Archive for the ‘Religion Verse’ Category
Saturday, December 10th, 2022
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BLUE or BLEW at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to RELIGION, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best RELIGION-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: NAME, NAUSEOUS, PROFIT, TEASE, SILVER.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on January 8, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 7, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my BLUE or BLEW-Rhyme Limerick:
A litigious old fellow was blue.
His friends (he had only a few)
Asked “Why the bad mood?”
The response from that dude
Was “I’ve run out of people to sue!”
And here’s my RELIGION-Themed Limerick:
A man of the cloth would not share
His frank with his date at the fair.
“That’s unfair,” she cried out.
“I gave you my kraut.
So canoodle tonight? Not a prayer!”
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
There is someone I could (but won’t) name
Who makes me feel nauseous. My aim
Isn’t testing or teasing;
He’s just so displeasing,
I’d rather not add to his fame.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Law Humor, Law Limerick, Lawyer Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Litigation Humor, Litigation Limerick, Litigation Poem, Mood Humor, Mood Limerick, Mood Swings, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Dating Humor, Friendship Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Religion Verse | 187 Comments »
Saturday, September 3rd, 2022
An Orthodox woman was shakin’;
She’d been saved by a stranger from breakin’
Sev’ral bones in a fall.
The stranger (quite tall)
Said “No handshake? I just saved your bacon.”
******
“International Bacon Day” is celebrated on the first Saturday in September each year.
Tags: Bacon Humor, Bacon Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, International Bacon Day, Odd Holidays, Religion Humor, Religion Limerick
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Religion Verse | Comments Off on Hold The Bacon! (Limerick)
Friday, May 20th, 2022
A boy was bawled out by the nuns
For his sly use of off-color puns.
But he swore “I’m not punning!”
(The fellow was cunning.)
“Besides baking, just what’s done with buns?”
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Children Humor, Education & School Humor, Education Limerick, Nun Humor, Nun Limericks, Nuns, Pun Humor, Pun Limerick, Religion Humor, Religion Limerick, School Humor, School Limerick
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Children Humor, Education & School Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Religion Verse, Wordplay | Comments Off on The “Innocent” Punster (Limerick)
Monday, May 2nd, 2022
Someone dared me to write a latke limerick. (No need to check your calendars. Hanukkah’s still in December.)
A latke debate has emerged:
“Eat latkes with sugar,” Mark urged.
“Using sugar sounds weird,”
Sev’ral said. Others cheered.
As for me, latkes ought to be purged.
Tags: Chanukah, December Holidays, Festival Of Lights, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Food Poem, Hanukkah, Holiday Limerick, Jewish Humor, Latke Humor, Latke Limerick
Posted in Celebrations Poetry, Food & Drink Humor, Holiday Humor, Jewish Humor, Religion Verse, Seasons Humor | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, October 27th, 2021
I was inspired to write this limerick by the many male-written limericks I’ve read about priests:
I’m a female and Jewish, so never
Had priest problems – none whatsoever.
I don’t mean to be caustic.
I’m deeply agnostic;
Dodging clergy at large — my endeavor.
Tags: Agnostic Humor, Agnostic Limerick, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Priest Humor, Priest Limerick, Religion Humor, Religion Limerick, Religious Humor, Religious Limerick
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Limericks, Religion Verse | Comments Off on Irreverent Limerick
Monday, September 6th, 2021
Rosh Hashanah is early this year.
The calendar (Jewish) does veer
Just enough to confuse me,
Confound and bemuse me.
I must labor to get back in gear.
Tags: Holiday Humor, Jewish Calendar, Labor Day, Religion Humor, Rosh Hashanah, September Holidays
Posted in Holiday Humor, Religion Verse, Workplace & Career Humor | 1 Comment »
Monday, August 2nd, 2021
When someone’s depicted as “poor
As a church mouse,” I want to know more:
Are mice in a church
Always left in the lurch?
And if so, why not forage next door?
Tags: Church Humor, Church Limerick, Church Mouse, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Mice Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Money Limerick, Mouse Humor, Poverty Limerick, Religion Humor
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Idiom Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Religion Verse | Comments Off on More Fun With Idioms (Limerick)
Friday, October 3rd, 2014
Limerick Ode To Holiday Fasters
By Madeleine Begun Kane
To those who are fasting right now,
It is best not to think about chow.
And I hope that this tip
Doesn’t strike you as flip:
Though it’s stressful, please don’t have a cow.
Tags: Eating Humor, Fasting Limerick, Fasts Humor, Food Verse, Holiday Fast Humor, Holiday Humor, Jewish Humor, Religion Humor, Yom Kippur
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Religion Verse | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To Holiday Fasters
Monday, April 21st, 2014
Mark (unlike me) follows the Passover dietary rules. And now that the end’s in sight, he’s practically panting in anticipation of pizza and pasta.
Pasta Dreams (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My husband’s excitement is rising.
His mood’s leavened, which isn’t surprising.
Cuz Passover week
Is soon ending its streak;
Bread and pasta-decriminalizing.
Tags: April Holidays, Bread, Dietary Rules, Jewish Holidays, Jewish Humor, Matza Humor, Matzo Humor, Matzoh Humor, Passover, Pasta Humor, Pizza Humor, Religion Humor, Unleavened Bread
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Food & Drink Humor, Holiday Humor, Jewish Humor, Limericks, Religion Verse | 5 Comments »
Tuesday, April 15th, 2014
Passing Over Some Rules (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though I’m Jewish, I’m still eating bread
And refuse to munch matzo instead.
I spurn rules all the time,
Except canons of rhyme
And of meter … so don’t be misled.
Tags: April Holidays, Bread, Jewish Holidays, Jewish Humor, Matza Humor, Matzo Humor, Matzoh Humor, Meter Humor, Passover, Passover Humor, Religion Humor, Rhyme Humor, Unleavened Bread, Writing & Publishing Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Food & Drink Humor, Holiday Humor, Jewish Humor, Limericks, Religion Verse, Writing & Publishing Humor | 1 Comment »
Monday, April 14th, 2014
May your seder be lovely,
A holiday treat.
May it not be too late
Till you finally eat.
Happy Passover to all who celebrate it!
Tags: April Holidays, Dining Humor, Family Verse, Food Humor, Holiday Humor, Jewish Holidays, Jewish Humor, Passover, Passover Humor, Religion Humor, Religious Humor, Seder Humor
Posted in Family Verse, Food & Drink Humor, Holiday Humor, Jewish Humor, Religion Verse | Comments Off on Passover Verse
Tuesday, September 17th, 2013
My limerick was inspired by this news item:
Group of observant Brooklyn drug dealers told customers they were closed for Shabbat: The five men would text customers with warnings that they were about to stop dealing around sundown Friday, according to a criminal complaint…
“The men are accused of peddling heroin, oxycodone, cocaine and other drugs from their Bedford Ave. drug warehouse…”
Observant Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If you plan to sell drugs and break laws,
It seems God will forgive all your flaws,
And you won’t be a goner
So long as you honor
Shabbat with a crime-breaking pause.
Tags: Brooklyn, Crime & Punishment Humor, Drug Dealers, Illegal Drugs, Religion Humor, Religious Humor, Sabbath Humor, Shabbat Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Crime & Punishment Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Religion Verse | Comments Off on Observant Limerick
Wednesday, August 7th, 2013
Since I’m a devout agnostic, my response to Writer’s Digest’s latest poetry prompt essentially wrote itself. Here’s the prompt:
For this week’s prompt, take the phrase “Holy (blank),” replace the blank with a word or phrase, make the new phrase the title of your poem, and then, write your poem.
And here’s my limerick:
Holy Proselytizing (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Holy proselytizing’s annoying,
Whatever technique you’re employing.
I have one strong belief:
Way too much of our grief
Has been caused by religion-deploying.
Tags: Agnostic Limerick, Atheist Humor, Proselytizing Humor, Religion Humor, Religious Humor, Robert Lee Brewer, Writer's Digest
Posted in Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Religion Verse | 9 Comments »
Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
People aren’t the only ones in Seattle enjoying weed; BB Ranch butcher William von Schneidau’s “pot pigs” are partaking in cannabis too. According to von Schneidau, adding “weed to the feed,” makes the pig meat more savory.
Pigging Out On Weed (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Feeding weed to your pigs, you’ll agree
Seems a little bit odd, but you see
There’s a butcher who’ll swear
It makes tastier fare.
This doesn’t sound kosher to me.
Tags: Animal Verse, BB Ranch, Butcher Humor, Diet Humor, Drug Laws, Food Humor, Food Verse, Grass, Keeping Kosher, Marijuana, Pigs Humor, Religion Humor, Seattle Washington, Weed Humor, William von Schneidau
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Religion Verse | 4 Comments »
Saturday, April 7th, 2012
Passover practice:
Cut leavening from your bread.
Add it to your life.
Tags: April Holidays, Bread, Haiku & Senryu, Jewish Haiku, Jewish Humor, Passover, Religion Humor, Unleavened Bread Humor
Posted in Haiku & Senryu, Holiday Humor, Jewish Humor, Religion Verse, Self-Help Humor | 3 Comments »
Sunday, February 5th, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was way off his game…*
or
A woman was way off her game…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Off One’s Game (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was way off his game
And was looking for someone to blame.
He concluded that God
Had given the nod
To his nemesis — talk about lame!
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Game Humor, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Religion Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Religion Verse, Sports Humor | 46 Comments »
Sunday, August 14th, 2011
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman who always seemed game…
or
A fellow who always seemed game…
Here’s mine:
Game Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman who always seemed game
To attempt any venture you’d name
Resisted just one:
French kissing a nun.
Her excuse? “I can’t kiss an old flame.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Adventures Limerick, Bawdy Humor, French Kissing, Nuns, Poetry & Prompts, Religion Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Religion Verse | 63 Comments »
Friday, May 20th, 2011
Limerick Ode To End Timers
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Fanatics are trying to fend
With this concept: the world’s gonna end.
When portentous predictions
Turn out to be fictions,
They re-do their math and amend.
(Prompted by dire religious predictions and this weekend’s end theme)
Tags: Biblical Prophecies, Doomsday Prophets, End Timers, End Times, Fanatics Humor, Judgement Day, Predictions Satire, Rapture, Religious Humor
Posted in Limericks, Religion Verse | 9 Comments »
Tuesday, March 1st, 2011
AWOL Angel (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I guess guardian angels are fine.
I don’t know, cuz I’ve never met mine.
If I have one, it’s hiding—
No guarding, no guiding.
What I’m missing, I can not divine.
(Written for the We Write Poems Guardian Angel prompt.)
UPDATE: August 22 is Be An Angel Day, and October 2 is Guardian Angels Day.
Tags: Be An Angel Day, Divine Guidance, Guardian Angel, Guardian Angels Day, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Religion Humor, We Write Poems, Writing Prompts
Posted in Limericks, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts, Religion Verse | 13 Comments »
Saturday, December 25th, 2010
A reader asks, “What do Jews do on Christmas?” So as a public service, I offer a limerick explanation:
What Do Jews Do On Christmas? A Limerick Explanation
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Here’s a query that’s answered with ease:
“What do Jews do on Christmas Day, please?”
We watch movies and read.
Surf the Net. (Dull indeed!)
But mostly we munch on Chinese.
(I’ve dedicated that limerick to Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan. (This post explains why.) And here’s a fun article about Jews and Chinese Food.
While I’m posting holiday humor, I might as well post the rest of the holiday verse I dashed off this week.
I hope you’ll think that these haiku
Ain’t all that bad for this old Jew.
HOLIDAY HAIKU Quartet
Best safety advice
For the holiday season:
Hide under your bed.
*****
Since it’s Christmas Eve
Your shopping better be done,
Or you’ve been naughty.
*****
A generous gift
From our fav gov agency:
Revised 1040.
*****
No gifts for Kwanzaa
Or Christmas or Chanukah.
Husband’s gift enough.
*****
Tags: Chinese Food, Christmas Humor, Christmas Limerick, December Holidays, Elena Kagan, Food Poem, Holiday Haiku, Holiday Humor, Holiday Limerick, Jewish Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Food & Drink Humor, Holiday Humor, Jewish Humor, Limericks, Religion Verse, Seasons Humor | Comments Off on What Do Jews Do On Christmas? A Limerick Explanation
