
You can not make gals wear
Shirts and blouses, cause men go bare-chested.”
Yesterday, CNN reported that Jill Coccaro has received a $29,000 settlement of her civil rights lawsuit against New York City. She’d been arrested for topless strolling and was detained for twelve hours, despite a 1992 New York State appeals court ruling that women have the same right as men to remove their shirts.
(You can find more of my legal verse and humor here, my feminist humor here, and my New York humor and limericks here.)
UPDATE: August 26th is Go Topless Day, sponsored by GoTopless.org.
Tags: August Holidays, Bare Breasts, Bare Chests, Equal Treatment, Feminism, Go Topless Day, Lawsuit Limerick, New York Law, Police Overzealousness, Topless Humor, Topless Strolling, Women's Rights, Wrongful Arrest
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Crime & Punishment Humor, Feminist Satire, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, New York Limericks & Haiku, Odd Holidays, Social Satire, Weird News Snark | 5 Comments »
Sunday, June 10th, 2007
I love animals, so I can understand why pet owners sometimes get a bit carried away. But this takes the kibble:
Yoga for What???
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There is yoga for doggies, I swear—
Caught a canine-filled class on the air;
Watched the owners and pets
Stretch and pose in their sweats—
Cosmic moolah they must have to spare.
UPDATE: Happy “International Yoga Day!” (June 21)
UPDATE 2: I finally have proof that I didn’t make dog yoga (doga) up.
Tags: Canine Humor, Canine Yoga, Dog Humor, Dog Owners, Dog Yoga, Doga, International Day of Yoga, International Yoga Day, June Holidays, Pet Owners, World Yoga Day
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, New Age Humor, Recreation & Fun Humor, Social Satire | 6 Comments »
Tuesday, June 5th, 2007
I’m introducing a new regular feature today — Weird News Snark. How regular? That totally depends on news craziness … and Mad Kane laziness.
So let’s get started:
And you think you’ve got mother-in-law problems?
Private’s platoon sergeant is his mother-in-law, too.
At long last, a good reason to attend your reunion.
ORONO, Maine — Fifty years after taking school sprit to new heights with a paint brush, a University of Maine graduate has received a pardon from the school administration.
Where’s the beef?
FAYETTEVILLE, Ark. (AP) – Guessing about the contents of a cow’s stomach is a thing of the past for University of Arkansas researchers – all they have to do is reach in and take a sample. The university’s Animal Science Department has surgically implanted 4-inch-wide tubes, called cannulas, in the sides of 12 cows.
Yeah, but what were they smoking?
KANSAS CITY, Kansas (AP) – More than 1,680 guitar players turned out, tuned up and took part in what organizers say was a world record rendition of Deep Purple’s “Smoke on the Water” – a song that was the first many of them ever learned.
“Creative” U.S. Lawyers Have Nothing On The Germans.
BAUTZEN, Germany (AP) – Three German teenagers have been spared paying hefty damages after a court ruled it could not prove an ostrich farmer’s claim that their festive firecrackers made one of his birds impotent.
This never happened when Jimmy Carter was president.
SALT LAKE CITY (AP) – A woman was held up during a fill-up. The woman was pumping gasoline Sunday morning when a man stuck something in her back, told her it was a gun and ordered her to start filling up his sport utility vehicle instead of her own car…
Freedom’s for the birds.
BEIJING (Reuters) – Four highly endangered red ibises have been taken back into captivity in China, after two days of free living made [the birds] lose their appetite…
Perhaps those birds could use this fellow’s dietary aid.
A man in southeast China says 40 years of swallowing tree frogs and rats live has helped him avoid tummy ache.
Tags: Crazy News, Mother-in-law Problems, Oddball News, Offbeat News, Snark, Weird News
Posted in Social Satire, Weird News Snark | Comments Off on Weird News Snark (New Regular Feature)
Monday, May 14th, 2007
Do you work with anybody like this? I sure hope not!
Bandwidth Blues
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“I’ve no bandwidth for that,” some folks say.
It’s their style of responding, “No way!
I’ve no time. I am beat.
I have deadlines to meet.
I’m maxed out. I can’t help you. Okay?”
Tags: Anxiety Humor, Bandwidth, Deadlines, Maxed Out, Pressure, Stress Humor, Time Pressure, Workplace Tension
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Business Humor, Communication Humor, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Social Satire, Time Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | 2 Comments »
Thursday, April 26th, 2007
Keeping Abreast Of Bras
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There are gals who view bras as a gift,
For without ’em their breasts are adrift.
But other gals spurn ’em,
And some even burn ’em,
Giving men (and some women) a lift.
(In case you missed my Wonderbra song parody it’s here.)
UPDATE: Don’t forget to enter my Mother’s Day limerick writing contest. The deadline is May 12, 2007 and there are money prizes for the best two limericks.
Tags: Bra Humor, Brassieres, Breast Humor, Feminism Satire, Undergarments Humor, Underwear Humor
Posted in Fashion Humor, Feminist Satire, Limericks, Social Satire | 11 Comments »
Sunday, April 15th, 2007
For some reason, I almost forgot to post this:
ADD Ode
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Hey, doc, have I got ADD?
My attention span’s short as can be.”
“Take this test, and we’ll know
If you have it, although…”
“If I’ve what?” “ADD, sir.” “You see?”
“National Attention Deficit Disorder Awareness Day” is “celebrated” on the third Wednesday of September.
Tags: ADD Humor, Attention Deficit Disorder Awareness Day, Attention Deficit Humor, Attention Span Humor, Doctors Humor, Health Satire, Medical Humor, Mental Health Satire, Odd Holidays, September Holidays
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Health & Medical Humor, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Odd Holidays, Social Satire | 5 Comments »
Tuesday, April 3rd, 2007
Ode to Unselfishness
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My husband is great—good as gold.
And there’s no one more giving, all told.
He’s benevolent, caring,
Unselfish, and sharing.
Don’t believe me? He gave me this cold.
Tags: Benevolence, Generosity Humor, Health Satire, Love Humor, Marriage, Romance Humor, Sharing, Unselfishness
Posted in Family & Relatives Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Social Satire | 9 Comments »
Friday, March 23rd, 2007
Chafing At “Chick”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
When a guy calls a woman a chick,
It strikes me as sexist and sick.
But my comments are tame;
Unless Richard’s his name,
I’m polite and I don’t call him dick.
Tags: Feminism Humor, Male Female Relationships, Men Women, Sexism Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Feminist Satire, Limericks, Relationship Humor, Social Satire | 4 Comments »
Monday, March 5th, 2007
Office Politics
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Your career is at stake, you should know,
And you don’t want that guy as a foe.
Though his title ain’t fancy,
To mock him is chancy:
That fellow’s the president’s beau.
Tags: Business Satire, Career Satire, Office Politics Humor, Work Humor, Workplace Satire
Posted in Business Humor, Limericks, Social Satire, Workplace & Career Humor | 6 Comments »
Monday, February 5th, 2007
A Valiant Guy’s Guide To Valentine’s Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Attention guys — it’s time to get ready for Valentine’s Day. After all, you don’t want a repeat of last year, do you? I didn’t think so.
For most men, the very mention of Valentine’s Day conjures up memories of a last minute, fruitless shopping expedition followed by a quarrel with their girlfriend or wife. Women, on the other hand, tend to think romantic thoughts: champagne, dining by candlelight, strolling violinists, and an after-dinner brandy in front of a roaring fireplace. This scenario exists only in their fantasies, mind you. After all, they are dating or married to you. … (A Valiant Guy’s Guide To Valentine’s Day is continued here.)
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, February Holidays, Gift Humor, Holiday Fun, Men and Women, Relationship Satire, Romance Humor, Valentine Day's Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Holiday Humor, How-To Humor, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Relationship Humor, Self-Help Humor, Shopping Humor, Social Satire | 4 Comments »
Monday, January 22nd, 2007
Amusing Wine?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
When experts say wine is amusing,
It’s a compliment. Ain’t that confusing?
Why laugh at a wine
If you think that it’s fine?
Methinks they do far too much boozing.
(My food and drink humor is collected here.)
Update: Happy Drink Wine Day! (February 18th)
Tags: Amusing Wine, Drink Wine Day, Drinking Humor, February Holidays, Liquor Humor, Odd Holidays, Wine Experts, Wine Humor
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Social Satire | 6 Comments »
Tuesday, December 26th, 2006
What is it about December 31st that spurs fantasies of self-reform? Is it too much food and drink? Seasonal exuberance? Lunacy induced by crowds?
Every December, otherwise rational people make resolutions meant to transform them into organized, addiction-free souls with clean houses, healthy bodies, wholesome relationships, perfect children, and career paths soaring to the top — the same vows they made last year and the year before that.
Can our resolutions endure past January 1st? Can we make it to year’s end without ripping up our lists? … (It Is Hereby Resolved is continued here.)
Tags: December Holidays, Funny Contracts, Holiday Fun, Holiday Gifts, Husband Wife Humor, New Year's Humor, New Year's Resolutions Humor
Posted in Addiction Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Health & Medical Humor, Holiday Humor, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Marriage Humor, Satirical Contracts, Social Satire | 5 Comments »
