Although her great-uncle was old,
He still loved to play sports; he was bold
And he gave it his all
When he lunged for a ball.
He’d but ONE worry: Catching a cold!
Archive for the ‘Recreation & Fun Humor’ Category
An Age-Old Story (Limerick)
Tuesday, April 26th, 2022Skating On Thin Ice? (Limerick)
Tuesday, February 15th, 2022Though I usually avoid sports, I love watching competitive figure skating. And it always brings back childhood memories of skating on a lake that probably wasn’t as frozen as my otherwise cautious parents assumed.
As a child, I loved skating on ice.
But take lessons? Pursue it? No dice!
Cuz you can’t be a klutz
Doing axels or lutz.
(I moved on to a different “vice.”)
Exit Interruptus
Wednesday, December 15th, 2021We were packed and all ready to jet
To a beachfront resort, when “Not yet,”
Said my wife. “I must go
Get my hair curled by Flo.”
Hours later: “Let’s leave. I’m all set.”
(For the record, I don’t have a wife. But I do have a procrastinating husband with no concept of time.)
A Limerick Ode To Dice
Saturday, December 4th, 2021“Our son has a terrible vice;
He’s a gambler and not very nice.
When we tell him to stop,
He says, ‘Mother and Pop,
All my cards on the table: No dice!'”
(December 4 is “National Dice Day.”)
Whimsical Limerick
Monday, September 20th, 2021A man in the mood for a swim,
Who would frequently act on a whim,
Dove into a pool
From a tree; hurt his tool…
Vowed to stop going out on a limb.
Beach Day (Limerick)
Tuesday, August 30th, 2016Lying down on the sand to get tanned
Is a pastime I NEVER have planned.
And my swim skills are grim,
Way too hard on my vim.
But long walks on non-beach-land are grand.
Happy National Beach Day! (Aug. 30)
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: ROE or THOREAU or ROW (which MUST use ROE Pronunciation) at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5
Saturday, August 1st, 2015It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using ROE or THOREAU or ROW (which MUST use ROE pronunciation) at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
My husband went out for a row–
Not a fight but a boat ride, although
I suppose while he works
Those oars, jet ski jerks
Could cause him to go toe to … tow.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Sunny Limerick
Tuesday, May 27th, 2014Sunny Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I confess that I’m really not one
To use sunscreen, but please don’t make fun.
My skin’s still protected;
The scheme I’ve selected
Is hide and stay out of the sun.
Happy Sun Screen Day! (May 27)
UPDATE: “Don’t Fry Day” falls on the Friday before Memorial Day.
Out On A Limb Limerick
Tuesday, May 6th, 2014Out On A Limb Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A show-off is out on a limb,
Having climbed a tall tree with great vim.
He is grim now and sore;
Ev’ry limb hurts full-bore.
Will he awe, thrill, or score? Hopes are dim.
(DiversePoets asks for tree poetry.)
Dancing With A Wild Man (Limerick)
Wednesday, May 22nd, 2013Mark and I take weekly group ballroom dancing classes. However, due to sundry symptoms, we’ve missed a bunch of them. But we finally made to a class Tuesday night, which reminded me of this:
Dancing with A Wild Man (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My husband has very wild moves.
So when dancing, it surely behooves
Me to exercise care
And really beware,
As I try not to fall, while he grooves.
Gamey Limerick
Wednesday, August 15th, 2012This week’s challenge over at Poetry Jaam is to write something related to games. I hasten to add that the person described in my limerick is fictitious … at least I hope he’s fictitious.
Gamey Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who often played darts
Hated card games, especially hearts.
He threw like a pro,
Beating most every foe,
And distracted opponents with farts.
A Game Limerick
Wednesday, August 8th, 2012One of my favorite weekly prompts is Three Word Wednesday. This week, it asks us to use the following three words in any sort of poem: Crumble, Drawn and Uneasy. Well, I managed to squeeze them all into this limerick:
A Game Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A chess player, looking quite drawn,
Was caught in an uneasy yawn.
“My game skills have crumbled,”
The man weakly mumbled.
“I feel like I’m naught but a pawn.”
UPDATE: July 20th is International Chess Day, and the 2nd Saturday of October is National Chess Day.
Camp-Free Limerick
Wednesday, June 6th, 2012Poetic Asides prompts us to write poems about camping. As you can see, I’m not exactly a roughing-it kind of gal:
Camp-Free Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m reluctant to rough it outside.
I need comforts a house can provide.
I’m too timid to camp,
But at home I’m a champ
Where mosquitoes can’t feast on my hide.
Update: August 20 is World Mosquito Day.
Cruising For Laughs
Thursday, December 8th, 2011I learned some valuable lessons during the second annual Lewis Black Comedy Cruise:
1: When stand-up comics like Lewis Black, Kathleen Madigan, John Bowman, Vic Henley, Mike Wilmot, Greg Proops, Jeff Stilson, and Tim Wilson are having great difficulty standing up, they aren’t necessarily drunk. It could also be THE HURRICANE.
2. My husband’s delusions of grandeur are no longer confined to his thinking he’s both a lawyer and an MD. He now thinks he’s a comedian.
Yes, hubby Mark Kane actually did a three-minute routine on “amateur comic night” — his virgin performance — and he did amazingly well.
And no, I didn’t perform any of my limericks. Why not? Because I can’t even remember what I wrote 30 seconds ago.
3) When you rumba really fast, and with lots of enthusiasm, it passes for dancing … at least on a ship-load of Lewis Black groupies.
Okay, right now you’re probably saying to yourself, “What’s with all this prose? I want me some limericks!”
Well don’t worry. I’ve written a half-dozen limericks about the cruise and some of the comedians who made it so much fun:
Cruising For Laughs
By Madeleine Begun Kane
We went cruising with Lew, Vic, Kathleen,
John and Wilmot, whose act sure ain’t clean.
Also Tim, Jeff and Greg,
And some hurricane — Meg???
Comics bravely tried not to careen.
*****
Limerick Ode To Vic Henley
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The stand-up comedian Vic
Has a wit that’s incredibly quick.
He hails from the south,
But his city-smart-mouth
Conjures up multi-cultural schtick.
*****
Limerick Ode To Mike Wilmot
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The off-color comic named Mike
Tells some jokes that the squeamish might spike.
But his musical tales
Provoked huge laughter gales.
So Mike’s funny, but leave home your tyke.
*****
Mad Kane At Sea
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m afraid that I’m feeling at sea:
I went cruising — a comedy spree
With Lew Black and his crew,
Who were funny on cue.
How I miss all that laughter and glee!
*****
Limerick Ode To Greg Proops
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The brilliant Greg Proops hurts my brain.
His routines nearly drive me insane:
His mind is so fast,
And his humor’s a blast,
Yielding laughter that leaves me in pain.
*****
Pining For Lew
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m afraid I don’t know what to do,
Cuz I’m pining away for dear Lew.
To wait a full year
For more Lewis cruise cheer?
Such pain can’t be borne by this Jew.
*****
(You can read my limericks about the 2010 cruise here and my Kathleen Madigan limerick here.)
Yet Another 2011 Super Bowl Limerick
Saturday, February 5th, 2011Help! I can’t stop writing Super Bowl limericks! After reading about the disastrous Dallas weather leading up to tomorrow’s Super Bowl game, I felt compelled to write this limerick. (Full disclosure: Roughly a zillion years ago I lived in Dallas, played oboe in the Dallas Symphony, and taught oboe at SMU.)
Yet Another 2011 Super Bowl Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A friend of ours living in Dallas
Likes to brag that his city’s a palace,
Taunting “Never get snow!”
Then it snowed (don’t you know)
On the game. I won’t laugh cuz it’s callous.
Not Souped Up By The Super Bowl
Saturday, February 5th, 2011If you read my limerick about the NFL playoffs, you probably assume I won’t be watching tomorrow’s Super Bowl game in snow-challenged Dallas. And you’d be right:
Not Souped Up By The Super Bowl (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There are those who find football a gas.
But when football’s on, I take a pass.
I treat baseball the same.
Just don’t like any game
That has balls. I would rather mow grass.
Our Adventures on the Lewis Black Comedy Cruise
Monday, November 15th, 2010I am not a cruise person. I hate the sun and I avoid boats and water whenever possible. Plus I’m pretty sure I’m allergic to buffets.
But when hubby Mark and I heard about the Lewis Black Comedy Cruise, featuring comedy greats like Kathleen Madigan, John Pinette, Ted Alexandro, Larry Wilmore, Vic Henley, Dom Irrera, and John Bowman, we couldn’t resist.
Wise decision!
Now even with that superb lineup, I was a little leery. In fact, I wrote this limerick before setting unsteady foot on that ship:
I’ve never attempted a cruise,
So I’m nervous — will need lots of booze.
But I could not resist
Such a great comic list.
I need laughs to get over the news.
But I needn’t have worried. Lewis Black was his usual hilarious self, as were all the other comics. Plus we had a great time with the comedians, who mingled after-hours with the riffraff … I mean, fans.
Here’s my two-verse limerick ode to Lewis Black (I wrote it mid-cruise when Internet connection rates were roughly a gazillion bucks a minute.)
The angry old comic Lew Black
Has a mind that is quite out of whack.
So he offered a cruise
Packed with laughter and booze,
Fulfilling a deep-seated lack.
Yes, Lew had a very strong yen
For more contact with women and men:
Lots of fun-loving folks
Who’d laugh at his jokes
And then trail him till heaven knows when.
And finally, my post-return limerick:
We’re home from a comic sensation:
Lew’s Cruise, filled with laughs and elation.
There’s another next year.
(The thought makes me tear.)
Thank you, Lew. You deserve each ovation.
Oh … and just so you know, Lewis Black isn’t just a comic genius — he’s also a mensch.
Thin-Skinned Plushenko Skating On Thin Ice?
Monday, February 22nd, 2010As I’ve mentioned before, figure skating is the only sport I enjoy watching on television.
And as much as I was rooting for American skater Evan Lysacek to win the men’s figuring skating gold, I do admire Russia’s Evgeni Plushenko. In fact, I was looking forward to seeing if he could land himself a second gold medal.
But I join many of Plushenko’s fans in being disappointed by his ungracious post-long-program remarks.
After U.S. skater Evan Lysacek took the 2010 men’s figure skating Olympic gold and Plushenko was relegated to silver, Plushenko seemingly put Evan and the other contenders down, saying:
Overall my basic position and attitude is that movement needs to go forward and never stop, never go back. I think people need to do lots of quads.”
As McClatchy’s Gil LeBreton observes:
Because the Russian skater was the only one in the room who does quads, his remarks Thursday night came across as self-serving — sour grapes, unbecoming of a guy who thought he could take three years off from the sport and then dance in and steal the gold medal.
Plushenko, quadruple jump and all, received the silver medal in Thursday night’s men’s figure skating finals. U.S. skater Evan Lysacek, who attempted no quads in his dramatic, near-flawless performance, was rewarded with the gold.
This brings me to my latest limerick:
Thin-Skinned Plushenko Skating On Thin Ice?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Plushenko, your program was fine,
But did not deserve gold, so don’t whine.
Stop implying your quad
Should have earned you the nod.
Evan beat you. His skate was divine.
Super Bowl Sunday Blues
Saturday, February 6th, 2010This probably sounds un-American, but I never watch football on television … or anywhere else, for that matter. Not even the Super Bowl.
Okay, maybe the half-time show for the musical acts. (I love The Who!) And perhaps a commercial or two, if my husband’s hysterical laughter gets my attention. But that’s it!
Super Bowl Sunday Blues (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I rarely watch sports on TV.
Figure skating is all that I’ll see.
So on Super Bowl Sunday,
I dream about Monday.
Till then, from our screen I must flee.
