Archive for the ‘Restaurant Reviews & Humor’ Category
Saturday, March 9th, 2024
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SHOT or SHOTS at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to PICTURES, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best PICTURE-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
AMUSING, DOCTOR, NEUROTIC, POSTPONE, VANITY.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on April 7, 2024, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 6, 2024 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my SHOT or SHOTS-Rhyme Limerick:
“That damn bartender’s AWOL,” said Scott
To his prep cook. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”
“Though I’ve never mixed drinks,
I can do it, methinks,
So I gladly will give it a shot.”
And here’s my Picture-Themed Limerick:
“Gotta rush to the bookshop. I’m late!
I am meeting another blind date.
And that chick better look
Like her pic, or I’ll book
It, cuz boy, am I sick of pic-bait!”
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
An old woman who loved to complain,
Was neurotic and stubborn and vain.
When her doctor prescribed
Her a cane, the gal gibed:
“That will ruin my look. Where’s your brain?”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Alcohol Humor, Bartender Humor, Bartender Limerick, Battle of the Sexes, Beverage Humor, Blind Date Humor, Competition Limerick, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Deception Humor, Doctor Humor, Doctor Limerick, Health Humor, Health Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Vanity Humor, Vanity Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Dating Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | 122 Comments »
Wednesday, February 28th, 2024
“At the moment we met, I was charmed.
But my mood swiftly moved to alarmed
When my date turned irate
Without cause, while she ate,
As she brandished hard proof she was armed.”
Tags: Bad Date Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Battle of the Sexes Humor, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Dining Humor, Dining Limerick, Gun Humor, Gun Limerick, Weapons Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Guns & Safety Humor, Limericks, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | Comments Off on Gunning For Trouble? (Limerick)
Saturday, December 16th, 2023
“Let’s not eat here,” said Brad. “It’s for nerds.
And I’ve heard that the food tastes like turds.”
But Brad’s meal-mate insisted
And raved: “Can’t resist it!”
Brad ended up eating his words.
Tags: Dining Humor, Dining Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Idioms Humor, Idioms Limerick, Restaurant Humor, Restaurant Limerick
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | Comments Off on Dickering Over Dining (Limerick)
Saturday, November 11th, 2023
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using CATCH or CATCHES at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to MISTAKES, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best MISTAKE-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
FAULTY, HUSTLE, MEAN, POT, STICK.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on December 10, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 9, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my CATCH/CATCHES-Rhyme Limerick:
Said a woman who’d just married Irv,
“Many friends tried to stop me. What nerve!
Do I love the guy? Natch!
He’s a wonderful catch…
Though I’m keeping divorce in reserve.”
And here’s my MISTAKE-Themed Limerick:
A thickheaded fellow named Fred
Had dreamed of becoming a Fed.
But it wasn’t to be;
In an interview, he
Kept confusing “dead drop” with “drop dead.”
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
“This table is sticky. Please clean it,”
Said a restaurant patron. “I mean it!”
“I’ll be glad to,” the server
Replied with great fervor.
“But I can’t find my rag. Have you seen it?
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Advice Humor, Advice Limerick, Competition Limerick, Divorce Humor, Food Humor, Interview Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Restaurant Humor, Restaurant Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry Contest, Restaurant Reviews & Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | 152 Comments »
Sunday, October 22nd, 2023
“Chef, your food has a terrible taste!
Take it back! You prepared it in haste,”
Griped a large, nasty man.
The reply, said deadpan:
“Well at least it won’t go to your waist.”
Tags: Chef Humor, Chef Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Food Poem, Food Verse, Restaurant Humor, Restaurant Limerick
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | Comments Off on The Dissatisfied Patron (Limerick)
Thursday, September 21st, 2023
“Your masala’s delicious! Great flavor,”
Raved a customer, currying favor.
Then she added, “But please
Make it hotter. Don’t tease!”
Said the chef, “Fine, but first sign this waiver!”
Tags: Chef Humor, Chef Limerick, Curry, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Hot Spicy Food, Indian Food, Masala, Negotiation, Negotiations Limerick, Restaurant, Restaurant Humor, Waivers
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Food & Drink Humor, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | Comments Off on The Negotiation (Limerick)
Sunday, June 11th, 2023
I like dining on Asian cuisine,
Cooked with chicken or beef that is lean,
While chewing the fat
In a this-and-that chat
At our house. (I’ve the stay-at-home gene.)
Tags: Asian Food, Beef Humor, Chicken Humor, Conversation Humor, Genetics Humor, Home Limerick, House & Home, Spicy Food
Posted in Communication Humor, Food & Drink Humor, House & Home Humor, Limericks, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | Comments Off on Food Leanings (Limerick)
Monday, February 6th, 2023
When I first had “hot” food, I went wild.
(The cuisine I’d grown up with was mild.)
From then on, I sought “spicy
And hot,” which is dicey.
Ask a “French chef” for zesty? He’s riled!
Tags: Food and Drink, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Food Limericks, Food Poem, Food Verse, French Cuisine, Hot And Spicy Food Day, Spices Humor, Spicy Food
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | Comments Off on Hot For Hot Cuisine (Limerick)
Tuesday, October 18th, 2022
This limerick is a very compressed version of a necktie adventure with hubby Mark. And I can’t think of a better way to celebrate “International Necktie Day.”
“You MUST wear a necktie to enter,”
Mark was told. He’s a necktie dissenter,
But he re-tied his tie
Till our drinks were dropped by,
Then removed it — my waitress tormenter.
Tags: Clothing Humor, Clothing Limerick, International Necktie Day, Necktie Day, Necktie Humor, Necktie Limerick, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Restaurant Humor, Restaurant Limerick, Tie Humor, Tie Limerick, Ties
Posted in Clothing Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | 1 Comment »
Saturday, November 27th, 2021
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using CRUDE or CREWED or ACCRUED at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to CRIME, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best CRIME-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on December 12, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 11, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my CRUDE/CREWED/ACCRUED-rhyme limerick:
A comic was starting to freak
Cuz his comedy future looked bleak.
He turned morbid and crude
And increasingly lewd,
And was panned cuz he joked a blue streak.
And here’s my CRIME-themed limerick:
Said the sous-chef, “Don’t make me relive
The attack that killed chef/owner Viv.
I’m exhausted and drained,
And my recall has waned…
Cuz my mem’ry is much like a sieve.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Chef Humor, Chef Limerick, Comedian Humor, Comedian Limerick, Comedians, Comic Limericks, Competition Limerick, Crime & Punishment Humor, Crime Limerick, Law And Order, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Memory Humor, Memory Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Restaurant Humor, Restaurant Limerick, Standup Comedy, Standup Comics, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Memory Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | 195 Comments »
Tuesday, November 9th, 2021
The restaurateur was irate
Cuz his chef was, as usual, late.
“You must clean up your act,
Or expect to be sacked.
It’s time you step up to the plate!”
Tags: Boss Humor, Boss Limerick, Chef Humor, Chef Limerick, Cooking Humor, Cooking Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Job Loss Humor, Job Loss Limerick, Lateness Humor, Lateness Limerick, Restaurant Humor, Restaurant Limerick, Workplace & Career Humor, Workplace Limerick
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Restaurant Reviews & Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | Comments Off on The Shiftless Chef (Limerick)
Saturday, August 28th, 2021
A French restaurant, once upper crust,
Got a rotten review and went bust:
“Their food can’t be chewed,”
Wrote the prominent dude.
Two weeks later, the place bit the dust.
Tags: Business Humor, Business Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Language Humor, Language Limerick, Money & Finance Humor, Money Limerick, Restaurant Humor, Restaurant Limerick, Restaurant Reviews & Humor
Posted in Business Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | 1 Comment »
Thursday, August 19th, 2021
I’ve written my “Dear Chef” limerick to celebrate “National Hot And Spicy Food Day.” (August 19)
I like food that is spicy and hot.
Serve it bland? It’s returned on the spot.
Don’t assume you know best;
Second-guessing a guest
Means you’ve failed at your quest by a lot.
Tags: August Holidays, Chef Humor, Chef Limerick, Food Humor, Food Verse, Hot And Spicy Food Day, Odd Holidays, Restaurant Humor, Restaurant Limerick, Spicy Food
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Odd Holidays, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | Comments Off on Dear Chef (Limerick)
Tuesday, June 22nd, 2021
Does anyone else miss paper menus and train schedules? In New York City, at least, they’ve both disappeared — their elimination an apparent byproduct of the Covid pandemic.
Paper train-schedule? Thing of the past.
Paper menu? It too didn’t last.
Their replacement? Your phone,
Where such data is shown.
Your cell phone ain’t “smart?” Best act fast!
Tags: Cell Phone, Cell Phones, Covid Pandemic, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Menus, Paper Humor, Paper Limerick, Restaurant Humor, Restaurant Limerick, Smart Phones, Smart-Phone, Smartphones, Technology Humor, Technology Limerick, Telephones, Train Schedule Humor, Transportation Humor, Transportation Limerick
Posted in Commuting Verse, Computer Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Restaurant Reviews & Humor, Technology Humor, Telephone Humor | 1 Comment »
Saturday, December 1st, 2018
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using CORE or CORPS or DÉCOR at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SPICE, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best spice-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on December 16, 2018, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 15, 2018 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
This drink was a very “light pour.”
If you’d like to be paid, pour me more!
Here’s my other complaint
Which is likely to taint
Your review: piss-poor taste in décor.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Alcohol Verse, Bar Humor, Beverage Humor, Competition Limerick, Food and Drink, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Restaurant Humor, Restaurant Reviews & Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | 127 Comments »
Tuesday, December 22nd, 2015
Guys who despise ties (and who doesn’t?) will love New York City’s new gender discrimination rule banning restaurants from requiring ties for male diners only.
A male-only necktie demand
In Big Apple rest’rants is banned.
This new rule now protects
Our poor fellows’ sore necks.
How grand that such sexism’s panned!
Tags: Clothing Humor, Discrimination Limerick, Gender Humor, Necktie Limerick, Restaurant Humor, Sexism Humor, Tie Humor
Posted in Clothing Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | Comments Off on No Longer Tied To Ties (Limerick)
Thursday, May 21st, 2015
Holiday Tip (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m presenting a holiday tip.
No it’s not what you think. Get a grip!
It is Waitstaff Day. See?
And I’m sure you’ll agree
That those folks deserve more than this quip.
(National Waitstaff Day — May 21)
Tags: Food Humor, Food Verse, May Holidays, National Waiters and Waitresses Day, Odd Holidays, Waiter Verse, Waitstaff Day
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | Comments Off on Holiday Tip (Limerick)
Wednesday, February 25th, 2015
How NOT To Butter Up Your Waiter (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
When given some butter — a dollop,
She said “More, and don’t loll! Hurry! Lollop!”
On the waiter’s return
With a butter-filled urn,
She threw the urn, earning a wallop.
Tags: Butter Humor, Eating Limerick, Food Humor, Restaurant Humor, Rudeness, Rudeness Humor, Waiter Verse
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | Comments Off on How NOT To Butter Up Your Waiter (Limerick)
Wednesday, May 21st, 2014
Heated Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Chipotle says no packing heat
When you come to their rest’rants to eat.
This makes sense, cuz their food’s
Hot enough. Gals and dudes
Should save gunplay for home and the street.
Tags: Chipotle, Dallas Texas, Food Limerick, Gun Bans, Gun Humor, Gun Limerick, Gun Rights, Restaurants Humor, Weapons
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Restaurant Reviews & Humor, Weapons Humor | Comments Off on Heated Limerick
Monday, January 28th, 2013
I enjoy unearthing oddball news items and celebrating their weirdness in verse. For instance, energy bars made from crickets. But a restaurant whose recipe ingredient-list touts dirt? That’s a bit too much to digest.
So, I won’t be going to Tokyo’s French restaurant Ne Quittez Pas any time soon, even if their dirt is “special black soil from Kanuma, Tochigi Prefecture.”
Dishing Dirt (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear restaurant, please don’t feel hurt
If I spurn you, including dessert.
I have very good grounds:
Word is making the rounds
That your food features soil — that’s the dirt.
Tags: Black Soil, Food Humor, Food Verse, French Cuisine, Japan, Kanuma, Ne Quittez Pas, Odd Ingredients, Oddball News, Restaurant Humor, Strange Fads, Tochigi Prefecture, Tokyo
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Trends, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | 6 Comments »
