Archive for the ‘Relationship Humor’ Category
Friday, January 11th, 2008
Miss Dating? Not me!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Before I was married I dated
Hardly ever, cause dating I hated.
Then I met hubby Mark,
Which created a spark.
Elated, we dated and mated.
(For more date-related poems, visit Sunday Scribblings)
NOTE: If you like to write limericks or haiku, give my new poetry prompt a try. My latest topic is right on the money.
Tags: Date Humor, Dating Limerick, Sunday Scribblings
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Relationship Humor | 17 Comments »
Friday, January 4th, 2008
Today’s limerick and haiku theme is lies and deception. First, my limerick:
“Your excuse simply can’t be believed.
You’re a liar! I feel quite deceived,”
Said the gal, as she wept,
To her lover, who’d slept
With her mother. (I guess she was peeved.)
And now, my haiku:
People who maintain
That they are always honest
Are surely lying.
Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about lies and deception. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry.
(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)
UPDATE: April 23 is Lover’s Day
Tags: April Holidays, Betrayal, Deception, Lies, Lover's Day, Lover's Quarrel, Odd Holidays, Relationship Haiku
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Family & Relatives Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor | 4 Comments »
Monday, December 31st, 2007
When prompted to use the words curious, eventually, and shower in a poem, this haiku more or less wrote itself:
I am curious:
Will you eventually
Shower? I hope so.
And here’s another haiku, this one inspired by an earth-themed prompt:
There’s no earthly way
I’d ever vote for global
Warming deniers.
Tags: 3 Word Wednesday Prompt, Shower Verse, Cleanliness Humor, Earth Poetry, Global Warming, Haiku & Senryu, Writer's Island
Posted in Haiku & Senryu, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor, Weather Humor | 9 Comments »
Friday, December 21st, 2007
Today’s limerick and haiku theme is love at first sight or, if you prefer, simply love. Here’s my love at first sight limerick:
Amoré Ode
By Madeleine Begun Kane
‘Twas amoré (yes, love) at first sight
When I met my dear husband that night.
We’ve been wed thirty years—
So much laughter, some tears.
Mark, my husband, remains Mr. Right.
And here’s my haiku on the same theme:
I laughed at the thought
Of love at first sight, but our
Love had the last laugh.
Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about love at first sight or some other love-related topic. When you’ve posted your poem, please return here and add a direct link to your love verse.
(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)
Tags: Amoré, Marriage Verse, Romance Limerick, Limerick and Haiku Prompts, Love At First Sight, Love Poetry, Poetry & Prompts, Romance Poem
Posted in Haiku & Senryu, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Relationship Humor | 8 Comments »
Wednesday, October 10th, 2007
The Definitive Bad Date (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A salty young gal is enraged
When she learns that her date is engaged,
So she curses the fellow—
Spews hate with a bellow,
Then shoots. Guess her anger ain’t staged.
NOTE: This limerick was loosely inspired by the inaugural edition of Totally Optional Prompts, which is an outgrowth of the late, lamented Poetry Thursday.
(You can find more of my dating humor here.)
Tags: Anger, Date Humor, Men and Women, Violence
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Dating Humor, General, Guns & Safety Humor, Limericks, Relationship Humor | 14 Comments »
Tuesday, September 18th, 2007
Taking Our Marriage’s Temperature
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My husband and I can agree
On most everything—“a” straight through “z”.
But as husband and wife
We suffer much strife
Over temp settings—heat and AC.
(We argue over our TV’s remote control too, but it refuses to rhyme.)
Update: Air Conditioning Appreciation days run from July 3 to August 15.
Tags: A.C. Humor, A/C, Air Conditioning Humor, Compatibility, Heat Humor, Husbands, Husbands and Wives, HVAC Humor, July Holidays, Marriage Limerick, Odd Holidays, Seasonal Verse, Spousal Humor, Summer Gripes, Technology Limerick, Temperature Humor, TV Remote Control, Weather Humor, Wife Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Family & Relatives Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Odd Holidays, Relationship Humor, Television (TV) Humor, Weather Humor | 4 Comments »
Wednesday, August 1st, 2007
I guess I must have led a very sheltered existence. Why do I say that? Because I’d never heard the phrase “five-second rule” until my husband Mark used it as an excuse to eat some treat he’d just dropped on the floor. (And yes, we’re still married.)
I naively assumed that Mark was the only person crazy enough to think germs politely wait five seconds before they attach themselves to goodies. But apparently lots of people (mostly men, I’m assuming) believe that if you drop food on the floor and pick it up really, really fast, it’s safe to eat.
In fact, the belief’s so widespread that some scientists (who apparently didn’t have anything better to do with their time) actually studied the issue. And yes, they concluded that the rule isn’t valid. (Did you really need me — or the scientists — to tell you that?)
This leads to my latest limerick, in which I use the word date instead of husband to protect the guilty … and because husband has too many damned syllables:
The Five-Second What???
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My date dropped dessert on the dirt.
“Please don’t eat it,” I managed to blurt,
As he started to chew
On his now blackened goo,
Saying “5-second rule — it won’t hurt.”
=========
(You can find more of my marriage humor here and more of my food humor here.)
Tags: Dating, Five-Second Rule, Food rules, Germs, Husbands, Marital Relationships, Science Humor, Scientific Studies, Scientists
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Dating Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Polls, Relationship Humor, Science Humor, Social Satire, Time Humor | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, July 4th, 2007
A Modest Dating Proposal For Anxious Guys (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Introducing your gal to your mom?
Are you worried your intro will bomb?
Well here’s some advice
So the meeting goes nice:
First tell her your date’s name is Tom.
Tags: Dates, Dating, Gender Issues, Introductions, Meetings, Modest Proposal, Moms, Mothers, Parenting, Parents
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Relationship Humor, Social Satire | Comments Off on A Modest Dating Proposal For Anxious Guys
Saturday, June 16th, 2007
Married To Money
By Madeleine Begun Kane
He’s a cheapskate, so stingy with cash,
That he threw an embarrassing bash:
When his daughter was wed
He paid eight bucks a head,
So no band, booze, or blooms — only hash.
I have lots more money humor here. And don’t forget to enter my money-themed limerick contest with money prizes. Okay, not a lot of money, but still…
Tags: Cheapskate Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Marriage Limerick, Parenting, Stinginess, Wedding Limerick
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Celebrations Poetry, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Relationship Humor | 3 Comments »
Thursday, May 31st, 2007
Bugged By Mosquitoes (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Mosquitoes are driving me mad.
Seems a zillion are biting me—bad!
Sprays and lotions don’t work;
They keep chomping and lurk,
While ignoring my husband—the cad!
Update: August 20 is World Mosquito Day.
Tags: August Holidays, Bugs, Husband and Wife Humor, Insect and Bug Humor, Insect Bites, Mosquitoes, Odd Holidays, Outdoors, Summer Gripes, Summer Humor, World Mosquito Day
Posted in Family & Relatives Humor, Insect Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Odd Holidays, Outdoors Humor, Relationship Humor, Seasons Humor, Weather Humor | 4 Comments »
Monday, May 21st, 2007
No Sweat Divorce (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“My husband and I are estranged,”
Said the wife, “’cause he acts so deranged.
His behavior’s aberrant
And vexingly errant.
I wish he could just be exchanged.”
(Can you imagine if divorce were as easy as shopping? And no, this isn’t autobiographical … although I do enjoying poking fun at my wonderful husband from time to time.)
Tags: Divorce Humor, Husband and Wife Humor Shopping Humor, Marriage Satire
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Family & Relatives Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Marriage Humor, Relationship Humor | 6 Comments »
Sunday, April 29th, 2007
My spring limerick contest was such a success, I’ve decided to hold limerick contests regularly. And it’s time for another one.
So here’s my challenge: Write a limerick related to the subject of mothers and post it here in a comment to this post no later than Saturday, May 12, 2007. I’ll announce the winners on Mother’s Day, May 13, 2007.
The first prize will be $25. The second prize will be $10. Both prizes will be paid via PayPal.
So, what exactly is a limerick? It’s a five line poem with an AABBA rhyme scheme and a very specific meter exemplified by these winning entries. (For more information about limericks check out these fine sites: Encyclospeedia Oedilfica and OEDILF.)
I’m looking forward to reading your entries!
UPDATE: The prize money has just doubled, thanks to a matching funds contest sponsorship by Billy Jones a/k/a Billy The Blogging Poet. Thanks to Billy’s generosity, there now will be $50 in first prize money and $20 in second prize money. Very cool, Billy!
UPDATE 2: This contest is now over, and the winners list and winning entries are posted here. Thanks for your wonderful entries, and stay tuned — another limerick contest is coming soon.
Tags: Limerick Contest, Moms Humor, Mother's Day Limericks, Mothering Day, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Parenting Humor, Writing Contests
Posted in Contests, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Holiday Humor, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Poetry Contest, Relationship Humor | 83 Comments »
Friday, April 13th, 2007
A Doggone Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“It’s so cute!” said the child, with delight.
“You can’t have it,” said Mom. “Puppies bite.
It’s adorable, true,
But dogs nip, bark, and chew,
And your Daddy will cower in fright.”
UPDATE: Happy National Puppy Day! (March 23rd)
Tags: Animal Satire, Child Humor, Family Fun, March Holidays, National Puppy Day, Odd Holidays, Parental Humor, Pet Humor
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Odd Holidays, Relationship Humor | 2 Comments »
Friday, March 23rd, 2007
Chafing At “Chick”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
When a guy calls a woman a chick,
It strikes me as sexist and sick.
But my comments are tame;
Unless Richard’s his name,
I’m polite and I don’t call him dick.
Tags: Feminism Humor, Male Female Relationships, Men Women, Sexism Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Feminist Satire, Limericks, Relationship Humor, Social Satire | 4 Comments »
Monday, March 19th, 2007
A Rueful Rhyme
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Your inventions are brilliant, it’s true.
Yes, you’re smart; it’s your rudeness I rue.
I regret that I met you,
My failure to vet you,
And, mostly, my saying, “I do.”
Tags: Husband Wife Humor, Marriage Satire, Relationship Fun, Vetting Humor, Working Humor
Posted in Business Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Relationship Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | 9 Comments »
Tuesday, March 13th, 2007
Belated Apology
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Your apology’s rather belated,”
Said the gal to a fellow she hated.
“Your delay makes me fear
That it isn’t sincere—
You still had your hair when we dated!”
*****
UPDATE: October 14 is Be Bald And Free Day.
Tags: Apologies Humor, Baldness Humor, Be Bald And Free Day, Dating Satire, Hair Humor, Men and Women Verse, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Romance Humor
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Apology Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Dating Humor, Limericks, Odd Holdays, Physical Appearance, Relationship Humor | 3 Comments »
Monday, March 5th, 2007
Sibling Trickster
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Pick a card,” was a phrase I would hear
As a child, from my brother, all year.
He did card tricks—his hobby.
I’d answer, quite snobby:
“Magician, please go. Disappear!”
Tags: Brother Humor, Card Tricks, Entertainment Limerick, Family Satire, Hobbies, Hobby Humor, Magic, Magician, Relatives Limerick, Sibling Humor, Sibling Rivalry
Posted in Children Humor, Entertainment Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Hobbies Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, Recreation & Fun Humor, Relationship Humor | Comments Off on Sibling Trickster
Tuesday, February 13th, 2007
Surmounting Marriage
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Before agreeing to marry my husband Mark, I asked him the usual questions:
- Do you know what a hamper is and have you ever actually used one?
- Do you spend weekends sprawled in front of a sports-spewing screen, devouring couch potato chips?
- Are your parents likely to drive me to drink?
Mark told the appropriate fibs, I pretended to believe him, and several months later we wed. But soon after the wedding, I realized I’d forgotten to ask the most important question of all: When you see a mountain, do you get an irresistible urge to do something stupid? (Surmounting Marriage is continued here.)
Tags: Husband Wife Relationship Humor, Marriage Satire, Mountain Climbing, Outdoor Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Fashion Humor, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Leisure Time Humor, Marriage Humor, Outdoors Humor, Recreation & Fun Humor, Relationship Humor, Sports Humor, Travel Humor, Vacation Humor | 11 Comments »
Monday, February 5th, 2007
A Valiant Guy’s Guide To Valentine’s Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Attention guys — it’s time to get ready for Valentine’s Day. After all, you don’t want a repeat of last year, do you? I didn’t think so.
For most men, the very mention of Valentine’s Day conjures up memories of a last minute, fruitless shopping expedition followed by a quarrel with their girlfriend or wife. Women, on the other hand, tend to think romantic thoughts: champagne, dining by candlelight, strolling violinists, and an after-dinner brandy in front of a roaring fireplace. This scenario exists only in their fantasies, mind you. After all, they are dating or married to you. … (A Valiant Guy’s Guide To Valentine’s Day is continued here.)
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, February Holidays, Gift Humor, Holiday Fun, Men and Women, Relationship Satire, Romance Humor, Valentine Day's Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Holiday Humor, How-To Humor, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Relationship Humor, Self-Help Humor, Shopping Humor, Social Satire | 4 Comments »
Monday, January 22nd, 2007
A Take-Charge Marriage
By Madeleine Begun Kane
We’re both bossy, my husband and I.
Domineering, some say with a sigh.
But though some might disparage
A two-bosses marriage,
Each day is the Fourth of July.
(My marriage humor is collected here.)
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Compatibility Humor, Husband Wife Limerick, Marriage Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Family & Relatives Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Relationship Humor | 5 Comments »
